LOUISA MORITZ - SHE BLEW THE WHISTLE ON COSBY

Louisa Moritz has died at the age of 72.

There was Charo. There was Carol Wayne. Then, trying her best to get a passing grade beyond D-list, was Louisa Moritz.

As Moms Mabley used to say, "Say something good about the dead." You know the punchline to that one.

Let's not be Mabley about it, or Rufus Griswold (who penned the notoriously mean obit on his "friend" Poe). Let's be kind and say that Louisa was amusing in her various bimbo appearances. She knowingly followed the footsteps and bra straps of various others who played it blonde and dizzy. Original Louisa Castro, she re-named herself after the St. Moritz Hotel in New York.

She played whores in "The Man from ORGY" (1970) and "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" (1975) and "Sixpack Annie" (1975). She played a variety of other sluts and bimbos and airheads in films and on TV, and frankly, if the #metoo bunch had any clout, Moritz would be considered to women what Stepin Fetchit is to Blacks. An offensive stereotype. Except Moritz appealed not just to people who like denigration in their comedy, she appealed to all men who like to see a woman dress trashy and it doesn't matter if she makes them feel like LAUGHING or feel like doing something else.

Moritz was fun in some of these silly minor TV appearances. It takes some talent to, in Woody Allen's phrase complimenting Art Carney's Ed Nortion role, "play stupid." The actress attended the University of West Los Angeles, and claimed to have become an attorney who only PLAYED the fool for the cameras. As she said, "There are a lot of people out there trying to get anything, and if you're getting dumb blonde roles, hey, it's okay." Apparently as her looks faded, she relied on her legal training to make a living...with some memorabilia show appearances on the side.

The Latina blonde bombshell didn't quite make it to the exalted level of being known for saying "Coochie Coochie," ala Charo. On April Fools Day, 1969, she made her first appearance on Carson's "Tonight Show." Could she become Art Fern's permanent Matinee Lady? Well, she wasn't exactly Carol Wayne or Teresa Ganzel. Neil Simon and Jack Lemmon were the main guests. She turned up exactly four times after that. She appeared once more in 1969 when Joe Namath guest hosted (she was eye candy on a short-lived show Namath starred in). She turned up three times in 1971. Joey Bishop guest hosted (July 23). A month later (August 23rd) Johnny hosted and lothario Bob Crane was the main guest. On August 26th, with Joey Bishop guest-hosting again, she appeared along with Cliff Gorman and Kreskin.

Bill Cosby was not a guest on any of that handful of shows Moritz appeared on.

However, she contended that Cosby was hanging around "The Tonight Show" during one of those five tapings. Here's how she recalled it as quoted in US magazine:

What Cosby allegedly did was not any more arrogant or presumptuous than what dozens of other big stars did at the time, and presumably, are only NOW beginning to stop doing. He pushed his, uh, weight around.

Had Moritz ever been chased around a casting couch? Caught over and over? How did she break into show business playing prostitutes? How many times did she happily give it up because a producer, director or star suggested it might help her career? She didn't answer those questions when she joined the publicity parade against Cosby. Was it because it would've made her seem a tad trampy?

Playing the victim is one thing. Being the victim is another. In too many cases, in or out of show biz, the male has locked the door and there's nobody who will hear a sound. Or, the male has played a game with liquor or drugs. Or, a "consensual" encounter went wrong.

This incident happened in the green room of "The Tonight Show," and presumably, Moritz could have backed off, opened the door, told Cosby she had a cold sore, or done any number of things besides servicing him for a few moments.

If you believe her story, and there's no reason why one shouldn't, Cosby, a veteran of the Playboy mansion, and of women throwing themselves at him, was being dismissive and obnoxious. But it wasn't exactly non-consensual.

Women do know how to deal with men's advances. Not every actress has said YES to every film director or TV star, even when behind closed doors and under the familiar threat of "you'll never work in this town." Not every woman who has been the unfortunate victim of a flasher, has dropped her jaw and stayed put for abuse.

One reason Moritz's story wasn't reported all that often in the press, is that she was a professional actress who had played tawdry roles way too often. When the Cosby accusers began to line up, it was mostly women with serious complaints of being given pills without their knowledge. Some of the women were not in show business at all, just flattered at Cosby paying attention to them, or conducting business and not expecting a social drink to lead to a dimly remembered but peculiar morning after.

It's quite likely that some of the Cosby accusers did not welcome the added distractions of Moritz and a few other faded D-listers who seemed to be looking for publicity and a cash settlement to go away. At the time, the ex-actress was selling her autograph at dubious minor memorabilia shows, lucky to find some hapless drooling geek who remembered her in a movie and wanted to pay her $20 to sign a picture. Hopefully it wasn't just the money, but also the feel-good of being remembered, that made Moritz come back to these shows time and again.

Reporters who sighed and wrote up Moritz's rather sad little anecdote might have better spent their time investigating the death of Carol Wayne, which seemed to be a lot less consensual. Murder, in fact. Or they could've stayed with the chronicles of the more credible women who weren't just huffing about being mistreated by a swell-headed big-time star, but pointing out allegations that involved no consent at all.

In the end, the obits on Moritz have concentrated on her being a prostitute in one famous film, "Cuckoo's Nest," playing a bimbo in a Cheech & Chong movie, and for a jaw-dropping bit of foolishness that she did not, for even a second, find offensive enough to protest. Usually, when a man exposes himself, a woman doesn't just nod her head and do whatever else he wants. Blaming men in power for taking advantage, or being selfish, denies what happened when Marie Antoinette was in power, or Countess Bathory or Imelda Marcos. It's sadly a part of human nature that any boss, either gender, can be a bastard or a bitch.

UPDATE

Sure enough, Louisa made the front page...because of the Cosby allegation. Is it surprising that some cynics think that some crime reports are done to gain publicity and attention? Moritz was forgotten until she came forward to remind people she was still alive. The Daily News offered a minor nod to one of her few (small) roles in a movie anyone heard of.

BOOKS? They're for DECORATION, aren't they? WHO READS REAL BOOKS ANYMORE?

I know a few things. One of them is that VINYL is NOT coming back. A few hipsters may be supporting a VERY LIMITED pressing of a new album in VINYL, but no. VINYL is NOT coming back.

Another thing.

BOOKS that aren't available in digital format, and easily pirated on the Internet or sold for 2.99 in bootleg form on EBAY, are ALSO not popular anymore.

VINYL and BOOKS are a GLUT on the market.

I volunteer at a branch of the New York Public Library that sells both. Guess what. The vinyl goes for a dollar each (and doesn't move much), CDs go for a dollar (and barely move), and the store has HUNDREDS and HUNDREDS of books in DOLLAR BINS that do not sell either.

In fact, once a week boxes and boxes of this stuff are given away to someone nice enough to NOT charge what the sanitation department charges for GARBAGE REMOVAL.

What does this person do with all these useless books? Oh, forages around to see if there's a rare one that might sell on Amazon, but others...sells them for DECORATION. Like so:

Yes, there are a FEW people out there who like to impress people by pretending to be literate.

"Oooh, look at all these rare old books!"

Only OLD and RARE doesn't mean VALUABLE.

My guess is that most of the people who buy 10, 20 or wholesale lots of books are either phonies who want to impress people or would like cheap soundproofing, or, perhaps weasels who think that these EBAY dealers are dummies who don't check first to see if there's something valuable in the stacks.

Some hotels like to have a "reading room," and know that the old books LOOK nice, but that nobody's going to want to steal them. Some restaurants want to decorate with old books, too.

Another possibility is that this junk goes to photographers who need an all-purpose fake room with a wall of books, OR amateur theaters that need that wall of books in the background. Thing is, today it's very easy to Photoshop a realistic background of books on shelves, or paint them. It's more realistic to have the books, but it's also painful to move and store them between shows.

BOTTOM LINE? This crap is NOT being sold because people want to READ archaic, dull stuff from 100 years ago. These sellers aren't offering anything in leather. They aren't offering famous authors and first editions. Nothing collectable at all.

Most people, especially city dwellers, have limited room, and don't want groaning, warped shelves loaded up with books. Just as they've gotten used to owning BLIPS for their music (mp3 downloads), they are used to getting ePUB and MOBI and PDF editions of the latest non-fiction and fiction, and too often, via pirates and parasites who offer the copies for 30 cents cents on the dollar. If not free.

Book companies try to ignore all of this, because it takes so much time to send in takedown requests. That's why, on EBAY for example, filthy swine from Sri Lanka keep getting fresh identities every week and offer all the latest titles, while sneaky cheats from the more literate countries, such as Merry Olde England, simply say "here's thousands of public domain titles" when, in fact, they're selling all the latest stuff they've downloaded from the vast piracy net of torrents.

Here's a typical filthy Sri Lankan illiterate who, my my my, is offering EVERY Sue Grafton book for only $3.99. AND similar bargains on tons of others. Type in an author and add KINDLE or EBOOK and you'll see what these scumbag Sri Lankans do every day on EBAY.

PS, I actually do send in takedowns for myself and a few high profile authors, but EBAY doesn't accept a takedown unless I represent the specific author.

It does no good for me to say: "Hey, I'm a VeRO rep for nearly 20 years, you know me, and I know a bootlegger when I see one. This Sri Lankan parasite is bootlegging Grafton."

Their response would be, "Tell Sue Grafton to sign a letter authorizing you to send us a takedown."

If I say, "Why don't you ask the seller to show a signed license agreement authorizing him to sell the Grafton books..."

...the response back would be: "We are JUST A VENUE. It's NOT our job to question what a seller uploads to our site."

Would you be surprised to learn that several major companies, including ones I've written books for (hellllo DOUBLEDAY) turned down my offer to, FOR FREE, send in a DMCA if I saw a violation?)

Here's an example from Merry Olde England...a crook called DOBSON'S. They are offering copyrighted books. Harlan Coben is NOT public domain. But Coben isn't sending in a DMCA is he? The book publishers aren't shutting down this asshole. Too much time and effort to do that. Better to hope that J.K. Rowling and pudgy E.L. James will sell enough to offset the losses. Mmm, book publishers. You thought they were literate, moral, and intelligent? How fucking DUMB can they get?

Michael Jackson Fans are STILL in Neverland -- they won't grow up

A new documentary, "Leaving Neverland," focuses on two men molested by Michael Jackson for years and years.

Both were too young to even understand sexuality when the molestation began. It wasn't about orgasm for them, only for Jackson, who tittered about how it was a "secret" and not to tell anyone, and it was about "love." Jackson used his favorite catch-word to describe those who didn't approve of pedophilia: "IGNORANT."

Jackson's pervy nature was not exactly hidden to the world, was it?

While he's best remembered for the "moonwalk," he also invented the CROTCH GRAB.

Somehow, in the sick world of Michael Jackson FANS, the CROTCH GRAB was all right. It was just...uh...something even Mick Jagger didn't do on stage, but it was, uh, just Michael getting a hold of the rumors that he was gay and liked little boys.

Besides, he was so GLAM. Who doesn't love GLAM?

The GLAM of David Bowie, the GLAM of Freddie Mercury...even DEAD, they have GLAM. Oh, the OUTFITS. The lipstick. The hair. The overt androgyny and homosexuality. All-American fans LOVE the GLAM of Bowie and Mercury and...MICHAEL JACKSON.

Now, Bowie was a flaming bisexual, Mercury was gay, but Michael? Dear, dear Michael? Didn't he get married once to a WOMAN? Once or twice? Surely it wasn't like the sham marriage of Elton John??

GRAB YOUR CROTCH, MICHAEL!

LOOK AT THAT OUTFIT!

WHAT A STAR!

Michael Jackson Denial (or MJD) is almost as fervent as the BDS (Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions...against Israel).

Lunatic nutjobs somehow live and breathe on ONE issue, and there's no, NO possibility of changing their minds.

It's not possible for the BDS assholes to understand that Israel is, at the very worst, not WORSE than North Korea, China, Russia and other countries that nobody is shouting BDS about. We trade with China and shrug about the child labor that makes our shoes and computers.

The MJD assholes don't even want to look, with sympathy or understanding at least, at what made Michael Jackson the freak he became.

Any therapist would tell you that Jackson's pedophilia and homosexuality were directly the result of a domineering bastard father and a childhood destroyed by the pressure of earning a living and acting like an adult and having to prop up four other Jacksons with limited talent.

Is it surprising Michael Jackson would build a NEVERLAND ranch, want to stay a Peter Pan, and seek out white boys to help him deal with the very adult demands he kept facing?

Too often child molesters were themselves molested. This doesn't mean we should pity them for not being strong enough to break the cycle, but at least understand it, and don't DENY it.

MJD assholes sob, "Leave him alone, he died. Don't do this when he can't defend himself."

They said this when he was alive, too. They boycotted the Chandler trial in 2005. They screamed "IT ISN'T TRUE." Because they either loved the kiddie Michael Jackson (who belted out love songs when he wasn't even old enough to orgasm) or the genius who gave them "Thriller" (which was actually a Quincy Jones production, and without Jones, Jackson's subsequent work was disappointing and dull.)

Sometimes a powerful person (Jimmy Savile, the British PAEDOPHILE comes to mind) can ONLY be outed after death, when victims are no longer afraid to talk.

The important thing is not to tear down Jackson's value as an entertainer (gee, even DICK CAVETT continues to do the moonwalk every time he guests on a talk show). Nobody is denying he gave us the MOONWALK. And perhaps a "greatest hits" album mildly worth listening to once in a while.

What can't and shouldn't be denied is that he was perverted, and in some sad ways. It's one thing to be an adult perv, for whatever reasons, as long as it's with consenting adults. It's another to prey on children or animals. That's why in this world where you can download any type of porn, and see pictures, and even do it via a GOOGLE search of their fabulous free BLOGSPOT blogs, kiddie porn and bestiality are still a NO and a NO. In other words, a NO NO.

The Michael Jackson story IS a sad one. Much of what he did to himself, including the insane plastic surgeries, and ultimately the drugs, is absolutely traffic. We can understand it. We don't have to condone it, especially the pedophilia, which was actually ENDORSED by all of his devoted fans almost from the start.

Remember the song "I Want You Back," performed by Michael as leader of the Jackson Five?

You can almost hear him, singing in a voice higher than Lou Christie or Frankie Valli, bawling:

"OHHHHHHHHHHHH baby, give me one more chance...
Won't you please let me back in your heart....
I WANT YOU BACK!!!!

Cute? The song was released in October of 1969.

Michael Jackson was born in August of 1958.

YOU do the math. This is pedophilia. This is a little kid, not even in PUBERTY, singing a very adult song about agonized love and longing. The song, NOT written by any of the Jacksons, but a co-write involving Berry Gordy and other seasoned adult professionals, was originally intended for ADULT WOMEN, specifically, Gordy's gals GLADYS KNIGHT and DIANA ROSS. Somehow the song ended up given to the Jackson Five. And the rest is history. And pedophilia in reverse. Michael Jackson, age 11, could be singing it to some pedophile school teacher, or maybe a precocious 14 year-old on birth control pills? Nobody thought the song was odious at the time. How about NOW?

Is it surprising that there are thousands, if not MILLIONS who defend Michael Jackson and WILL NOT BELIEVE the truth about him?

NO. Not surprising. There are also thousands, if not MILLIONS who believe Alex Jones, and think the massacre of school children at Sandy Hook was a hoax. That it NEVER happened. They praised his "INFO WARS" company and considered reality to be FAKE NEWS.

MJD assholes want to remain cocooned in their cozy notion that Michael Jackson wasn't a devious deviant? The man was slick. He knew how to get what he wanted. Paul McCartney has made a career out of being a nice guy. He barely calls the murderer of John Lennon a "jerk." But he still tells of how he was betrayed by Michael Jackson. What continues to irk Paul, is how he advised Jackson on business matters, including investing in publishing rights. What did Jackson do? He giggled and out-bid McCartney for Beatles song rights.

Jackson was not a particularly nice guy. Which doesn't matter much if you want to separate art and personality.

It's just a little more difficult to separate the Michael Jackson of music videos, and hit songs, from the guy who was shoving tampons up kids' asses, and giving them wine (Jesus Juice) and engaging them in mutual oral sex and coaching them on how to get dressed FAST should anyone come knocking on the door. Well, that's just too bad. The truth IS sometimes painful. So is a crotch grab.

The EARTH SHAKING Gregory HInes is on a Stamp. Not Dick Gregory. Bert Williams. The Coasters....

Yes, yes, DIVERSITY. It means that people who really don't deserve something get it anyway.

They get it for either playing the race card (or religion card) or having some good-hearted or connivers play it for 'em.

You know who was a great man? DALE CARNEGIE.

He is not on a stamp. He was a great American success story. After failing in a variety of professions, and having little success with a biography of his beloved Abraham Lincoln, salesman Carnegie built up ADULT EDUCATION in America.

He ran schools that taught USEFUL SKILLS like conquering a fear of PUBLIC SPEAKING. On HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE. And HOW TO STOP WORRYING.

He personally taught students, autographed copies of his books as prizes for the best students, and INFLUENCED THE LIVES OF THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS of people for the better.

He is not on a stamp.

What did GREGORY HINES ever do? THIS guy?

Do most people know this guy by name?

Did he pioneer anything? Nope. He COPIED earlier black performers for not-very-influential movies such as "Cotton Club" and "Bojangles." Ooh, he had a bit part in a Mel Brooks movie. I think more people remember Cleavon Little in "Blazing Saddles." Don't they?

Hines, who did not invent TAP DANCING, but only helped this pernicious and annoying form of choreography to stagger toward the end of the 20th Century, was in some Broadway shows.

As we all know, Broadway shows are seen by a tiny percentage of people, compared to movies and TV shows. How many saw this guy in "Eubie" (yet another Retro show calling attention to a black artist who WAS a pioneer), or "Comin' Uptown" or "Sophisticated Ladies" or "Jelly's Last Jam" (yet another...) Fact is, he seemed to be called on to impersonate actually famous people, and do the tap dances that, in the 60's, enraged guys like Malcolm X who felt that kind of shit was Negro shuck and jive nonsense to get pennies thrown by Whiteys.

Gregory was nominated five times for Tony Awards and won once. You know for which show? OF COURSE YOU DON'T.

Because GREGORY HINES does not matter. Or, to be kind, his enduring legacy is...not much.

You know who is better remembered?

DOOLEY WILSON. He played Sam in "Casablanca," and it was a role that didn't call for tap dancing or stereotype dialogue. Everybody remembers Sam as Rick's best friend from Paris to Casablanca and back. No stamp for Dooley Wilson?

Brother Gregory Hines but not...BROTHER GREG?

That would be DICK GREGORY. Here's a man who wrote some damn controversial and daring books.

He wrote NIGGER. Asked about the title, he said, "If somebody calls me that, they are promoting my book."

Oooooooh, he had a SENSE OF HUMOR. A pioneer stand-up comic. Many record albums. Worked almost to the end. Don't put somebody on a stamp for THAT.

Better for TAP DANCING.

You know who else had a sense of humor? GODFREY CAMBRIDGE. Godfrey was another pioneering black comedian who covered racial issues, but did it in a way that didn't alienate white audiences. He was a fine actor, a much better actor than Gregory Hines. He starred in "Watermelon Man." Starred on stage, too. No stamp for him. Flip Wilson? No.

When I was a kid, my favorite group was THE COASTERS. I'm pretty sure they're all dead now. Where's the STAMP?

You're gonna tell me that more people know GREGORY HINES than know "Fee Fi Fo Fum, I smell smoke in the auditorium?" "Charlie Brown...he's a clown..." "Yakety yak! DON'T TALK BACK!" "Poison Ivy...LORD'LL MAKE YOU ITCH.." "Along Came Jones..."

Well, I suppose we can be thankful that Lena Horne got on a stamp. I used to see her in one of the local gourmet stores. I was so tempted to do a LUCY and ask her to sign a grapefruit or something. Instead, I wrote to her, mentioned spotting her, and asked if she'd sign the enclosed CD booklet. I was impressed with one of her later albums when, like Peggy Lee, she was making that crossover from "American Songbook" stuff to Lennon-McCartney and other contemporary songwriters.

Now that postage is going up to 55 cents from 50 cents (Gregory seems to be the first to go for 55) I stocked up on Lena. I also got a few sheets of John Lennon and, for sending in tax payments and other things like that, a sheet of SHARK stamps.

But I digress.

There are many more worthy Black writers, athletes and entertainers who have made more of an impression than Gregory Hines. You can name a few, can't you?

I'll give you one that you might not know of. BERT WILLIAMS.

Ever heard of him? One reason to put somebody on a stamp is to call attention to someone deserving. Most people took a look at Madame C.J. Walker's stamp and thought, "WHO?" She was America's first black millionaire. And A. Phillip Randolph? Paul Laurence Dunbar? Bessie Coleman? These are not names most people know, but they should be known, and not just to black kids in a schoolroom. Anyone. See somebody's face on a stamp, and you just might at least Google 'em and learn something. So they are all on stamps, along with more obvious black choices such as Harriet Tubman, Louis Armstrong and Billie Holiday. How long ago did James Baldwin get on a stamp? The price was 37 cents.

BERT WILLIAMS was one of the giants of vaudeville. He was admired by W.C. Fields and Eddie Cantor, who were both in Ziegfeld Follies shows with him. Bert's hit song "Nobody" is still poignant to hear. He should've been on a stamp well before Gregory Hines. You know who didn't headline in the Ziegfeld Follies? TAP DANCERS.

Sammy Davis Jr. got in ahead of Gregory, at least. Davis could dance, but also sing, act, and do impressions. He didn't just impersonate older historical black figures. And, unlike Gregory Hines, Sammy is so well known around the world, he's also on a stamp...in TANZANIA.

The Jews join The Christians in Newspaper OBLIVION

Tyrone: "Do you believe in the hereafter?"

Gladys: "Of COURSE I do."

Tyrone "Then you know what I'm here after!"

An old joke that you might remember from "Laugh-In." Glad to say Arte Johnson (as the old man) and Ruth Buzzi (as the aging spinster) are still with us.

Not so, with the corporeal edition of THE FORWARD. It's now, at best, an Internet Ghost.

The Jewish newspaper managed to hold on a bit longer than The Christian Science Monitor. That one went digital years ago.

It's God's will. Or rather, Google's will.

Same thing?

The real POWER in the world is GOOGLE, as far as the media goes. Its search engine dictates who does or doesn't get placement.

GOOGLE has stubbornly insisted it's perfectly OK to quote not a paragraph...but entire pages if not chapters from any copyrighted book.

You know this? Type in some random phrase or names. How about: "Dickie Goodman" and "DICK CLARK." Look what happens:

GOOGLE very nicely tells you that those guys match up in a book you can buy. Only, they also give you a link where you can see it, so you don't have to buy it. Thank you GOOGLE BOOKS:

Yes, to be fair, if you DO want to buy the whole book after seeing what you were after, GOOGLE will take a cut of the eBook sale (since they provided that link to it) and, well, like the Nazi catch phrase goes, "we have ways...." of making money off what we give for free.

They'd like ME to join the fun and "monetize" this free blog they allow me to have. I haven't done that.

I don't want every other word lighting up, or have you accidentally disappear off my blog because you accidentally touched a KEY WORD with your mouse.

Fact is, I don't trust GOOGLE to even give me monetization money, because they pull the rug under their uploaders all the time.

GOOGLE owns YouTube where THEY get ad money and uploaders DO NOT. People who have 10,000 subscribers and a million "hits" every month do NOT get a penny from GOOGLE. "What happened to my monetization? What rule did I break? How come I invested all my time and energy and get NOTHING back?" You can ask, but to who? GOOGLE does not have a working phone number. They have website templates and all you get is a form reply telling you that you should try again. And again. These people send form letters to the Better Business Bureau!

GOOGLE owns GMAIL and they own Blogger/Blogspot where they make a fortune off ads on blogs that do nothing but brag of having 50,000 working links for downloading music illegally. GOOGLE won't even shut down these blogs, and taunt the RIAA, IFPI, GEMA, BREIN and other music organizations with their shrug of "We ONLY have to obey DMCA laws. So send a DMCA for EVERY link, and spend 10 minutes typing it into our form, and add the URL for every particular blog page, and we'll remove those particular items with a quick zap that takes us 5 seconds. But no, we won't remove a whole blog that's obviously in violation OR see to it that the blogger doesn't come right back with a new FREE BLOG and FREE GMAIL address."

Remember when owners of movie studios and TV networks and NEWSPAPERS had the power? Now it's the faceless goons of GOOGLE, and Internet wizards like Jeff Bezos and Marc Zuckerberg. Those two have faces, but you wouldn't want to look like them, would you?

Back to the Forward.

As the NY POST says, a few paragraphs down: “They’ve been losing money for years but lately the losses have been more than $5 million a year.”

Oy oy oy oy oy.

There are a few newspapers who don't lose money, but few. One big reason is THE INTERNET. Why buy a newspaper when outfits like NEWSER re-write the major stories and give 'em away while demanding you take off adblock and look at their banner ads and bullshit?

Why buy a newspaper when so many people work at home (ON THE INTERNET) or are within walking distance (due to lousy mass transit) and don't need to read a newspaper on the train or bus?

Why buy a newspaper when the news is always lousy, or all about Kardashians?

Why buy a newspaper when you can carry around a cellphone and fuck around on Twitter and Facebook, and glance at a few headlines and a weather report?

GOD...if the Christian Science Monitor and The Forward can't make it, and they are spiraling down Dante's rings into publishing hell, it's no surprise that the heathens have had problems, too. Or do you see a newsstand edition of Penthouse Forum anywhere? Once there were two dozen men's magazines around. Now there's porn versions of YouTube, and dirty pictures are a Google click away if "safe search" is off.

And is "going digital" the answer for saving newspapers and REAL reporting? Not so fast.

Go to the Daily News website and see how they keep begging you and bargaining with you to BUY an "all access" subscription so that...er...you can read every miserable local story of rape and robbery, get MORE info on how Jenner "rocks" her bikini and how Kardashian "shows her ample assets" while walking her brats or how the ROYALS are dressed. Or can't you get that everywhere else?

OH GOD. Yeah, 99 cents...that's gonna help any newspaper that is hemorrhaging MILLIONS...

You DID know Dick Cavett was Muhammad Ali's Best Friend? And Colin the Knee is Ali's Equal?

Like the dozens of people who claimed to be "The Fifth Beatle," a lot of people claim that THEY knew Muhammad Ali better than ANYONE.

In his eulogy for Ali, Billy Crystal mentioned that Muhammad referred to him as "little brother." Which was true.

But how about Dick Cavett? Isn't he shorter than Billy Crystal? Ah, but Dick hosted Ali on some talk shows, so maybe "BEST FRIEND" is more like it. Did Muhammad Ali ever, EVER say "Dick Cavett is MY BEST FRIEND?"

It doesn't appear to be the case, but "puffing" especially in a puff piece, is all right. Isn't it?

Today, Ali's birthday (he would've been 77...Betty White is 97) the best the Daily News could do was interview Cavett.

It's a short piece. Either Dick doesn't remember all those times Muhammad came out to Montauk to meet him and the missus, or wandered over to Dick's brownstone on 79th...or it never happened. But some Cavett shows ARE available on YouTube, by the good graces of whatever "rights owner" is claiming them and perhaps tossing a few pennies in Dick's direction. (Dick's show is STILL not available on SPECTRUM, the channel that I presume connects to his Manhattan residence. Odd irony, there. The DECADES cable channel doesn't seem to interest SPECTRUM.)

One thing you can say about Muhammad Ali and Dick Cavett...they were people you LOVED to hear talk. Cavett's various talk shows are still remarkable viewing. I've met Dick Cavett several times and he was always gracious and fun, and I always thought, "I wish we could go on talking..." But at least there are his shows, his books and his NY Times columns.

Aside from promoting himself as Ali's BEST FRIEND, and hyping a Friars Club party for Larry Storch's 95th Birthday in February, here's the meat of the puffy piece:

Cavett, in the other paragraph to the skimpy story, mused that he should have tried harder to convince Ali to stop fighting (and not to suffer a humiliating stoppage to Larry Holmes, or go the distance in a pointless loss to Trevor Berbick).

He excuses this by shrugging that Ali would not have listened to him. Ali also didn't listen to other BEST FRIENDS who were concerned about him, from Norman Mailer to Howard Cosell and back, nor his doctor Ferdie Pacheco (who left Ali because he dared to speak out about the risk of permanent damage). Nor Angelo Dundee.

Dick Cavett is a nice guy, still capable of being witty, but is sometimes just slightly disappointing in his insults (his Tweets on Trump would get "You can do better, Richard" from Carson, a man Dick used to write for). Here, the most disappointing thing is daring...DARING...to mention Colin Kaperneck (I think it's generally spelled KAEPERNICK) in the same breath as Muhammad Ali.

Maybe Ali's BEST FRIEND would remember that Muhammad Ali risked going to PRISON for not signing up to be drafted. Colin KAEPERNICK did not risk PRISON for anything.

Maybe Ali's BEST FRIEND would remember that Muhammad Ali was a Black Muslim at a time when the movement was known for white-hostile people whose message included hate. That includes Malcolm X and his "White Devil" stuff and his anti-Semitism. A lot of people were angry with Ali for being pat of a movement that was considered potentially violent and deadly. Colin KAEPERNICK was a fairly obscure over-paid football player who took a knee surrounded by players ready to defend him should some "boob" (a Cavett word) run on the field to kick him in the knee.

Unlike Muhammad Ali, a world-known figure, Colin KAEPERNICK was not known outside the USA, and his "cause" was to bitch that the National Anthem should not be song because, uh, it contained racist lyrics. When that was disproved, it was because Francis Scott Key was a racist. When that was disproved, the reason became "police brutality." As if taking a knee could do anything about police brutality against any group, be it a criminal who seems to be pointing a gun, or females holding a METOO march or some white girl getting her head smacked into the sand at a beach in New Jersey.

Muhammad Ali was an open, friendly, humorous guy who loved people and signed autographs for hours. That's not Colin KAEPERNICK. Ali changed his name to reflect his views. He was once Cassius Clay. Colin KAEPERNICK has not changed his English-German oddball name, nor pointed out that he got his name from his white adoptive parents. Colin X might be a little more dramatic in complaining about how awful America is, and how terrible it is to stand up and honor the National Anthem which is about patriotism.

Is America such a horrible country that you can't stand for the flag or the anthem...when a white woman is free to have sex with a black man (that's how Colin KAEPERNICK was born) and a white couple adopts that child? George Foreman, who has fond memories of Muhammad Ali despite losing to him, does not side with Colin KAEPERNICK.)

Nobody is sure who MUHAMMAD ALI's best friend was. I'd guess Howard Bingham. We do know: MUHAMMAD ALI was THE GREATEST. The football guy on one knee isn't anywhere near him.

"It wouldn't be hard to weld them together," says Dick Cavett. Well, little fellow, I would pay good money to see you try.

SHAUN KING - Spin Doctoring and the Bully Pulpit - and Blacklash

"SHAUN KING" was trending on Twitter. Why? For a change, his target was a BLACK woman. She defended herself against him and his bully lawyers:

This dredged up some of the charges against King, who rose to fame by playing the race card at the Daily News. The Daily Beast, today:

I rarely read King's column in the Daily News. One time that I did, I found him to be spin-doctoring and being a provocateur. That's not surprising, is it? Most columnists of this type, as well as daily blabbers like Rush Limbaugh or Alex Jones, have to maintain their hype. Their professions is being pissed off and opinionated, and playing to their nodding audience of acolytes.

You think Spike Lee checks the mirror now and then to make sure his expression veers between sour and sullen?

Oh, here's Shaun King in case you haven't seen him:

Oh. Sorry. He's looking a bit white in that photo. That first name, SHAUN, is not exactly black either. Hold on. Let's try to find a picture where he's got the "Game Face" on. An official portrait, one that Spike Lee might nod and say, "Yo, That's almost BROOKLYN."

Better? Or is still a bit too, uh, "hipster?"

I've done a spin, haven't I? At least I admit it. Journalists do this. They deliberately choose an unflattering picture, or one that makes a slanted point.

Ah, but let's not get too frisky here, because the guy's written some decent columns now and then for his people, and he's written columns defending why he doesn't write about injustice done to any other groups of people.

Odd isn't it, that the Daily News gave Shaun King a column so that he could expose the injustices against blacks, but they didn't hire a Korean columnist. They didn't hire a Chinese columnist to discuss the destruction of Chinatown. Hell, they didn't even hire an Italian columnist to talk about the shrinking of Little Italy. No Jewish columnist to point out that the Holocaust happened fairly recently and that Jews around the world are still the #1 persecuted minority on the planet.

The Daily News' publisher when King was at the height of his bullying, was Mort Zuckerman. Well, he was probably not going to risk being a schmuck and have a column that could be called condescending or pandering to Jews. At best, he had a guy named Gersh Kunzman writing little comical pieces about the city. That's what Jews do. They're funny. They have no right to ever be angry.

No, the Daily News did not have a columnist handling the rights of Native Americans (the Shinnecock Indians are on Long Island...the Daily News doesn't consider Long Island part of New York??) No columnist to even be an ombudsman (or "Public Advocate") and talk about Quality of Life violations (as Betty Dewing was doing for "Our Town"). No no no. And NO.

Here's the Shaun King column that got my attention. It was about that RACIST, that AWFUL AWFUL Francis Scott Key, and how wonderful Colin Winkydink was, to take a knee and not stand for that awful, horrible, despicable, nasty, racist, foul "Star Spangled Banner" National Anthem we have:

Catchy, right? Provocative. Let's read all about it. Let's get the spin on this Francis Scott Key guy, who, after all, is no HAMILTON. Alexander Hamilton, if you pay attention to Puerto Rican Broadway millionaires, was one jive-ass who RAPPED. A truly cool bastard, that Alex. Maybe he owned slaves, maybe he didn't. But the man could RAP. That's revisionist history at its finest. Also good, was that there were no white people in a show about white people. HAMILTON, was white? Not likely. But let's get back to the awful Francis Scott Key. Shaun?

There. Shaun King wrote it, so it must be so. He was there. Scott Key was a "terrible person," unlike, oh, Shaun King. Shaun King, who is being attacked (unjustly?) by black women and The Daily Beast today. A guy who, to be fair, might have gotten a swelled head from his tenure at the Daily News and his fame and his massive Twitter following.

If you bother to check any history book, you'll find that Scott Key was NOT a "terrible person." He was a lawyer who represented slaves many times in court, and battled to give them justice. He was a man of his time. He was ignorant in some ways. What is important is to take on the KKK and the rednecks and the idiots NOW, who think some ethnic race, be it Black, Polish, Jewish or Mexican is "inferior." We know better now. We know that all humans have the same blood, and given the right teaching, can be doctors and even President.

Key died in 1843. Ten years later, Franklin Pierce, our 14th President, was leading us in a Civil War thanks to the Kansas-Nebraska fiasco. The man from New Hampshire was sympathetic to the South, and believed the Southerners needed their slaves in order for their economy to stay strong. He was more than willing to allow new states to join the union and keep slaves.

Yes, a lot of people were ignorant back in Key's day, but millions and millions were willing to die in a Civil War to abolish slavery. Key? He once said the slaves were "a distinct and inferior race of people,” but he did not want them to suffer. Even a rudimentary check of Wikipedia will tell you that:

"Key also represented several slaves seeking their freedom in court (for free)...Key, Judge William Leigh of Halifax, and bishop William Meade were administrators of the will of their friend John Randolph of Roanoke, who left a will directing his executors to free his more than four hundred slaves....

"Key publicly criticized slavery's cruelties, so much that after his death a newspaper editorial stated "So actively hostile was he to the peculiar institution that he was called 'The Nigger Lawyer' .... because he often volunteered to defend the downtrodden sons and daughters of Africa. Mr. Key convinced me that slavery was wrong—radically wrong." In June 1842, Key attended the funeral of William Costin, a free, mixed race resident who had challenged Washington's surety bond laws."

Does that sound like a "terrible person?"

No, it doesn't, but a spin doctor and editorialist like Shaun King, and like many many others, is going to twist things, be selective, and come up with either a hero to praise or a villain to scapegoat.

Here's screen captures of King's attack on Francis Scott Key:

Huh?

King's headline is how he won't sing the Star Spangled Banner...and he's complaining about lines that are NOT IN THE SONG.

The song, as is yelped and squealed in sports stadiums, does not include the lines he quotes.

King wrote a poem. Only a few stanzas were adapted (from a drunken British tune called "The Anacreontic Song") for what's become our national anthem.

What Key was alluding to, was that some slaves sided with the British. They figured, why not join the side who are trying to kill White Americans? Whether the British would then conveniently kill the slaves, or put them into slavery as "the White Man's Burden" (a Kipling term) they didn't really think about.

What pissed off Key, was that he was helplessly a prisoner on a British boat that was firing on Fort McHenry. His people, as well as many blacks, were being killed. He was not thrilled with any traitors, black or white, who were on the side of the British. That's all.

Moving on, Shaun King calls Key a "STONE COLD BIGOT."

Got that? If Key was alive, he'd do what King loves to do...SUE. Get the LAWYERS. Complain of being MALIGNED AND LIBELED:

Does a "STONE COLD BIGOT" defend slaves in a court of law and get them their freedom? Shaun King didn't do his research, because he was writing a provocateur piece for a New York tabloid. Being fair was not the point. You could argue he was being a COLUMNIST not a JOURNALIST, right? He's entitled to his opinion, and entitled to NOT bother even taking a glance at Wikipedia or anywhere else. "STONE COLD BIGOT" sounds TOO good.

King uses the "inferior" line, but doesn't mention that Key was also once called "The Nigger Lawyer," or that his views on abolition changed over time.

Instead, he set up Francis Scott Key as a STONE COLD BIGOT and the singing of the "Star Spangled Banner" as something no proud black person should EVER do. That would include George Foreman among others. George Foreman and people of his generation suffered far more persecution and bigotry than Shaun King. They lived at a time when there were "black only" and "white only" bathrooms and restaurants. I wrote about this in my book on Bill Cosby. Cosby encountered this, too. And yet, Foreman does not share Shaun King's view of the National Anthem...or King's view that a football player, worth millions, was a hero for taking a knee during a song.

Ridiculous isn't it? Woodrow Wilson, also declared a BIGOT, chose the "Star Spangled Anthem" because...of a line that is NOT in the song? Did Wilson even know Key's entire poem? Did Wilson know that Key defended slaves in court?

Shaun King is too busy raging about how wonderful Colin Winkydink is, and how horrible a simple lyric with NO racism is, to tell the truth. The truth is that "The Star Spangled Banner" is just a song that is very hard to sing. It REMAINS hard to sing by everyone, including a huge number of blacks who sing it at boxing matches, baseball games, football games, and other silly events where patriotism shouldn't even be an issue.

Not standing for a song that merely underlines that America is about as good as it gets around the world? You think Colin would be making millions of dollars somewhere else? Did Colin stop and consider that his birth mother, white, was not a racist? That his adoptive parents (who gave him his funny last name) were both WHITE and NOT RACISTS? That many people in this country don't really know anything about the "Star Spangled Banner" except that it's some kind of song about a battle and about being glad America won it?

Why pick on the song? The answer is, there's nothing wrong with the song. So go pick on the author and call him a STONE COLD RACIST even if he is NOT.

It's not a surprise that Shaun King's reckless spin doctoring in this story progressed to the point where his ego got the better of him in other cases.

But let's get back to THIS story for one last word. It comes from George Foreman.

I met George. I read his book. What impressed me most in his book, was a line early on. He said he was NOT going to identify the people he met in his life by their color. He was not going to mention if he was helped by somebody white or somebody black. To the people who want to know the color of his friends, he wrote: "Ask yourself why that's important to you."

Muhammad Ali had Angelo Dundee in his corner. And George had white people on his side through his career. Why get caught up in spin doctoring about some STONE COLD RACIST and some TERRIBLE PERSON when the truth is neither black nor white?

Ignorance divides us. Spinning a story just to be a provocateur cheats the reader.

As idiotic as Piers Morgan can be, one of his catch phrases is, "If I'm being honest...." It's a very British remark, and almost an apology for telling the truth. Well, "IF I'M BEING HONEST," I don't consider Shaun King to be a TERRIBLE PERSON or even a STONE COLD BIGOT.

While his piece on Key always bothered me, I know he used his column to publicize legitimate cases of bigotry and injustice. I also think that being a BLACK COLUMNIST meant it wasn't his job to call out bigotry about some other group. It's like asking a film critic why he doesn't review Broadway shows.

It's disappointing when any columnist, any publisher, any politician gets behind the bully pulpit, or misuses his power. Shaun King is being called on it today.

And though he wrote it a few years ago, Shaun King never issued any kind of correction to the libel of saying Francis Scott Key was a STONE COLD RACIST and a TERRIBLE PERSON. Deciding to take a knee because America isn't perfect is questionable. Do you suppose a white cop is going to stop, in the middle of a tense encounter with a black person, and think, "Hey, I can't shoot this guy, Colin took a KNEE?"

If your opinion is that America could do better, you're entitled to it, and I'd agree, and point out that it applies to ALL people, as most everyone can be maligned and mistreated by others, and that includes the white Australian, Chris Lane, who was shot in the back by some thug rappers in Oklahoma who thought it would be a fun evening's entertainment. Were they STONE COLD RACISTS?

Do we note that racism happens all over the world, and includes North Koreans sending their own to Russia as slaves? That Boko Haram targets other blacks? That members of radical Muslim groups attack other Muslim groups for not being, what, Muslim-y enough? Shiite instead of Sunni? Do we note that Francis Scott Key lived before the Civil War, but the "troubles" between The Irish and the English were only a generation ago and could flare again any minute? That Russians have indulged in ethnic cleansing against people who look almost the same as they do? That the average person couldn't tell an Israeli from a Palestinian?

Today on Twitter, quite a lot of Blacks were taking Shaun King to task. If this piece wasn't already too long, I'd screen capture some of them.

Oh...well...let's, in the immortal words of Moe, "pick two"...just to show that this isn't STONE COLD RACIST whites targeting Shaun unfairly:

Another person I met and admired was Dick Gregory. He had a gentle catch-phrase he used often in his act: "So you see, we all have problems."

It includes a guy like Shaun King trying to fill up a column and look for a stereotype balloon he could pop...a ballon with Francis Scott Key written on it in effigy.

"So you see, we all have problems," and today on Twitter, Shaun King had problems.

But you know what? He just might not be a "TERRIBLE PERSON." Just human.

Oh, Shaun and Colin, who think Key is a "stone cold racist" and people should junk the anthem...THIS JUST IN...

Gladys Knight, who was around in the days of restricted restaurants, restricted schools, and violence against Blacks and Jewish "freedom riders" so common it was often not even headline news, said this:

"“I am here today and on Sunday, Feb. 3 to give the Anthem back its voice, to stand for that historic choice of words, the way it unites us when we hear it and to free it from the same prejudices and struggles I have fought long and hard for all my life, from walking back hallways, from marching with our social leaders, from using my voice for good — I have been in the forefront of this battle longer than most of those voicing their opinions to win the right to sing our country’s Anthem on a stage as large as the Super Bowl LIII.

“No matter who chooses to deflect with this narrative and continue to mix these two in the same message, it is not so and cannot be made so by anyone speaking it. I pray that this National Anthem will bring us all together in a way never before witnessed and we can move forward and untangle these truths which mean so much to all of us.”

Bottom line? George Foreman who grew up in poverty, worked hard and achieved the American dream. Gladys Knight is also world-famous because of her determination and talent. It wasn't easy for them, and others of their generation. But spin-doctoring and ignoring facts and painting Francis Scott Key as a "stone cold racist" helped turn a very mediocre reporter into a famous bully. Taking a knee put a mediocre football player on the cover of Time Magazine and he still milks it for media attention. The slick highway to fame that King and Kaepernick took worked for them, but the hard road traveled by Foreman and Knight is what should be respected a lot more.

"LAWYER IN HELL" is my most popular track on iTUNES. And on Spotify...Amazon...

Actually I don't follow the statistics much.

It's just nice to know that when people say "Where can I get your album," I can say iTunes...Amazon...the usual suspects."

And so it goes...you can BUY ME. You can STREAM ME. I know, it sounds kind of pornographic. Maybe one day it'll be phonographic...so that "old school" people can get me on vinyl or CD.

Meanwhile, more people streaming (almost as many as are bootlegging and "sharing" on blogs). YouTube doesn't even charge people for this, and most every popular song and even entire albums are on there. YouTube might pay a few pennies per 1000 hits. This is then split between the artist, the record label and a licensing company such as (in my case) BMI?

A question is how artists can make money when people prefer to listen a few times free on YouTube or as part of a monthly "stream all you want for ten bucks," deal on iTunes or Amazon. It seems few are going to BUY a song for a buck unless they really want to "support the artist."

I do appreciate it when I hear: "Hey, I bought you album..." but more often I hear: "I found your songs on Spotify. You're...really out there."

Adele, I'm not.

Nothing much artists can do about any of this. Most agree that these days, a new release is just a tool to get attention for touring, or a big pay day if the song is used as background on a TV show or the end credit of a film.

I'll have to ask my manager about that, next time I look in the mirror.

I'm not sure what to make of "Lawyer in Hell" being the most successful track on iTunes. People search for the word LAWYER or the word HELL or...both?

The New Novelty Single: SHEER LUCK SHERLOCK HOLMES

Your 30 second sample of my new song is right here:

SHEER LUCK SHERLOCK HOLMES

Nigel Bruce imitation. References to Frank Sinatra, hemorrhoids, a giant rat and Scotland Yard? In under 2:18 seconds!

AND...it was produced written and performed without GoFUNDMe. Sapristi! AND...the download is just 99 cents! (You can stream it free on YouTube or Spotify, and probably iTunes and other suspects. I don't have the links for those yet.)

This new release on the SPOOKY LORRE label, will eventually be available on 45rpm blue vinyl (also puce vinyl, cerise vinyl and a picture disc). The flip side will have an exciting extra song. There will also be a picture sleeve and liner notes supplied by Roland Butter. There will also be a deluxe box set which will include unreleased Procol Harum tracks from concerts in Italy! I'm also in talks with Yoko Ono for her to produce a disco single version, with an added refrain of "War is Over If You Want It" and "You Get a Discount with Amazon Prime." All this will happen...when hell freezes over. So far, the average winter's day around here has been 35. Your best bet is to just get the download and be glad it doesn't take up a lot of space.

No expense was spared in creating the art work. Actually, no expense was involved. Public domain, you know.

I've always been a fan of Sherlock Holmes, and it's an honor to add to the legacy of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's work. If I made some money off it, that would be good, too. Unlikely, but good.

Back in the 80's I wrote a piece for HOME VIDEO magazine on the debut of the Rathbone/Bruce Sherlock Holmes series on VHS.

It was a pretty decent piece, for a guy still fondly remembering his college days. But yeah, only a wiseguy kid would've referred to "Rathbone the ham, and Bruce the good egg." The same kid who kept the hemorrhoid line in "Sheer Luck Sherlock Holmes."

I did visit Basil Rathbone, but he didn't say much. This was at Ferncliff, where he and his wife are filed in a mausoleum. You have to look up almost to the ceiling to even see their markers. I didn't see the graves of Marion Lorne or Moms Mabley (out in the grounds, not in one of the apartments) and somehow, missed the urn containing Judy Garland's ashes. Some say that death is permanent, but that's not always quite so. You can still go to Ferncliff Cemetery (it's in the suburb of Hartsdale) and find Basil, Marion and Moms, but...in 2017 Judy Garland's urn was packed up and moved to Hollywood Forever Cemetery, apparently on orders from her daughter, Lorna Luft.

I think the only person I ever met who actually appeared in one of the Rathbone/Bruce films was Gale Sondergaard, the notorious "Spider Woman." For some reason, she appeared at a "Sons of the Desert" (Laurel and Hardy) banquet. She gave an entertaining after-dinner speech, which I don't remember. (Likewise, the following year...or was it the previous year...they brought in Margaret Hamilton. I think the idea was to not confine the honored guests to those who worked with Stan & Ollie.)

Basil Rathbone appears in my book "Horror Stars on Radio." He wasn't prone to monster make-up like some of the others in the book, but he appeared in a variety of beloved movies in the genre, including of course, "Son of Frankenstein" and "Tales of Terror." In the latter's "M. Valdemar" segment, he attempted to hypnotize Vincent Price at the moment of death. The result was a memorable moment as Vinnie sort of thawed out and came after Basil while, in Poe's phrase, becoming "a nearly liquid mass of loathsome – of detestable putrescence.” Basil also performed a variety of Poe's poems and stories for Caedmon Records. Their publicist once gave me a little tour of the place...and the sound studio where all of their recordings were made. I saw the glass booth that housed, if briefly, not only Basil Rathbone, but Boris Karloff and Vincent Price. Oh, if those walls could only shriek.

In being a record producer, there are quite a lot of legalities and responsibilities. One of them is to register cover versions of songs and set up arduous accounting sheets to keep track of royalties and the percentage that goes to the song publisher. That's one reason why I only record original material.

Another bit of paperwork involves stating that the work IS original, listing the composer of the music and lyrics, and also designating whether anything might warrant a "parental discretion" warning. I did wonder if it was ok to have used the word "ass," and whether a line should've been eliminated to make it perfectly G-rated. But as they say..."what the fuck." It's JUST a novelty song. One can't blame me, or Dr. John H. Watson. It's all the fault of Mr. Sherlock Holmes.

KIM KARDASHIAN : The new NORMAN MAILER and...our next VICE PRESIDENT. PS - Leslie Van Houton, who?

All hail KIM KARDASHIAN.

You remember where she came from? The gutter. A porn leak. After a non-entity named Paris Hilton became famous for a porn leak and a semi-known last name...KIM KARDASHIAN made headlines.

Kim who? The daughter of WHO? Oh, Robert Kardashian was one of the MANY lawyers who defended creepy O.J. Simpson. His wife...is an ambitious "momager" ready to parlay amateur porn video fame into a career for her daughter? The ex-Mrs. Robert Kardashian ended up marrying "Bruce" Jenner? Ah yes. And we are all suffering from no end to Kardashian and Jenner sisters. But let's get back to getting away with murder.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, America's "ROYAL COUPLE," are so beloved and powerful that they both get the attention of our Reality Show President, Donald Trump. Kim has been to the White House to lobby on issues based on her expertise as...a sleazy constantly-nude celebutard? She went on to demand the release of a teenage whore who murdered a man in cold blood.

AND...she got it.

Cyntoia Brown, whom we would call a "sex worker" because whore is perjorative, was "forced" into a life of crime. Somehow, thousands if not millions of girls her age did NOT turn to prostitution or drug dealing or any type of crime. She did. Society's Child apparently had a very mean pimp. Guess what. Even high-priced call girls can have those. Even legal "sex workers" in Nevada can have nasty bosses who overwork the women and perhaps even feed them drugs.

The pimp didn't seem to be around when Brown made herself available to some white cracker in a pick-up truck. The story goes that they talked for a while in a restaurant, made a deal, and off she went. Alone. No pimp following in a car to make sure she was ok. Instead of a motel, they went to the man's place. According to her own testimony, this good ol' boy (a part time Sunday School teacher...really?) was polite, didn't force himself on her, and even showed off his neat-o rifle collection.

She claimed this made her nervous. The guy should've been the one who was nervous. You show off your guns to a whore you picked up? But, happily for him, she was not about to steal any of his rifles. She had her own weapon.

They were in bed together, and she wasn't too interested, and this rather nice cracker didn't demand what he paid for. He rolled over, and that's when she took out a gun and blew his head off. She then robbed him and left.

Pretty sad but simple story isn't it? The spin was that she killed this guy because (let's all sing along) "She was ONLY SIXTEEN...."

She was young. She'd had enough of prostitution. She snapped. Rather than leave this guy, brandishing her weapon in case he tried to stop her, she shot him in the back. Back of the head. This isn't a case of self-defense. It's not "stand your ground" or "lie your ground" in bed and don't let the customer get snotty with you. This was a bullet to the brain. This cracker didn't know what hit him.

Kim Kardashian and a few other ME TOO people decided that Brown had served another time. It wasn't her fault. Never mind her record of erratic behavior, and never mind that she actually KILLED someone who did her no harm, and that she fled with his money. It wasn't her fault. CLEMENCY, please.

Well, what star-struck Governor can resist Kim Kardashian? He's seen her fat-ass photos? He's fallen under the spell of her gigantic cow-eyes? He's stared at the miles and miles of her upper and lower lips? He's heard all about her gold-plated toilet seats? Brown is now FREE.

TARANA BURKE, one of Time Magazine's heroines, took a minute to pen TWO WHOLE PARAGRAPHS about this. No mention of Brown's crime, how she shot a guy in the back of the head, or that THIS guy was not her PIMP. How come our poor teen prostitute didn't shoot her damn pimp in the head? Aw, it's ok, this was just a white cracker. A john. He solicited a whore and he got what he deserved. Reverse sexism at its finest.

The murder victim is no victim at all. We've got an unjustly accused and sentenced feminist who simply had enough of being a prostitute. Why should she shoot her pimp? Why should she even shoot a guy who was giving her a bad lay for pay? No, she snapped as this guy lay half-asleep with his back turned. WHAT A HEROINE. And let's feel so sorry for all the rest out there, that we give them a free pass the next time a john gets shot in the head for being sad enough to pay for a woman. Not rape. Pay.

Kardashian is the new Norman Mailer.

Years ago, Norman Mailer championed a psycho named Jack Abbott. Norman was impressed with Jack's book, "In the Belly of the Beast," and hey, if I guy can WRITE, he can't be all bad.

Norman knew that for a fact. In a rage, he stabbed his wife in the belly, and nearly killed her. His excuse was that he was kind of wired. Temporarily nuts. You know, like Cyntoia Brown was temporarily nuts when SHE assaulted somebody who was unarmed.

Jack Abbott was given clemency, and went nuts and killed a waiter in a restaurant. Aw, he "snapped" again. Poor Jack. And poor Norman, because that kind of thing can make a guy feel guilty. And wasn't he feeling a little sheepish already about his now-divorced wife, who still told interviewers what happened to him? Some of Norman's literary rivals also took great pleasure in bringing up that incident.

Norman Mailer eventually joined Jimmy Breslin in an attempt to take over New York City. Mayor Breslin? Deputy Mayor Mailer? Whatever. The farce failed.

Today? Today, when a reality show star who bankrupted his own casinos runs for President...he WINS. Anyone want to bet on whether a ticket of Kim and Kanye couldn't win in 2020 or 2024? Kanye has already boasted that he might run for President. Kim would bolster the female vote!

I suppose at this point, I should mention that I met Norman Mailer. That Norman even drew a full page (8x11) self-portrait for me. He was one of our great writers. That he had flaws, did some dangerous and foolish things, can't be denied.

As one of the few FEMINISTS around, I have fought, for over 15 years now, for the rights of women, and my main target was, and continues to be, the abuse of all women on EBAY, where fake images and stolen images and "found" images are sold in their "adult" area of the site with NO permission and NO model releases of age and consent. I have enlisted many famous name celebrities in my cause, and they know from my writings, including my book "Sweethearts of 60's TV," the kind of respect and admiration I have for women.

BUT...my idea of a hero is not Jack Abbott, and my idea of a heroine isn't a hooker who goes nuts (or maybe she was perfectly sane at the time) and takes out her rage on some sad slob who did her no harm. I don't think talentless idiots like Kim Kardashian should be given audiences with governors or presidents and taken seriously. I think it's very wrong to pretend that the clemency in this case is deserved because the woman is somehow innocent and should never have been jailed. This was a murder. There was NO justification for it. It was NOT self-defense.

You want to say that a 16 year-old shouldn't be locked up forever? You want to say, as Norman Mailer said about Jack Abbott, that she's "changed" and is no longer a threat? Go ahead. It's your opinion. You might get lucky and somebody will agree. But whether it's a female or a male, do NOT trivialize the victim, or in the case of the great TARANA BURKE, not even mention the victim's name in cheering about a killer's release.

PS, where is TARANA BURKE in demanding that EBAY stop selling fake and stolen images of celebrities? Where is the great Gloria Allred? The excuse is that they can't be everywhere, right? Allred can't be bothered putting together a class-action lawsuit demanding money from EBAY and PAYPAL for their obnoxious and illegal activities. Allred can't ask the fabulous TISH JAMES, Attorney General, to either put forth a bill, or underline FEDERAL LAW and make sure that all Internet sites have permission to post nude images or the sites get blocked.

Here's hoping that Cyntoia Brown will not be another Jack Abbott, but rather, like the wonderful Squeaky Fromme, live out her life in harmless obscurity. And lastly, speaking of high profile criminals: Leslie Van Houton.

Where is TARANA BURKE on this? Why is it that the Governor of Tennessee pardoned a killer and the Governor of California has REJECTED the findings of his own PAROLE BOARD, and kept Leslie Van Houton locked up? Van Houton did not kill anyone. She abused an already dead body, yes, but she was not much older than Cyntoia Brown at the time, and she's been a model prisoner for the many decades she's been imprisoned.

The message sent in the Brown case, is that johns should think twice before hiring underage sex workers. Or sex workers who might be on drugs. Or might just be crazy. Never mind that many sex workers are fighting to BE sex workers and want prostitution completely legitimized. The message in the Brown case is that a woman who kills somebody might just be an innocent victim who had every reason to be threatened by an unarmed man, in a situation where she was free to leave.

The message sent in keeping Leslie Van Houton locked up, is that nobody can EVER be rehabilitated? That prison is NOT about rehabilitation? That what a drugged-up stupid girl did in her youth can keep her locked up even when she's a wrinkled old lady with a perfect record in teaching inmates and counseling them? Isn't TARANA BURKE interested in the fate of a woman whose misguided youth also involved a pimp-like manipulator?

Maybe what Leslie Van Houton needs at this point is a few nice words from KIM KARDASHIAN.

At TIME MAGAZINE, "diversity" means NO MEN AT ALL. Down with MEN. BOYCOTT MEN!

I was leafing through the latest anorexic issue of TIME. (I know, I shouldn't have a subscription, I should just SURF their WEBSITE.)

Along with such vital articles such as four pages about a Syrian immigrant woman living in Germany, and six pages on an oil boom in Texas (we're SAVED) there was two pages for new books.

"Each new year comes with the temptation (to read) a fresh new self-help book."

So wrote a woman named ANNABEL GUTTERMAN. (She should think about changing that last name to GUTTERWOMAN, and slut-shaming be damned!)

You know self-help books.

They have included, in the past, works by Wayne Dyer. By Dale Carnegie. By Deepak Chopra.

What did a woman named ANNABEL GUTTERMAN select?

SIX BOOKS...ALL BY WOMEN.

Can you imagine the RED FLAGS...the RED PANTIES...waving at the TIME editorial meeting, if ALL SIX AUTHORS were MEN?

"Where's the DIVERSITY?"

"Do these men at LEAST have Pakistani or African names?"

"Any of them a trans MAN who used to be a WOMAN?"

"Do we have photos to see how many of these men are...OF COLOR? Not colored, but...OF COLOR?"

Apparently nobody at TIME questioned why all six self-help books were by women.

The knee-jerk rationalization here is that women have been denied publication for such a long time (including Emily Bronte, Emily Dickinson, Willa Cather, Pearl S. Buck, Germaine Greer, Erica Jong, P.D. James, pudgy E.L. James and R.K. Rowling) that we MUST let the teeter-totter stay anchored in prejudice and favoritism. ALL SIX BOOKS BY WOMEN is payback.

PAYBACK, as they say, is a BITCH.