Along with 60 virgins, a lot of sexually experienced goats, and fountains of hummus. Different flavors of hummus on different clouds. Oh, and clouds full of illegal music to listen to.
If you live on FACEBOOK, stream on FACEBOOK, die on FACEBOOK...you can still view comments on FACEBOOK. That would explain why people write to the DEAD on FACEBOOK. Like this: Today's news is about a joyrider who couldn't simply watch the scenery zip by as she rode along. She didn't want to talk to her companions either. No, she wanted to STREAM her ride on FACEBOOK. Hey look everyone, I'm in a car! Hey everyone, bet you never saw a woman in a car, before!
Well, never saw a woman crash and DIE in a car, before. Thanks. Another Internet first. Which is why it became news on the Internet.
Bad news? Maybe not if it's entertaining. We have a generation who only check out Internet news (not newspapers in the real world) for the "funniest" gross-out pictures ("Eww, a guy with half his face rotted by a disease...oh wow, religious fanatic throws acid in an infidel's face...meh another photo of a shark attack victim...). The good news, is that people can still write to the recently diseased on FACEBOOK. This must mean that, Good God, there's wi-fi for the dead that comes in no matter where you are in the hereafter.
Back at ya, girl!
There's nothing new about the FUN of FUNERALS. If something fatal has happened, some people will go online to make sure that if it's nearby, they can be part of the throng leaving a stuffed animal, a flower, or a candle at the death scene. "Will There Be a Mourning?"
There's no shortage of people (thousands actually) knee-jerking to GOOGLE to be the first to find the best suitable MEME for the sad occasion:
The Internet generation has lost touch with reality, or that real people are involved. It's just a feel-good moment to hoist a link to a sad song on YouTube and put it on the FACEBOOK page of the deceased for all to enjoy. FACEBOOK is the Zucker-Ouja-Board where you communicate with the beyond. And I'm talking about the GREAT BEYOND. Like, people who died and were using Netscape at the time.
. The article on the unfortunate girl who became famous for streaming her own fatal accident, quotes someone offering condolences...TO THE DEAD GIRL via FACEBOOK.
"I AM DEEPLY SORRY FOR WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU."
Everyone's famous for 15 seconds now, if they can boast that their TWEET or their FACEBOOK POST, got quoted in a news article. "I made it to NEWSER! DECIDER! BUZZ CANNIBAL!"
"I AM DEEPLY SORRY FOR WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU." The dead stranger may not respond, but you know why: FACEBOOK has rules about signing in from an ISP other than the one you usually use), but she READ IT. As long as it wasn't on REDDIT. Or Instagram. You know, Instagram is to FACEBOOK as Druidism is to Christianity.
You know what's sad? There's OTHER women with the same name. THEY may be getting a "SORRY YOU ARE DEAD" condolence and it just might kill them.
THIS one is still alive:
THIS one is, well, still getting direct correspondence. "I AM DEEPLY SORRY WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU..." and "RIP SWEETIE," etc.
The Internet. What interactive FUN. First, you can click a link and see the actual moment of death, and then you can bounce a meme, or type in "Tragic. RIP" with a little yellow sad face, or "Condolences!" THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT.
You know the eyewitness testimony whenever there's a wreck, killing or disaster? "It looked JUST LIKE A MOVIE. "
"How did it happen? I hope his suffering was small.
Tell me every detail, for I've got to know it all,
And do you have a picture of the pain?
(Phil Ochs - Crucifixion). More than pictures, now. Internet streaming.
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