Shed Few Tears for The Onion

"Giant burrito to solve all of Area Man's problems for 6 precious minutes."

Har har har.

That's the lead article for THE ONION.

If you think NPR radio is exciting, and anything "Sedaris" a scream, then you had to laugh over the Giant Burrito.

This article was quoted as one of the many knee-slappers you WON'T be able to get off one of those eyesore kiosks on the sidewalk. See, THE ONION is going all digital.

Well...tragedy is comedy with no more time left.

Ye of little real sense of humor, shed a tear for the print version of THE ONION, the freebie newspaper that has been dolefully doling out hilarious "fake news" for 25 years.

The publishing industry has been going through what they call a "sea change." To give you an idea of just how badly the publishing industry is doing, the phrase "sea change" continues to be used. Such is the lack of imagination and literacy...and the inability to pay anyone to come up with a better phrase.

Bozo Bezos over at Amazon is squeaking his red rubber nose at the thought of even more Kindle sales, and who knows, one day I might actually buy some kind of "reading device" or one of those half-size tablets, and be another monotonous mug on the bus, staring at a retina-killing screen...with one lazy eye wandering to check if there's anybody nearby who might steal it. I wouldn't hear 'em coming, since my ears would be Bose-plugged against a cell phone shouter and screaming baby (usually the same person)

At the risk of being called a Luddite and having to look up the word to check if it's really an insult, I think a newspaper should BE a newspaper. Even if it's called The Onion. I think you should be able to read something without wasting electricity. Also, if you don't like something in a newspaper, you can ball it up with your fist. You can have the satisfaction of tossing it in the trash, and maybe even telling someone else that you don't get a belly laugh just because somebody used the phrase "giant burrito."

How many more magazines and newspapers will join the Christian Science Monitor, The Onion, etc. etc. in offering just a "digital" ephemeral publication? And spending more attention on maybe a video game version, or just a set of tweets? And let's not forget that today's anime and meme crowd like an EDGY name...so out goes Newsweek and instead, get your link to THE DAILY BEAST. Arrrrrggh!

Say, that would be so funny, dudes...change The Onion to....Arrrrrggh!