Carrie Fisher and the Corrupt Slimy, HOLLYWOOD WALK OF FAME

"They can take their star and I'll tell them what to do with it."

I'm paraphrasing Moe Howard of the Three Stooges.

In his lifetime, The Three Stooges were DENIED a star on the "Hollywood Walk of Fame."

What a poke in the eye it was. Tourists strolling the "Hollywood Walk of Fame" couldn't see MOE, but they could see:

Renee Adoree, Art Acord, Brian Aherne, Philip Ahn, Adrienne Ames, Don Alvarado, Mary Anderson, Heather Angel, Michael Ansara, Dorothy Arzner and Nils Asther.

I'm restricting myself only to movie stars who were contemporaries of Moe, and to the first letter of the alphabet. What an A-list, huh? How many of them have you even heard of? Yes, Philip Ahn was a capable actor usually restricted to "wise Asian" roles, and Renee Adoree was adorable, and Adrienne Ames was very sexy. But The Three Stooges had the longest contract in the history of Columbia Pictures. The shorts were getting huge ratings via TV re-runs. Did the "Hall of Fame" need to be convinced by sales of VHS tapes and DVDs after Moe was dead?

By the time The Three Stooges got their star, the only ex-Stooge at the ceremony was Joe Besser.

The only reason they even GOT a star is that Stooge fans ponied up the money to pay for it.

The dirty little secret about the "Hollywood Walk of Fame" is that it's a con game. A hokey "Board of Directors" holds up the artists or the studios for ransom.

You've heard of vanity publishing? This is a vanity tourist trap.

Does the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame demand payment from inductees? Of course not. The Academy Awards doesn't send a bill to the winners, saying, "Your statue cost us $400 to make out of pewter." But the "Hollywood Walk of Fame," which brings huge bucks to all the souvenir shops that line the sidewalks, and brings in a fortune in taxes on that junk, now DEMANDS $30,000 payment.

I was surprised that Carrie Fisher didn't have a star already.

You'd think the "Star Wars" franchise would've been happy to pay the $30,000. Or did George Lucas and his pals figure Carrie should've reached into her purse and paid for this ego boost?

Variety just reported that even though she's now deceased, she can STILL be nominated for a star, and get a star. BUT...somebody has to come up with the $30,000.

These days, the "Hollywood Vanity Sidewalk" is littered with mediocre names who bought their way in.

I've checked the nomination procedure. Foremost, these hucksters want to know that IF the nomination is approved, $30,000 will be paid. The person doing the nominating has to put MONEY where that mouth is.

Let's take a look at some of the mediocre idiots who have a star on the "Hollywood Vanity Sidewalk."

Scanning the B-list of names beginning with that letter, there's:

....crappy pop jerks The Backstreet Boys and Boys2Men, irritating radio tenor Kenny Baker, hack director William "One Shot" Beaudine, TV soap opera guy John Beradino, pudgy and annoying sports announcer Chris Berman, unreal "Big Bird" a muppet, Jimmy Boyd the pest who sang "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus," earache Teresa Brewer, mildly amusing C&W sidekick Smiley Burnette, one of many many purveyors of boring traveling and animal documentaries Bill Burrud, the uninteresting LeVar Burton, and the woman who played Oliver Hardy's shrewish wife in a few L&H shorts Mae Busch.

Carrie Fisher should've been nominated long ago, and approved. And the city of Los Angeles should've been for her star.

I could list dozens if not hundreds more: disc jockeys, quiz show hosts, one-hit wonders, odious producers who mostly chased actresses around desks, and other egomaniacs who PAID THE $30,000 to tell the world they matter. Yes, Donald Trump has his star, for hosting a stupid reality TV show.

The sad thing isn't that some geeky bunch will have go on GOFUNDME to make sure their precious Princess Leia gets the star they think she should have, but that there actually are dozens upon dozens of STARS who not only deserve the honor, but could benefit from it. Fisher was a star with or without the Hollywood Walk of Fame, but there are others, no longer working who'd like to be remembered as they drift off into the D-list obscurity of Facebook. They'd like to be validated. They'd like to be able to not just say, "I had a hit TV show in the 60's" or "I had a few singles that topped the charts in the 70's," but..."I have a STAR in the Hollywood Walk of Fame."

For many, $30,000 is just too much money. Some of them only get social security, and to help pay the rent they rely on tottering to a memorabilia show a few times a year. There, they get $20 to sign a photo for some fat goof who smells like a sidewalk in Weehawken, New Jersey.