Jimmy Carr - defying the PC idiots and the ghost of Sam Kinison

Ever heard of Jimmy Carr? He turned up on the puppy Fallon’s show at least once, and told some of his milder jokes. The dull bunch that would go to see “The Tonight Show” (as Jimmy loves to burble, “You’re HERE!”) didn’t really get Carr’s jokes. Maybe they didn’t understand his British accent. Jimmy seemed to be smiling to himself, like, “This isn’t going that well, but at least it’s not total silence.”

In Great Britain, Carr is quite a star, with a TV quiz show and a ton of touring. He has relentlessly issued DVDs of his shows. Now that nobody wants DVDs, he’s streaming his greatest hits on Netflix. Like George Carlin, who lived in the golden age of CDs that could go GOLD, and then HBO specials, Carr prides himself on going out featuring all-new material every year or so. His memorably offensive, mean, rude and un-PC jokes from each show live on, quoted over and over, and re-hashed on YouTube.

You want to know HOW this guy stacks up against past-masters like Sam Kinison or Andrew “Dice” Clay? Heeeeeere’s JIMMY….

10. This might offend some of you. People say — smug, sanctimonious people say — “Princess Diana should’ve been wearing a seatbelt. If she’d been wearing a seatbelt, she’d be with us today. To those people I say: you try snorting cocaine off a cock in the back of a limo while wearing a seatbelt. It can’t be fucking done!

9. I don’t like swearing during sex. Who wants to hear that kind of language, especially from a child.

8. Let’s try and offend you. When I was at school, we were caught wanking in the shower. Well it ruined the school trip to Auschwitz.

7. I realize an abortion can be a very upsetting thing for a woman. But at the same time, who doesn’t get a confidence boost when they lose a little weight?

6. (to a heckler) You want my comeback? You’ll have to scrape it off your mother’s teeth.

5. Wetting your bed is embarrassing as a child. But as an adult? Wetting a child’s bed is mortifying. It’s almost impossible to explain that to your wife.

4. In Palestinian passports, under occupation, do they just put “Israel?”

3. A lot of people like to smoke cigarettes after sex. You can’t buy cigarettes until you’re sixteen. So I have to get them for both of us. You think it’s wrong I’m buying a sixteen year-old girl cigarettes? You think it’s wrong I’m fucking her? I’m kidding! “Kidding” sounds like a verb for child abuse, isn’t it?

2. 99% of women kiss with their eyes closed — which is why it’s so difficult to identify a rapist.

1. How do you make a gay fuck a woman? Shit in her cunt.

How does he get away with this? For one thing, by not touring America. He tours about 150 gigs in the UK and Europe instead. As he likes to say on UK talk shows, he is essentially preaching to the converted. People pay to see his show and know what they're going to get. Compare that to America, where people only have to see a YouTube video or read a Tweet that quotes a one-liner, and the rage of "ban him" reaches volcanic proportions.

For another, by not looking like a surly wildman ala Sam Kinison, or acting like an abrasive Fonzie dumbfuck like “Dice” Clay. He looks like what he was…an office guy who decided to try stand-up. Thankfully, he succeeded.

What else helps him tell offensive jokes without having to hide from a witch hunt? Well, instead of a raspy voice like Redd Foxx, Carr speaks in a soft, somewhat high pitched and bland voice.

He looks harmless; a bit like a ventriloquist dummy left to sit without the ventriloquist.

At worst, he looks a bit like Richard Nixon.

Hopefully, unlike Nixon, he will never be forced to resign.