I COULD IMAGINE SUCH A THING.
It seems that some are doubting this sad revelation. Like, Munchkins could be DRUNK, but don't say the little bastards were pervs, too!
Sid Luft, once married to Judy (hence, Lorna Luft), died way back in 2005 without completing his memoirs. They've been found, edited, polished, and...apparently disbelieved. Yes, the same trailer-park denizens who believe in UFO's don't believe in perverted Munchkins.
There are people stalking Wal-Mart who believe nobody ever walked on the moon, and no children were killed by Adam Lanza, and the World Trade Center's destruction was an "inside job," but...perverted MUNCHKINS? NO! NO! HELL NO!
"How can we watch The Wizard of Oz over and over and over again, thinking that the Lollipop Guild had their sticky fingers up against Dorothy's panties?"
The denial of this holocaust is based on pure logic: Judy Garland NEVER mentioned that she had to guard her little toto against the Munchkins. She did recall them this way: "They were drunks. They got smashed every night and the police used to scoop them up in butterfly nets."
But that just makes 'em good ol' little boys.
Now? Who IS this Luft guy? Is it better to have Luft...and lost our innocent view of Munchkins? Isn't it better not to have Luft at all??
"They thought they could get away with anything because they were so small," Luft wrote. "They would make Judy’s life miserable on set by putting their hands under her dress. The men were 40 or more years old."
What a tragedy for white bread eating rednecks who grin lustily over songs with lines like "She was only sixteen..." Hell, for Jerry Lee Lewis, that's OLD.
The Luft-Garland union was one of her longer engagements (1952-1965). It's not possible that in those 13 years, she didn't mention her dislike for the Munchkins? People want to doubt that Luft, with nothing better to do, began writing a chronicle of his life for posterity? Or that if he made stuff up about the poor Munchkins, or his craven ghost-writer did??
I can't vouch for Sid on this one. My friend Bobby Cole actually had an affair with Judy. He was her orchestra leader for a while, and took over for Mel Torme as the musical arranger on the short-lived "Judy Garland Show."
If she told him about touchy-feely Munchkins, he didn't tell me. He told me some other amusing things, but no small details about her days on the set of "The Wizard of Oz." Still, we know all about her drugs, her enjoyment of anal sex, her passionate nature...nothing seems to be off-limits in a discussion of her often tragic life. But...it seems we draw the lines at sullying MUNCHKINS.
They're all dead. They can't stand up for themselves. In fact when they were around, you could hardly see 'em if they DID stand up for themselves. Still, I tend to believe they were not only drunk, but drunk and horny.
At least nobody said Margaret Hamilton was copping a feel. I met Ms. Hamilton at a Laurel & Hardy "Sons of the Desert" banquet and she was a sweet old lady.
And if somebody said Judy had a roll in the hay with the Scarecrow, or was the reason the Tin Man had a heart-on, I'd say that person was indulging in cowardly lyin'.
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