The dumbed down DAILY NEWS website not only had two very pointless photo features on their "front page," they couldn't even come up with adjectives to explain a bikini or a hairstyle.
Any surviving writers over there must be rocking a pair of aspirin. Linda Stasi? Gersh Kuntzman? They wouldn't use a boring adjective would they? Even to rock a paycheck? Even if meant they could be rocking a front page byline instead of being buried deep on the rocking website?
There was a time when the FRONT PAGE of a newspaper featured important news. An ex-first lady's hairstyle is important? A middle aged model no longer part of the lipstick vogue? They ROCK?
Maybe they do, if their publicists need to be rocked. That's part of the game. You coddle certain powerful PR companies so that when it comes to giving you face time to Gigi Haddiddly or one of the Kardashians, you can say, "Did you read where I claimed your clients "ROCKED" ordinary looking hairstyles and swimsuits??"
The important thing with the Michelle Obama splash is to LOOK AT THE VIDEO. You've noticed that Millennials have no attention span, so when a website page opens, a video instantly plays. OR, that's ALL you get. A VIDEO.
. The important thing with the Cindy Crawford picture is that the rocks a bikini (actually, she's wearing it, she isn't cradling it in her arms) so let's forget that without makeup she looks 60.
Duuuuuuuude, as any 20-soething at the London Daily Fail (er, Mail) could tell you, when a babe "rocks" an outfit, that's so much easier to, uh, pronounce. She doesn't dazzle, surprise, delight or entrance anyone. Those words are old, and have more than one syllable.
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