Still popular, still annoying, Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance" actually has people singing along, even when the lyrics are:
"Rah, rah, ah, ah, ah Roma, roma, ma Gaga, ooh, la, la"
And why not? I can easily go into "Witch Doctor" mode, without the song playing, and sing "Ooo eee, ooo ah ah, ting tang walla walla bing bang, ooo eee, ooo ah ah, ting tang walla walla bing bang!" (And that's from memory. Which I still have.)
Not long ago, some contestant on "America's Got Talent" wowed the crowed with a slow, passionate (he thought) version of "Bad Romance," wriggling his tongue around
"Rah, rah, ah, ah, ah Roma, roma, ma Gaga, ooh, la, la."
As long as there are pop hits, there will be stupid nonsense lyrics. No way to shield yourself from it, even if you turn off your radio and hide under an umbrella-ella-ella. Somebody else's blaring ear-buds, some supermarket's speakers, or some idiot singing out loud, will force you to hear the nonsense.
And that's the subject Jack E. Leonard addressed so long ago. "THAT'S THE WAY THEY SING" was the title of HIS novelty song. So go gaga, and download it, sans any password or having to type in a code. Ah ah, no capcha! Ya ha!
JACK E. LEONARD sings "THAT'S THE WAY THEY SING"
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Heading toward one in the morning, you flip from CBS to NBC. What do you get?
On CBS, Craig Ferguson, with the ever-naughty look on his aging face, has yet again pushed the button so that SECRETARIAT can clomp onto the stage. Craig leaps to his feet to do the "Secretariat Dance," even more annoying than Conan's "string dance." He jabs the air with his upraised arms, and encourages his audience to go into mock hysterics. Wheeeee. Are we having fun yet?
Quickly turning to NBC, the alternative is Jimmy Fallon imitating Bud Collyer. I know, an OLD reference. And Jimmy is SO cutting edge! Except there he is, doing daytime schtick even Ellen Degeneres would find lame...hauling idiots out of the audience to do "Beat the Clock"-type stunts. That's entertainment?
For a while, Ferguson was something truly fresh. I liked his anecdotal, meandering monologues. The tired "letters from viewers" gambit that Letterman had long discarded, was funny again with Craig eager to show off his ad-lib chops. Craig could be irreverent with guests, and was savvy enough to ease up on the dress-in-costume sketches. When upstart Fallon arrived, Craig beat him easily.
Too bad the obvious and predictable happened...Craig began phoning it in, tiring of his tweeties-and-emails routine, cutting his monologue short, finding limited joy in tormenting viewers with puppets and "Secretariat."His boss, Letterman, made a career out of annoying people, and showing disdain for the nightly grind, so why not Craig? Because Craig isn't Dave, and the gay jokes, the smirks, the cursing...has all become a big bore. Craig was able, last week, to do the unthinkable. He made a trip to Paris boring. And yes, he brought Secretariat along.
As for Fallon, it wasn't a shaky start for him. He looked petrified. Who wouldn't feel bad about that? And to his credit, he got comfortable, and even scored some highlight moments with his Neil Young impression and the chutzpah of doing a duet with Paul McCartney. We all knew Paul mumbled "Scrambled Eggs" to the melody of "Yesterday," but here he was, actually doing an entire "Scrambled Eggs" song. Yes, it got pretty cold and stale before the last chorus, but it was still a fun moment.
So what happened? Fallon fell in love with his rock star parodies, began to coast with audience-participation stunts, and even dragged his guest stars into games of charades, and "Password" with his announcer not quite being Allen Ludden. In other words, subtle. Jimmy's announcer, who looks like Joseph Kearns (another old reference) mostly stands around with a smug, indulgent look on his face, tossing in wisecracks ala Andy Richter. In other words, he thinks he's funnier than Fallon and wants everyone to know he's just taking it easy on the kid. PS, if Jimmy thinks black people would ever tune in just because he deliberately chose what he thinks is da bomb of a band...well, check the demographics. It's still nerd-heavy.
Well, I've begun to do the unthinkable, for someone who wrote a book called "The Fight for Tonight," and who followed those who followed Carson and Cavett...including Dave, Snyder, Craig Kilborn, etc. I've found myself simply TURNING THIS REPETITIOUS, TEDIOUS, UNFUNNY SHIT OFF. I've decided to GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP instead. Or read. Or...
Funny (at least sometimes), Dave, Jay, and Jimmy aren't nearly as tiresome as Ferguson and Fallon. Maybe it's because those three know that there's competition, and there's good money involved, and that the hour isn't so late that people will simply stay and stare in a state of insomniac numbness no matter what insulting garbage flickers on the screen. G'night Craig. G'night Jimmy.