President's Day and AZQuotes.Com - Two Pointless Wastes of Time

February 17th is "PRESIDENTS DAY." The point? To shut down the schools so the kids won't learn about Lincoln or Washington or anything else. The banks are closed. The public libraries are closed JUST in case somebody wanted to take out a book. The reason for the shut-down is...well...the New York POST will tell you:

The New York Post used to be a newspaper. Now they're more of a pennysaver, saving pennies for themselves. They make pennies any time somebody buys crap via a hot link on their site...including these "infomercial" articles. They need the money to offset the fact that few people are literate anymore, and most get what little news they read via FREE websites and blogs that re-write the facts others spent weeks and months to obtain.

Most monkeys get all they need from what is "trending" on Twitter -- and Twitter gives them the chance to cheep-cheep, howl, or bray their idiot opinions on who should be BOYCOTTED or FIRED based on something probably misquoted if said at all.

What would happen if this quote appeared on Twitter? Most would believe it:

Of course it's fake. I Photoshopped it myself. But who really cares what's factual anymore? "I was informed" is not as important as "I was entertained."

The AZQUOTES site and other parasite sites routinely swipe stuff and/or attribute quotes incorrectly. In honor of PRESIDENTS DAY, here's an example:

I saw this quote on Facebook, and it was posted by some middle-aged guy who should've known better. So you can imagine how easly the average Millennial DUDE can be tricked. Right, right, Abe Lincoln talks like a sk-8-terboy from Oregon. "Rottenness" surely must've been in the Gettysburg Address somewhere, too. "Hey, look at this battlefield. The war was fierce! I'm stepping in rottennness!"

Steve Allen's word is "dumbth," and sadly, it doesn't merely involve pop culture atrocities like the continued worship of Kardashians and Jenners, the mindless devotion to Marvel comic book movies, endless sequels involving The Joker, the continued tediousness of rap, or the booming laughtrack on garbage sitcoms. It involves people who don't know how to think for themselves, don't question what they are told, and are gullible to anything from moronic memes to sing-song jackasses from Sri Lanka or Pakistan calling them up and saying "I am with your bank, tell us your social security number and password, we have had a glitch."

Of course, Abraham Lincoln and the founding fathers never thought the day would come when a president would be a crook and conniver who blatantly engages in corrupt and immoral activity to the delight of his pinhead followers and the embarrassment of the Republican party (which once supported HONEST ABE). Talk about ROTTENNESS, and you're talking about the current president, the former "reality show" TV idiot who went bankrupt with his stinking casinos and his evil "university" and so many creepy business ventures. The one who has a record for stiffing contractors who helped him build his grotesque apartments with his name all over them. The one who routinely name-calls his (many) enemies, clowns around during speeches by making faces and telling bad jokes, and who engages in blatant racism and lethal denial of climate change. The one who spawned a grubby pair of twits who are proud of shooting down wildlife at gutless "canned kill" events. The one who makes "Presidents Day" the perfect day for buying a mattress...because everyone is getting fucked.

Ain't That a Shane -- founding KINGSTON TRIO member, Bob Shane, 85

DID HE EVER RETURN, NO HE NEVER RETURNED. Definitely not now.

Bob Schoen was a founding member of The Kingston Trio. The last of the line. He died the other day at age 85.

The group didn’t form in Kingston, Jamaica. It happened in Hawaii, where Punahou School by Bob met obstreperous little Dave Guard. They attended college in California, and met up with Nick Reynolds. The rest…is pretty damn lucky.

It seemed they clicked almost from the start. The folk revival was on, but these college boys slicked it up, getting even more commercial than The Weavers. Folk purists were pissed, but “Tom Dooley” was a golden shower…a Top Ten hit. Perhaps it benefitted by teenagers’ fetish for “death songs” and “Teen Angel” and the rest of it. “Hang down your head Tom Dooley…poor boy you’re bound to DIE.” Well, yes, Tom was another fuckin Mack the Knife. No finger-snappin’ from Bobby Darin for the Trio. They harmonized the horrors. Later on, somebody or other whined that “Tom Dooley” was “Tom Dula,” and somehow the song was NOT in public domain and they wanted a cut. OK, pass the knife.

Another oddball hit for the Trio was “The MTA Song.” This was an adaptation of an actual politician’s song. Based in part on public domain folk songs, it was re-written a bit by two women, and it was performed on trucks around Boston. The politician (who lost badly) ran with the promise of doing away with the weird fare increase and zoning rules. The song was first recorded by a guy I knew, Will Holt, but Coral Records got into a panic when he used the actual name of the politician. They went back and awkwardly spliced out the name.

Holt may have missed out on “The MTA Song,” but he sound an obscure Latin-tinged tune that he liked, wrote English lyrics for it, and “Lemon Tree” became a hit for Trini Lopez. (Not to be confused with Latrini Lopez, who was a mens room attendant at The Bitter End.)

Meanwhile, The Kingston Trio decided to cover Will’s version, jazz it up with their jaunty harmonies, and switch the name to the fictitious ‘George O’Brien.’ And they had a huge hit. It as SUCH A HUGE HIT…that people accepted this silly novelty song despite all logic. Charlie would “ever return no he’ll never return” because he couldn’t pay a nickel to get off the train? But his wife goes down to the station and throws him a sandwich every day? Doesn’t put a NICKEL in it? And Charlie hasn’t filled the train with piss and shit?

Oh, that Kingston Trio. They were charmers. I preferred the Ivy League Trio, and soon Peter Paul and Mary came along with better harmonies, but these guys remained popular till folk music was replaced by folk rock. And speaking of replacements, the first to step off the gravy train was Davy. Dave Guard stomped away to form the Whiskeyhill Singers, and he did have a great idea in having a WOMAN front the band. This was Judy Henske, the Queen of the Beatniks, and a woman who could sing the blues better than Janis, do comedy, and perform every type of hipster folk or rock that an audience might want. Naturally, the group flopped after one album on Capitol. Judy went on to a solo career. The Trio went on, too, with John Stewart, who had been in The Cumberland Three. Stewart and the Trio ambled and rambled from 1961 to 1967. Stewart had a good long solo career and also had hits as a songwriter (including the Monkees’ stupid “Daydream Believer”).

There was a “New Kingston Trio” and then, returning to being “The Kingston Trio,” the line-up was still anchored to founder Bob Shane, with George Grove one of the more long-lasting of the revolving door others. Nick Reynolds even made a return in the 80’s for a while, and so did another former member, Bill Zorn, when Bob Shane finally had to retire in 2004 due to a heart condition. I’m not sure if Zorn and Grove are still out there with some third stooge, calling themselves The Kingston Trio, and I really don’t care.

Their great years were with Shane and then with Stewart, and probably a dozen or two songs in their prestigious catalog are still worth listening to once in a while. But Shane, Stewart, Guard…will they ever return? No, they’ll … well, to quote Zevon, “reincarnation? Maybe that stuff’s true…”

"Rock and Roll Hall of Fame" Bitching? Come on, duuuude, it's DIE-VERSE-CITY

Every year you can be sure of two musical bores:

1. Grammy Awards bitching because not every award went to Jay-Z or Beyonce or to somebody else "of color" and

2. Rock and Roll Hall of Fame bitching because not every honor actually went to a ROCK star, but instead somebody "of color."

Yes, we certainly do have a problem about how much affirmative action we still need, and who should benefit and why.

There's no reason why Whitney Houston or Notorious B.I.G. should be in a "Rock and Roll Hall of Fame" while Warren Zevon remains excluded, and yes, Pat Benatar.

Benatar is, after all, famous. Isn't she? Too bad she's white.

It's also too bad that the "Rock and Roll Hall of Fame" is not really driven by scholarship, or any attempt at teaching people the history and roots of rock. If this Cleveland pimple was an actual MUSEUM and run by a board that cared about preservation of rock music and curating to educate, GENYA RAVAN would be in. And so would FANNY.

Before there was a Pat Benatar, before there was even a Stevie Nicks or a Janis Joplin, there was GENYA RAVAN, who fronted the first all-girl band that had any success in the world, Goldie and the Gingerbreads. They played on the same stage as the Rolling Stones. Genya went on to be the woman fronting the otherwise all-male jazz-rock fusion group Ten Wheel Drive.

She went on to record incredibly raw, soulful and intense solo albums, and to even produce The Dead Boys and be part of the New York punk movement. "Urban Desire" (with a guest performance by Lou Reed) was from that era.

She's not black. She's Jewish. Oh well. Fuck diversity.

As for FANNY, they certainly picked up where Goldie and the Gingerbreads left off, and with producer Richard Perry and others guiding their albums, were whispered to be "the female Beatles," for their blend of smooth pop harmonies and hard driving forays into kickass rock. Without Fanny, there would not be The Bangles, who some seem to think were the first all-female rock group.

I could name plenty of other worthy artists NOT in the "Rock and Roll Hall of Fame," but people do that EVERY year. THIS year includes glaringly ridiculous inclusions? Wait till NEXT year...

A Night at the phantom of the Opera

"I've been aunt and uncled, Art Garfunkeled..."

FOR SALE - replica of GWYNETH PALTROW'S VAGINAL ODOR

Gwyneth Paltrow has this candle she sells -- "IT SMELLS LIKE MY VAGINA."

Is this something that appeals to a lot of people? I'd prefer Blythe Danner, actually.

She sells it via her company, GOOP, which is apparently named after some other bodily function of hers.

But the interesting thing is that her vagina apparently has a candle perpetually burning in it.

So she might smell like John F. Kennedy's grave.

Hey BORG, "Don't be a Dick" and shit-list people with unwanted email SPAM

So I get a header about a book called "DON'T BE A DICK."

Do I know this DICK? No, I don't. Did he get my email address from ME? No, he did not.

He wrote a book called "DON'T BE A DICK" and...he's BEING A DICK? Yes.

Second opinion - he looks like a dick.

I'm not an expert in sending unwanted SPAM EMAILS to people, and being a DICK.

It would seem to me that "DON'T BE A DICK" would involve advice on NOT pestering people. Perhaps it would also useful to NOT have such a swelled (DICK) head as to think, "the rules don't apply to ME. People I send unwanted emails to, will THANK ME."

There are probably 50 ways (if not 500) to get shit-listed by a DICK like BORG. I'd hate to think that a reputable publisher, literary agency, author's group or even desperate organization like BOOK EXPO, would stoop to SELLING EMAIL ADDRESSES. All I can do is shrug like Dylan: "Whoever it is I wish they'd cut it out quick, but when they will, I can only guess." IDIOT EMAILS...

THANKS...for having that UNSUBSCRIBE link at the bottom of your tedious waste-of-time presumptuous email scolding people to "DON'T BE A DICK."