That's what Joan Rivers would say to Kathy Griffin, the Joan-pretender. Here's Kathy whining about sexism with her media-whore yenta lawyer by her side.
What a (bad) Joke this morning's performance was:
Joan used to say about Liz Taylor, "I didn't shove the food into her mouth!"
And it was Kathy Griffin, not sexist men, not Donald Trump, not other comedians, who thought it was a great idea to wave a severed effigy of Donald Trump, seeming to drip blood.
What I expected from Kathy Griffin, a 56 year old veteran of controversy, was to let her apology stand, take a while off, and let good ol' American ADD kick in. Attention Deficit Disorder.
OR...say "Fuck off," and take a while off. Being the center of a media shit-storm CAN be intimidating.
But crying? With a yenta lawyer in tow? Yech.
Together they played the vagina card: the sexist media only go after women!
Bill Cosby, contemporary of Joan Rivers, didn't play the race card when his gigs got canceled and he faced an uproar in the media. His situation was a lot worse than Kathy Griffin's. Cosby's entire career was wiped out and every booking. Griffin lost a few crappy shows in conservative idiot locations (like Staten Island).
Griffin, flanked by the most annoying media whore lawyer pest this side of Gloria Allred (the Cosby attack-witch, who happens to be Lisa Bloom's mama), sobbed that she was the victim.
"What's happening to me has never happened, ever in the history of this great country, which is that a sitting president of the United States and his grown children and the first lady are personally, I feel, personally trying to ruin my life forever."
Absolutely true.
Obama didn't try to ruin her life.
Dubya Bush didn't try to ruin her life.
Neither of them were victimized by her with decapitation photos, either.
Griffin's yapster lawyer chimed in:
"Trump does not realistically fear 56-year-old, 110-pound Kathy Griffin. Kathy Griffin and Donald Trump are not equals; he is the president of the United States."
In that case, counselor, what IS your case? Trump does not fear Kathy Griffin, ergo, Trump is not out to "ruin" her life.
"He broke me! He broke me!" the funny lady sobbed, with her lawyer standing alongside, checking the script.
Millionaire comedienne, broke? I think not.
You know Bloom? She's stood alongside Amanda Seyfried and Mischa Barton over leaked nude images on the Internet. She got a lot of publicity, but she didn't seem to bother going after porn websites or eBay for takedowns of this junk.
Griffin insisted it's all about sexism:
"Cut the crap, this wouldn't be happening to a guy — this is a woman thing."
Male comedians never get clobbered for a joke gone wrong? Tell that to Kinison when his gay necrophilia jokes got him in trouble. Tell it to Gilbert Gottfried when his tsunami gag cost him a six figure job as the Aflak schmuck. Er, duck. Ask Bill Maher when his jokes got him canned at ABC, and more jokes got people in a fury at HBO. Hey Bill, you can't tell a truthful joke about Down Syndrome kids. Carlin faced jail time over mere "words."
Griffin: "I'm not afraid of Donald Trump. He's a bully. I've dealt with older white guys trying to keep me down my whole life — my whole career."
Then, as "Dice" might say, shut the fuck up, BITCH.
What's in your bowl, BITCH? Why hold a press conference crying about being a female victim, if you're not afraid of Tweets from Trump?
Mixed messages here.
Kathy could've handled the manner like...oh, an ex-quiz show contestant named Ken Jennings.
Ken mocked the idea that Trump's son was traumatized. When Trump Junior huffed, Ken gave a satiric puff.
As Judge Wapner used say, "Ma'am, what are your damages?"
Trump hasn't done anything but Tweet. That a few venues decided not to book her can't be directly attributed to him. Thousands of Trump supporters have roared their rage at Griffin on Twitter.
A portable toilet company said bye-bye to endorsing Potty Mouth Kathy? Tough shit. CNN banned her from the next New Year's Eve show? That's one night.
Without naming names, there was a female comedian who got into trouble with alleged pedophile behavior. She didn't hold a press conference to scream that she was a victim of sexism. She apologized quietly and the incident has been forgotten. She's very prominent on a radio show now, and continues to tour wherever she pleases. Anyone remember when Sarah Silverman was being harassed by an Asian man for telling an un-PC joke? Sarah didn't lawyer up. The incident was soon forgotten.
"I don't think I will have a career after this," Griffin sobbed. "I'm going to be honest, he broke me — he broke me."
Can you Bill Cosby crying "He broke me, he broke me," at the creepy D.A. who decided to prosecute him nearly ten years after the preceding D.A. called the case SETTLED?
Did Sam Kinison cry "He broke me," because Elton John criticized Sam's gay jokes?
Sad that Kathy and/or her lawyer decided tears and whining (feminine wiles) were the best way to deal with Trump's idiocy.
Comedians who are encouraged to be weird or edgy, are often sincerely bewildered when the love and applause they crave turns to scorn. But they have to have their considerable wits about them, and know how to handle it all.
"Going too far" happens. You apologize or you don't. But you don't lawyer up and pretend to be victimized for having a vagina.
Howard Stern and his gunfire gag on a dead Latina singer? He did not get a pass because of his (small) penis ownership.
This has been brewing for a while...
In a month or two, Kathy Griffin will once again be wandering around clubs big or small, mentioned in the same breath with Amy Schumer or Samantha Bee or Chelsea Handler. She will certainly be able to work the places Judy Tenuta does. And does anyone remember when Judy would put her fingers to her eyes, pull them into Asian "slant" mode, and make fun of Yoko Ono? "If that guy had aimed a little to the right, HE WOULD HAVE BEEN A HERO." That's a joke about shooting a woman, and wishing she was dead instead of her husband.
Most of the time, you go too far and you get away with it.
No comments:
Post a Comment