Hey, Associated Press, how...OLD...is...JERRY LEWIS??

It's sad that what's left of the working press has become as slipshod and ridiculous as Gawker, Decidr, Huffity-Puffity Post, Buzz Fart and the rest.

Associated Press, which is where the others get and re-write their "news," reported on an investigation into the Friars Club.

The article did NOT offer much of a clue on what was going on or who was involved.

The Friars Club hasn't been too relevant since Henny Youngman and Milton Berle passed on. Most of the members are accountants, dentists, landlords, and other schmucks who want to pretend they're in show biz. So they invest in a deli, get first row tickets to shows, and lox around the Friars Club waiting to glimpse Gilbert Gottfried.

What possible star-crime could be involved here?

Surveillance cameras caught Jeff Ross emptying handfuls of potato salad into his pockets?

There was NO quote from any celebrity, just a line from the human Blobfish, John Cats-on-my-Titties, real estate creep and Gristedes owner. Most any editor would've said, "Hold off till we find out MORE."

Then, in explaining what the hell the Friars Club is (and for the past 20 years, it's just a place where rich Blobfish can sit around drinking and pretending they're in show biz), AP mentioned the 95th Birthday party for Jerry Lewis.

As of this writing, Jerry is 90.

PS, see if you can tell which one is the landlord who actually ran for Mayor of NYC (Conservative, Republican), and which one is the Blobfish (Green Party).