Look, mi AMIGO, it's very PC of you to go to PUERTO RICO to try and find a suitable "MARIA" for your re-make. PERO...
QUE LASTIMA, Rabbi Spielberg, you are NOT LATINO. Aiiiii POPI. You don't KNOW that LATINO experience. While it's nice that you won't make the hideous mistake of casting an ACTRESS to PLAY a Puerto Rican (Natalie Wood...aiiii aiiiii), YOU are NOT LATINO.
What's your answer to NOT being LATINO?
Whatever it is, it's not good enough.
Scarlett Johansson was going to play a trans woman in a film, and PC heads prevailed, and she was booted out on her actual VAGINA. The role will be played by somebody with a constructed one, and that's very important. The lesson here is that an ACTRESS shouldn't simply ACT a role because she's an ACTRESS.
So, likewise, Rabbi Spielberg, though in the past you GOT AWAY WITH IT...you're not an alien but you made "E.T." and "Close Encounters," enough IS enough. This is 2018. It's the #NOT ME TOO movement. If you are NOT a transsexual you can't play one, and if you're not a Latino you can't play one, and...if you are NOT a Latino what in the world are you doing producing and/or directing "West Side Story?"
"West Side Story" should be directed by Guillermo del Toro. Thank Jesus (pronounced HAY-SEUSS) that he didn't have to call himself William Bull to get work in Hollywood. Things ARE changing, but they must change COMPLETELY.
Un momento. ONE MORE THING. When "West Side Story" is being filmed with the appropriate LATINA starring as MARIA...the music MUST GO.
Rabbi Spielberg, you DO know who wrote the score for "West Side Story" don't you? Rabbi Bernstein wrote the music. Rabbi Sondheim wrote the words. Aiiiiii two more JEWS.
We know, in this PC age, that JEWS can not possibly know the experience of living in a slum or ghetto. That they can't possibly be authentic. What's that line: "Maria...say it soft and it's almost like praying." Huh? The woman's name is MARIA, not ADON OLAM.
Here's what MUST be done: Hire that genius Lin-Manuel Miranda. He IS PUERTO RICAN.
It was a shameful tragedy that Lin-Manuel Miranda had to become famous via RAP music and a musical about WHITE guys like Alexander Hamilton. Oh, he did his best, and he was dutifully given every honor under the sun. But that was just to encourage him to DO BETTER. Leave the BLACK MUSIC behind. Leave the WHITE guys behind.
We are all willing to look the other way when a Puerto Rican turns White historical figures into ethnic rappers...but let's NOT keep up this insanity of allowing WHITE people to play Latinos, or anything but, strictly speaking, WHITE people. (PS, Scarlett needs to change her first name.)
"DIVERSITY" is not having WHITE people playing people "of color." ("Of color" by the way, is much, much difference than saying "colored." Please consult the PC rule book, page 384980234.)
Say, wasn't it wonderful when the off-Broadway revival of "St. John" starred a WOMAN OF COLOR? We know Joan of Arc was "of color." If she wasn't, she could be. The bending of the PC rule on page 384980234 does have a footnote that says: "It IS PC if somebody black plays somebody white, but not the other way around.")
The remake of "WEST SIDE STORY" needs LATINA and LATINO performers playing the lead, Del Toro directing, Miranda offering new music...and, come to think of it, let's call this thing "Cuento de Lado Oeste."
Gracias.
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