The latest blow to evil straight white men, is this blowjob:
Yes, a headline on the front page of the NY POST.
Isn't this just too charming? Yes, it's beyon charming. It's ACE.
No, it's even...what's a word that's more gay than ACE? Ah...
It's FIERCE.
Isn't it nice to know that two asexual chunks of sponge actually fuck each other in the ass?
No, that's MORE than just nice.
It's FIERCE.
The answer here is that as long as two Muppets can come out as "gay," then this will help little boys and girls, "BORN THAT WAY," to feel good about themselves.
Gays, after all, are a viciously maligned minority. As opposed to, oh, JEWS.
Do we have a JEWISH Muppet?
"Big Bird" is not "Big Kosher Chicken."
At the Emmy Awards the other evening, the hosts declared that their intent was to NOT make cheap, stupid Liberal jokes about Trump, or take cheap shots at easy targets like Weinstein or Cosby as some other awards shows did. No, no mention of evil Les Moonves.
The thought was, "let's make this an AWARDS show, and honor people, and not try to use this as a platform to grimace and gripe about stuff."
You know what, nobody took a knee.
But hey hey hey, Bert and Ernie are HERE and they're QUEER! (As if there haven't been Bert and Ernie gay jokes for 20 years or more).
Gays (and Lesbians and transgenders) are still the minority du jour.
It's ok to make fun of Oscar De La Hoya (the NY Post called him a sex freak, and said he threw kinky, weirdo parties). He's a crossdresser. He wasn't BORN that way, he's sick in the head.
It's ok to make jokes about other peoples' sexuality...the whack-jobs who whack off while wearing leather, rubber or diapers. Let them remain stigmatized and feeling guilty.
Come to think of it, a lot of people are turned on BECAUSE they are feeling stigmatized and guilty. But let's not go there, girlfriend.
Likewise, Blacks remain the minority to feel sorry for. Take that knee, Colin. But don't change your name to Colin X, because that might sound like some kind of medication for a bowel condition.
Remember, briefly, when people cared about NATIVE AMERICANS and their rights? The Washington Redskins are still playing, and their racist owner still refuses to give in to common respect, and Kaepernick never took a knee about the dirty racism in his own sport.
But GAY MUPPETS! YESSSSS!
And what originality, too. There's never been a team of two men together, like Felix and Oscar or Stan and Ollie or Frick and Frack. It took over 30 years for anyone to luridly care whether two sponge puppets have sex with each other? Gee, hopefully Seseme Street will put in a few story lines about this, as 6 year-olds need to know.
Is it too late to find a writer who worked for Hal Roach Studios to proudly declare that having Laurel and Hardy in bed together was actually a subliminal message to homosexuals?
Maybe Bert and Ernie should wear pussy hats or rainbow flags or whatever. Definitely NOT wear a Star of David, though.
Jews are not the minority to feel sorry for (hey you, Harvey Weinstein, you too, Woody Allen...you never were charged but you can't make movies anymore!) Feel sorry for the Muslims. They've got a fine, fine religion, and just because it's the only one involved in mass bombings around the world, that's no reason to not welcome cloaked figures who have the notion that God is actually ashamed of the human body He created.
OK. Seseme Street CAN'T be totally diverse. They try. Their hunks of sponge come in a rainbow of colors.
There's hardly anyone white on that show, except The Count, and he's a vampire.
Know what would be radical? If Kermit the Frog slowly began to mutate, and lose his hands due to the polluted environment. He'd be like...you know...a REAL FROG.
But let's give The Muppets credit for acting as if frogs mate with pigs. (No, none of those Pete Davidson-Ariana Grande jokes.)
Inter-species sex may be bestiality to some, but it's fine on The Muppet Show, and always WILL be. SO THERE.
What you will NOT have to suffer is Miss Piggy converting to Judaism.
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