My problem with "NO PROBLEM"

"Thanks for holding the door for me."

"NO PROBLEM!"

Well, no, it shouldn't be a PROBLEM to hold onto a door. It's not rocket science, either.

"Wow, there was a sale on bananas, five for a dollar...and you bought five extra for me? Thanks, here's the dollar."

"NO PROBLEM!"

I know there's NO PROBLEM. What if I said, "Get me five apples for a dollar? THEN we'd have a problem.

Here's a typical idiotic Facebook post.

Among the ten or twenty thousand Laurel & Hardy fan groups on Facebook...

Somebody in the group takes a moment to do the bare minimum...post a YOUTUBE video that anybody could find if they really cared.

Out of courtesy, the moderator thanks the poster. And what does the poster do?

"NO PROBS!"

That's the kewl way of saying..."No Problem."

Whatever happened to shutting the hell up?

Whatever happened to answering "Thank you" with "Your welcome?"

Why say "NO PROBLEM" about something that IS NO PROBLEM?

Come to think of it, why say "No Problem" when it IS?

All you're doing is acting smug, as if what's a problem for someone else is NO PROBLEM for a genius such as yourself?

Look, if you want to use idioms and cliches, at least spread 'em around, ok?

"Thanks for taking out the garbage."

"A nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse!"

"An Altoid? Don't mind if I do, thanks."

"Bob's your uncle!"

And, sad but true, "NO PROBLEM" is usually said by somebody who really isn't doing anything helpful, remarkable or even useful, and is not putting himself out one bit.

"Can you roll off some toilet paper for me, and slip it under the door? There's none in this stall."

"You've got a problem."