JAMES CORDEN: MAKING FUN OF WOMEN IS STILL OK

It's the 21st Century. We've retired Minstrel Acts.

As everyone from Ted Danson to Rachel Dolezal has realized, "blacking up" or pretending to be black is considered offensive and degrading.

Danson turned up at party alongside Whoopi Goldberg, and his "blackface" was a scandal. Dolezal, apparently spending a little too much time in a tanning salon, tried to pass for a black woman and even got a job that somehow involved being a spokeswoman for the rights of black people. She got fired when the truth came out.

Rachel still doesn't get it, but the rest of the sane planet doesn't want it. Today, she's in the news for being banned...which is what CBS should be doing with Corden.

The Baltimore Book Festival invites people to come and enjoy themselves, but not at the expense of another race, religion or gender, and CBS should feel the same way, and tell Corden to stop his insulting portrayals of women.

Once considered to have the greatest voice in popular music, Al Jolson is almost unknown now, because he sang (sincerely) such songs as "Old Black Joe" and "Mammy."

In fact, "ethnic humor," especially if you are NOT a member of the group, is NOT acceptable. Guillermo on Jimmy Kimmel's show, si. Bill Dana as Jose Jimenez, NO. Does it matter that Bill Dana's performances had none of the ugly stereotyping that you'll find with quite a few Latino comedians who happily do jokes about being fat and drunk?

Blacks, Jews, Muslims, Gays, Latinos, Asians, Women...they've all said "Enough is ENOUGH" with unflattering and stereotypical depictions.

Then there's JAMES CORDEN.

CORDEN thinks it's HEEEEEEEE-LARIOUS to dress up as a SHE. We're not talking about RuPaul and his "Drag Race," where the idea is to closely resemble a female. We're not talking about the transvestite who needs to gratify a sexual urge. JAMES CORDEN does this to get LAUGHS. In other words, to make fun of women.

TO MAKE FUN OF WOMEN.

Why doesn't he dress up as a Muslim? Wouldn't that be a hoot?

How about an Asian? You mean, James, that the days of Warner Oland as Charlie Chan are OVER? Gosh. You think?

Why not a Latino? You mean, James, you believe that it's offensive if a non-Latino (such as Bill Dana) puts on an accent? We're talking about an ACCENT, James. Bill Dana didn't wear a sombrero or a big mustache, and much on Fritos.

How about a Jew, James?

Let's take a look at this photo:

It's our favorite puffy, pudgy, effeminate talk show host pointing to Seth Rogan in Jew drag.

Seth Rogan is not an Orthodox Jew. But hey, Orthodox Jews ARE funny looking, right? At least, if a Jew is dressing up as one?

You want to explain, Mr. Corden, why YOU didn't Jew it up in the picture? And have never put on the garb of an Orthodox Jew? Or an Orthodox Greek? Or a Muslim?

Why isn't that HEEEEEEE-LARIOUS? You only know SHEEEEEE-LARIOUS?

This James Corden guy seems to think that wearing a bra is funny. Not a yarmulke? Or a burqa? Something's funny about women wearing bras in their daily lives, but you wouldn't pose wearing a yarmulke? Or a turban?

There he goes again. And again. And again. And again.

James Corden's sidekick, Reggie Watts? Come now, James. The huge Afro? Isn't THAT heeeeee-larious?

Hmmm. Maybe that's OFFENSIVE. Putting on an Afro wig would be OFFENSIVE. Trying to be REGGIE WATTS would be perceived as offensive, especially if you did it in front of him.

James Corden would instantly reject a writer's idea for him to dress up in blackface and sing "Mammy" or "Swanee."

Why isn't THAT heeeeeee-larious, James?

A better question remains, why is it that every minority, every racial group, every religious group, every sexual group, gets respect but not women?

A big, long, loud discussion would involve ANY comedian doing gags about Muslims, Blacks, Gays, Lesbians, Asians, etc. etc. But James Corden goes for the cheap laugh again and again and again.

He insists he is not a homosexual, and he insists he is not a transvestite or crossdresser, whose sexual need for dress up would be protected from ridicule. Corden wouldn't dress up as Caitlyn Jenner, the transsexual. That would be...CRUEL?

But women?

Corden is the only comedian who thinks wearing a bra is hilarious. He's the only comedian who thinks being a woman is a great visual joke.

Nobody watches Milton Berle anymore. His drag comedy is as insultingly stupid as Eddie Cantor's blackface. Joe Besser couldn't get away with a "sissy" act now. TV stations shy away from running Peter Seller as an Indian in "The Party," and a film such as "Gunga Din," which praised a heroic Indian (played by a Jewish actor) and cautioned against religious extremists, is practically unknown to anyone under 50.

The antics of "Amos and Andy" or "Cohen on the Telephone" are unknown now not because the jokes aren't funny, but because the ethnic and religious characters are considered offensive.

Some things are dated, and in the 21st Century, making fun of women should be done sparingly, and with wit, and James Corden fails on both counts.

There aren't many men who bother with drag anymore, but the ones who did (such as the Monty Python members) were satirizing a particular type of woman. Jimmy Fallon satirizes Millennial girls in a way similar to the old drag parodies of Valley Girls. The half-retired "Dame Edna" is an empowering figure who says things as a woman that are devastatingly sharp and satirical, and not intended to demean women at all. "Dame Edna" doesn't walk around in a bra for a laugh.

Smith of the Briscoe Center - the Black Dido

Marian Anderson, check.

Leontyne Price, check.

Grace Bumbry, check.

Most anyone with a passing interest in classical music, or opera, would know those names. Maybe an ordinary "Smith" just wasn't catchy enough? Maybe her particular racial controversy wasn't powerful enough to stay in the national headlines. It seems a bit odd that a woman who performed for a U.S. President and a Pope didn't have more of an impact. Where was the major record label deal, or the big TV documentary about her life?

Nobody called her, er, uh, the Queen Latifah of Opera? Or something like that? Look at this...

Barbara Smith (August 11, 1937 – May 22, 2017) was supposed to perform the role of Dido in a student opera production of "Dido and Aeneas" at The University of Texas at Austin. This was 1957, and the idea of a black woman on stage in opera was a bit too much in the South, especially when she was singing opposite a white student playing Aeneas. The major protest came from a Democrat, Joe Chapman, who felt Smith's presence would be rocking the boat too much, and be "bad publicity" for the University, and cause a loss of funding.

The feeble excuse drew enough ire to have Chapman burned in effigy, and Civil Rights-oriented stars such as Sidney Poitier and Harry Belafonte coming to her defense.

She rose above the controversy to remain at the University and earn her B.A., and then, discovering there was already a Barbara Smith in show business, she became Barbara Smith Conrad (using her father's first name). She embarked on an impressive, but not star-shimmering career. Part of it may have been that she had to divide her time between performing and the more mundane way of making a living; teaching voice.

The mezzo-soprano performed with the Houston Grand Opera and Pittsburgh Opera, which wasn't going to get her signed to RCA Victor or anything. In 1977, age 40, she was cast as Marian Anderson in a made-for-TV movie, "Eleanor and Franklin: The White House Years." By the time she made it to steady work in productions at the Metropolitan Opera, she was 45. By then, there were quite a few black opera singers around and issuing solo albums. Barbara appeared in a Met production of "Porgy and Bess," but Grace Bumbry was the one playing Bess. She retired from the Met in 1989 and once again devoted most of her time to teaching at the Manhattan School of Music.

Barbara Smith Conrad did turn up at a few semi-high profile events in her 50's and 60's. In 1987 she was invited by President Reagan to perform at Lady Bird Johnson's 75th Birthday. Eight years later, she was one of the performers at a gala honoring Pope John Paul II.

Smith was somewhat rescued from obscurity by the Briscoe Center for American History, which is part of her alma mater, the University of Texas at Austin. In 2010 the Briscoe Center created a documentary about her called "When I Rise," which was screened at a variety of indie film festivals that year. So thanks to the Briscoe folk, Smith's legacy lives on via film. Not that it's an easy film to find on VHS or DVD.

Paypal Sues over ITS Intellectual Property - while Ignoring EVERYONE ELSE'S

Call it...hypocrisy.

The giant company PAYPAL, which hides most of its employees behind Scientology-like compounds, and loves to use form letters to be evasive, is WHINING about PANDORA.

Yeah. PAYPAL. One of the richest companies in the world, one that pretends it isn't still the Twisted Sister of EBAY. PAYPAL, where you can't talk to a helpful human being, just robotic morons in "phone support" who get rid of you with a cheerful "not to worry" or "I will escalate this for you" which is really "I'm getting you off the phone, and in a few days you'll realize you've gotten NO satisfaction." Both PayPal and eBay phone support pull this trick: "let me transfer you..." to nowhere.

Paypal and eBay both have "ASK" features on Twitter. The trouble is that the people you are ASKING via ASKPAYPAL and ASKEBAY are just like phone support. They have NO power. They can't do A DAMN THING except say "Not to worry."

What, they worry? PAYPAL WORRIES... about Pandora's LOGO.

What DOESN'T worry PayPal, is when it's sister company eBay allows bootleggers to get dozens of identities and keep robbing and cheating rights owners. That would include the Sri Lanka cartel that regularly offers their $2.99 and $3.99 illegal PDF and EPUB and MOBI copies of best selling books:

PAYPAL supposedly will look at any website using its logo (including eBay) and cut off sellers who are illegal. No, they do NOT do that. Especially not on eBay. Especially not the Sri Lanka cartel of parasitic pests.

Ask phone support why they allow Sri Lanka bootleggers to not only get fresh accounts, but even pretend to be in America (note the creep on the right, who wrote "New York" as his location) and you get "er, uh, hmm..."

A big excuse at PayPal and eBay is "we have SO many websites, so many auctions..." and, aw, not enough personnel? Two of the wealthiest, most successful websites in the world? Awwwwww.

Paypal has actually defended a counterfeiter on eBay by saying, "We contacted him and he said the item is legitimate."

This was one of those "dupe mill" creeps who grabs any movie star photo he can find, and copies it off for $5.99 or $9.99 or $10.99 including shipping.

Neither eBay nor PayPal will ask, even after several movie studios or performers have filed takedowns, for a seller like this to supply even ONE licensing agreement. Nah, let the creep continue offering counterfeit garbage, and NOT EVEN SAY it's a reproduction. A lot of these parasites pretend what they offer is real.

That's like the dupe photo creeps who sell Photoshop fakes of actresses acting as if their images of Taylor Swift and Ariana Grande posing naked are real.

Just last month, after eBay shut the auction down (again) on a parasite who was selling dupes, PayPal REJECTED the bidder's request for a refund.

Why? "You didn't send the photo back." "But the photo is COUNTERFEIT." "Sorry, our RULES say you MUST send the photo back." "Your rules say NO SUCH THING." "If you'd like me to escalate your claim, I'll be glad to do that. Not to worry..." Ha ha, that got the bidder off the phone. Without a refund.

A week later, the bidder calls back: "You've told me you understand the item is counterfeit, but NOW I got an email saying that you spoke to the dealer, who tells you it's authentic. So I don't get my money back." "Yes, well, the seller said it is legitimate." "Yes, but eBAY told you it was NOT, and eBay removed it. Why believe the seller and not eBay?" "We are not affiliated with eBay."

A week later, and eBay says: "We can't refund you because PayPal won't allow it. Your dispute is with PayPal. They handled the financial transaction. Have a nice day." A week later: "Sorry, time has run out. If you don't file within 30 days we can't help you." "But I spent the past 30 days arguing with EBAY and PAYPAL." "Sorry!"

And: "We have a rule, SNAD, which is "Significantly Not as Described." The seller did NOT say in the ad that his item was REAL or ORIGINAL, therefore we can't rule in your favor." "But eBay removed it as counterfeit. Also, there's nothing in your drop-down menu EXCEPT two reasons for a refund: a) it didn't arrive or b) it's not as described." "Sorry!" "Can I quote your own rules to you? You tell sellers: 'You will not receive a refund on your PayPal Fees...if you lose a SNAD Claim because we, in our sole discretion, reasonably believe the item you sold is counterfeit. You will be required to provide a full refund to the buyer and you might not receive the item back from the buyer."

"Err, uhhh...sir, I will escalate the problem for you."

"Do you AGREE with your own rules? Can you give me a refund? Can you patch me through to somebody who will right now, AGREE with us, and go into the seller's bank account and withdraw the money and REFUND ME?"

"Uhh, all I can do is escalate this." "Meaning I get a form letter a day later denying my claim? You want me to go through more hoops? Have you heard of KAFKA? Do you know this is KAFKA-ESQUE???"

There's a website called PAYPALSUCKS, because, well, how would you describe a company that behaves this way?

PAYPAL supports bootleggers? Forgers? People who knowingly sell counterfeits and use three different eBay ID's to do it, or in the case of the Sri Lanka cartel, FORTY eBay ID's?

How about visual rape and the hatred of women? Supposedly eBay and PayPal don't allow 'offensive materials,' or material that degrades any race or religion or a minority such as gays or lesbians. But women? Oh, GO AHEAD.

Yet PAYPAL goes to court to bitch and moan about a vague similarity to the Pandora logo. A VERY VAGUE similarity. That's how PAYPAL spends its money.

What do Tweeters think?

PayPal should be obeying Federal law. They'd rather ignore Federal law and coddle THESE two sellers:

The images are, of course, not censored in eBay's "everything else; adult" category. According to Federal law, you can't sell porn without a signed model release of age and consent. According to PayPal, they don't allow obscenity. But call them up on this, and a shocked zombie will say "Oh, not to worry, this IS against our rules, I will escalate this," and nothing happens.

Contact aup@paypal.com and you get a form letter telling you that you didn't submit the complaint the way PayPal likes it.

Go through the hoops, log in, and point them to these utterly offensive sellers who are degrading and abusing women in obscene ways, and NOTHING HAPPENS.

But PAYPAL goes after Pandora for some little whiny-bitch complaint about their PP and Pandora's P.

Pathetic?

PAYPAL routinely ignores their own Terms of Service, routinely interprets their own rules in their favor, and you can literally spend an hour talking to a robot in phone support and prove that you're right, only to have the person REFUSE to do anything about your case. "Patch me through to a real lawyer in your legal department?" "No, sorry." "Rule in my favor RIGHT NOW and assure me of a refund that I can find by email?" "Er, no." "Gonna send me one of your nasty form letters?" "Ahh, hmmm...."

PayPal would rather not take the time to match up bank accounts and find out how 40 Sri Lankan bootleggers have gotten on eBay in the past few months.

PayPal would rather not refund anyone who has bought a counterfeit item, and instead say "return the counterfeit for a refund" (so somebody else can get stuck).

PayPal would rather not suspend the accounts of pornographers who abuse, degrade and defile women in the most offensive, misogynistic ways possible.

But Pandora using THEIR color blue?

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH.

Sad, Nerdy, Foolish, Gullible, Lonely? JOIN A FACEBOOK GROUP!

Censoring the news...the only way to make it worth reading.

A Writer Goes Out the Window

Here's a bit of black humor, courtesy of a doorman.

Right, Pedro. She didn't go out much, but when she did, people sure noticed.

Actually, typical of writers and fame, nobody noticed at first. The reports first stated that "a woman" had jumped, and traumatized some people because one of her legs got severed on the balcony on which she landed.

Later, as you see from the above, the online newspapers mentioned that a somebody who knew Norman Mailer and Joan Didion had died.

Oh...turns out she knew John Waters, too. And up till about ten years ago, was a social butterfly seen at some very exclusive parties.

A few local websites had somebody in editorial noting that, coincidentally, this was the same building where Anderson Cooper's brother had jumped to his death years ago.

Ultimately, and slowly, the reports identified the woman as Jean Stein...THE Jean Stein, who had written "EDIE," with the help of another Upper East Sider, George Plimpton.

But as you see, at first she was just a "nice person who doesn't go out too much," but when she does...uses the window.

update:

'Tis Pity ESPN has No Balls. These gutless worms have no respect for the English language

The word, ESPN, is WHORE.

It's a "bad" word? Really?

The word WHORE goes, as Chris Berman would say, "BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK" a long time.

"'Tis Pity She's a Whore" was performed at, pardon the expression, the COCKPIT THEATRE in England in 1633.

Despite what some feminist cunts might think, WHORE is a fine word. It's an earthier version of PROSTITUTE, that's all. And yet, on ESPN's boxing website, it was censored!

BOXING. How often, in telecast boxing matches, do corner men yell out four-letter words? These go right out over Box Nation, Spike, CBS, NBC and every other channel that broadcasts this stuff.

Oooh, ooh, wait a minute ESPN, you pussies, is it OK to say "BOX Nation?" You know that BOX has another meaning!

Kell Brook was talking about how much of a media WHORE the mere Khan is. And he is.

Let's also note, in case you've forgotten about "Midnight Cowboy," that men can be whores, too.

Brook was referencing the Kardashian clan. You remember them. It all began when Kim Kardashian, a nobody whose father was one of O.J. Simpson's FOUR lawyers, appeared on a "leaked" porn video. PORN.

Is there anybody who doesn't know what Kim Kardashian did to become famous?

Sal Marchiano who once called boxing matches, described the happiest sight being Bristol, Connecticut in his rear view mirror. He was not a fan of that small town and the small-minded idiots of ESPN who built their headquarters there. He was fired.

ESPN has made the news recently for firing a lot of very good reporters, and keeping on some brainless loudmouths who are MEDIA WHORES and get attention just by saying stupid shit.

Now this. I find it OFFENSIVE to see the word WHORE censored into w----. As if we don't know what w---- means.

The late great dirty comedienne Pearl Williams once bitched at a ringsider, "You don't like dirty words?? If yer so refined, how come ya know what I'm sayin'?"

ESPN, let's put it as simply as possible. What you did is fucked up.

If Karnak was still around...

To XXXX the Truth

Oh, here's two fine examples of symbolism. It's the human condition, and BEAUTY, juxtaposed against a sign involving TRUTH.

How would a NY Times or New Yorker critic describe it? Something involving tropes and zeitgeist.

It goes beyond a gymnast demonstrating her balance beam abilities for the panel on the old quiz show "To Tell the Truth."

I consider these two images to be works of art. I'm thinking of transferring them to canvas, and offering them to the Whitney Museum of Art, so they can exhibit them right next to Warhol and Lichtenstein.

First we have XXXX Truth. The lady obscures the sign. And the other one, well, To ---- The Truth. With your crotch.

Orson Bean and Tom Poston know what's going on. It's all about Truth and Beauty.

Thieving News Sites Report on Conan O'Brien Joke Theft!

Wow, all those Newser Gawker Huffity-Puffity web sites ALL reported on Conan O'Brien being sued for plagiarism.

EVERY ONE OF THESE WEBSITES had reporters dig out the story on their own! Right?

The United Nations might as well have a Jolly Roger flag on its roof.

That's how prevalent plagiarism and piracy is today.

Plenty of websites and monetized blogs simply swipe and re-write everything from Associated Press, or one or two struggling veteran sites. (Some of these now beg you: "Please don't use ad-blocker, we need revenue" and "Please subscribe!")

You might remember Claude Rains in "Casablanca," being "shocked...SHOCKED..." at illegal activity...while collecting his winnings.

Fact is, most of the sites chirping and chattering about the Conan O'Brien case are all profiting from somebody else's work. All they did was re-write.

And that's pretty obviously what Conan's writers did. Wrong? Maybe, but understandable.

If your job is to find funny things to say about the day's news, you're going to check Newser, Gawker, Decider, Huffity-Puffity and the various crazies (NY Post, London Daily Mail). Then, maybe, you'll also glance at comedy websites, comedian Tweets, and even wisecracks from wise guys on Facebook.

Is that such a surprise? Lennon-McCartney would sit around saying "Let's write a Chuck Berry tune." Maybe they'd listen to a Buddy Holly number, steal a few chord changes, and come up with something original. Bob Dylan has famously defended plagiarism as part of the "folk tradition." That applies not just to his swiping of lines from a book and inserting them into a song lyric, but taking somebody's photographs and adapting them into paintings. Hell, even Bob's nemesis Joni Mitchell did that. She took a photo from National Geographic, of natives carrying a giant snake, and altered it for "The Hissing of Summer Lawns."

I once asked Jackie Mason if it bothered him that Don Adams stole, verbatim, some jokes and even recorded them. Jackie said he was surprised, but it wasn't such a big deal: "It didn't hurt me. They're buying our personalities."

True enough. The problem here, though, is that a guy who used to write jokes for Leno, and is now tossing them on a blog or on Twitter and hoping to get quoted or get work, gets a few of his jokes stolen (allegedly) instead. He should've been able to do what he (and others) did with Leno, Dangerfield and Rivers: email or fax the jokes and get paid as a freelancer for them.

As Sam Kinison said about wife beating, "I don't condone it...I UNDERSTAND IT!"

So, I'm not condoning Conan's staff for, perhaps (it's just an allegation now) re-writing somebody else's jokes now and then. But in these days, when YouTube is loaded with copied material, PayPal and its sister eBay traffic in dupe photos and every type of unlicensed and stolen property, and when news websites would rather steal and switch than pay staffers or Associated Press...IT HAPPENS.

Giving a bit of BLANK expression to today's News Headlines...

Stephen Colbert is the New Mort Sahl?

It seems people are considering Stephen Colbert the new Mort Sahl.

The timing is ironic.

Colbert now has the highest rating in late night TV, eclipsing Jimmy Fallon.

Mort hasn't even guested on late night TV since Letterman, Colbert's replacement retired. He only appeared once or twice, and the last time was 16 years ago.

Mort made his fame, and the cover of Time, when Eisenhower was president. He made many albums at the time. When Kennedy came to office, Mort made two albums. When Johnson was president: one. Nixon? One. In the past 30 years: none.

Colbert was born when Johnson was president. An irony is that Mort's birthday is May 11 and Colbert's is May 13th.

Colbert's estimated net worth is $45 million.

If you still have respect for Mort, you don't discuss his finances, or what the situation would be if Leno, Woody and others hadn't ignored Mort's personality and instead remembered and supported his undeniable genius and his pioneering style in stand-up.

Today's headline? Colbert and Trump. Did any President ever get into a battle with Sahl? Perhaps it's because back then, nobody took what went on at the Hungry i or on a Verve record too seriously.

Trump turned to Twitter to regularly complain about Alec Baldwin's impersonation of him. Trump actually attempted to sue Jimmy Kimmel. Bill Maher, who gave Obama a million dollar donation, is widely considered one of the "sons of Mort Sahl." And to his credit Seth Meyers actually attempted to book Mort, only for Mort to snub the scheduled booking with only a few days notice. Mort was not ill; he performed his regular gig in front of a few dozen people in Mill Valley a few days later.

Colbert and Maher have both published books.

It's safe to say NOBODY owns a book from the company that published Sahl's biography, and it will be hard to find in any bookstore.

Yesterday, less than a dozen people wished Mort a Happy Birthday, free on Twitter. A few dozen bothered to "like" Mort's Tweet about the publication of his book, timed to arrive for his 90th.

Meanwhile, the iconoclast Stephen Colbert has been the subject of #fireStephenColbert hashtag rage on Twitter, millions watch his show every night, and today's headlines are all about what Trump said about him, and his response.

Well, times change. Some don't remember Mike Nichols on stage and barely remember his credits as one of the nation's finest directors. They don't know what "phone routines" are, and how they made Berman and Newhart famous. They don't remember the headlines made between Jackie Mason and Ed Sullivan. Rappers who say "Nigga" don't own Dick Gregory's autobiography which shocked the world by its title. Lenny Bruce may still be a name Millennials have heard of but they couldn't tell you much about him. Lord Buckley? Will Rogers? The excuse CBS gave for firing the Smothers Brothers? Ancient history.

30 Sahl Fans Can't Be Wrong. But, Could be All

Look, when you're an iconoclast, you piss people off.

When you reach 90, most of your audience has most likely already died.

Or they have other priorities.

That's three reasons why fewer than 30 liked or loved or acknowledged Mort Sahl's birthday/book promo on Twitter.

Considering that political comedy is overloaded with Maher, Colbert, Bee, and another dozen (and that's just late night), and that Mort has made a habit of canceling shows and insulting even his most ardent supporters, it was not much of a surprise to squint to see those very few Tweets about him today.

Only two of Mort's pals posted pix of themselves with Mort, one of them using the past tense. You don't expect Woody Allen to be on Twitter, but it's embarrassing, the lack of interest from the comedy community. Even though Mort once wrote that he wanted to punch Allen in the face "but it looked like somebody beat me to it," Woody's regard for Mort as a comedy icon, led him to still agree to introduce him at what turned out to be Mort's last major venue appearance, at B.B. King's about a decade ago. Likewise, Dick Cavett, routinely back-handed by Sahl for being "America's idea of an intellectual," never took it personally. They are among the few apologists who would say that, to use a Poe phrase, "the ordinary temperament of genius" means that one can accept "moody misanthropy," and even insults or threats of violence.

Less than 500 people watch "The Last Man Standing" when his weekly hour is broadcast on the Net via something called "Periscope." The guy did perform on his birthday Thursday night.

The show is held at a tiny venue in Mill Valley run by a friend who sort of helps get him on stage. He has trouble walking even with a cane, and quickly sits down to talk to an audience of what seems like a few dozen people. Having the camcorder pan around to show the sparse audience was perhaps an unintentional stab at the truth of the man's dilemma.

Seeing the final total of viewers is pretty sobering. Here's a screen cap that shows Mort promoting the book. And yes, that number of viewers you see in the corner didn't get above 300 views. There are silly girls doing off-key cover versions of Taylor Swift songs on YouTube who get bigger numbers. There are guys unwrapping packages they got from Amazon who do better, along with opinionated guys in various basements discussing the PPV sports event they saw the previous night.

Technically, is Mort "The Last Man Standing?" Marty Allen at 95 still performs. Shelley Berman is with us even if he doesn't totter out to a tiny venue to prove it. And contemporaries (younger by only a few years) Bob Newhart, Dick Gregory and Jackie Mason are very much with us, too. Rickles, who reached 90 before Mort, passed on very recently, and was still doing Kimmel's show. Mort's last national late night shot was with Letterman 16 years ago.

Well, it's sad to note that some faint Tweets in cyberspace hardly meant anything considering the iconic birth date and the book combination, and one of them was from the man himself, holding up the authorized bio.