HALLOWEEN 2019 - Some Suggestions

It’s SO hard to be completely politically correct. You need a scorecard.

Or how about a plastic blue pumpkin with a message on it, to let you know that there are caring, sensitive people in the world and YOU are not one of them. So get with it.

Now, REMEMBER, if a strange looking ADULT comes to your door with a BLUE plastic pumpkin, that means he’s autistic, and just like any other adult, except he’s out playing Trick or Treat.

He is most definitely NOT an impersonator who just got a BLUE plastic pumpkin to fool you.

He’s also not Adam Lanza, who was just like everybody else, except he shot his mother and then went to a school and shot up everyone. Somebody like THAT might be autistic but would NOT be carrying around a blue plastic pumpkin. He’d be carrying an AK-15. Big difference.

Behind the adult with the BLUE plastic pumpkin might be an adult simply going around collecting money for a charity you never heard of. Don’t be a GRINCH and demand to see proof the charity exists. Trust that this person is legit. All you have to lose is some money.

Next, when the kiddies come around, be aware that SOME might be VEGAN, and SOME might be vegetarian and SOME might have peanut allergies and SOME might take offense if you offer something racist (WHITE Hostess Sno-Balls) or sexist (ladyfingers) or offensive to Muslims (ever hear of HALVAH as an alternative to a Snickers bar? Look into it.)

Killer Clowns and Joker outfits. Don't be alarmed. They are reflecting the anxieties of today's culture: that not everybody finds violence hilarious.

Remember that 6 and 7 year-olds are completely mature, have their personalities hot-wired, and know exactly what they are. If they choose to wear a sheet and go as a ghost, they are GENDER NEUTRAL. Don’t say “are you a little boy or a little girl?” If it’s not a sheet at all, but a totally black Ninja outfit, and the person is holding a pressure cooker, wait until they put the pressure cooker down, and start running, before making a decision on whether or not to close the door. Chances are it won’t matter by then, as your door will be 100 feet in the sky, and so will you.

Planning not to be home on Halloween? Now, why wouldn’t you want to be part of the fun?