George Michael, David Bowie, & Springsteen - does it SUIT you?

At a recent auction of, ooooooh, CELEBRITY MEMORABILIA, several high-rollers had the dough to make toast out of their opposition. They won...hats, jackets, even entire SUITS once worn by FAMOUS PEOPLE.

A knit hat that once held the plethora of dreads on Bob Marley's scalp, went for more money than some make in a year.

WHAT do you DO with something like this? In the year 2017, people worship idols AND the junk idols wore? Is there something mystical and magical about this hat?

Is it possible that if you put it on, your brain will suddenly be stirred to write a profound line? Snuggle that hat over your skull, place a pen in your trembling hand, and watch yourself write...

"I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy."

WOW.

Moving from the neck down, how about THIS? It's a jacket that references THE BOSS himself, the Tom Joad of New Jersey, the genius Bruce Springsteen.

Put it on, and walk out to Applebees or to your front row seats at WWE wrestling, and people will come up to you and say, "Wow, you work with Springsteen?" "Er, no." "You met Springsteen?" "Er, no." "Springsteen wore this jacket?" "Er, no, but somebody or other that knows him wore it. And it IS one of only a few that were done up." "Boy, you are an asshole."

Oh well.

However, you can avoid such an embarrassment if you do NOT actually WEAR the item. After all, this kind of thing is...SACRED.

There's something a bit transvestitic about actually WEARING the exotic item and getting a thrill from it. It's a tad unsavory to get emotional over putting on some used garment that somebody else once wore.

Isn't it nicer to think that these ridiculous items were bought for simple craven and commercial purposes?

Like, "Come to my rotten restaurant, eat some overpriced bad burger, and glom David Bowie's suit." Or, "Why not gamble away all your money at OUR casino, which has George Michael's outfit on display in our Hall of Fame room??"

Funny, these FULL suits didn't fetch even half the price of Marley's hat.

Perhaps George Michael's suit is now owned by some creepy individual haunting men's rooms and looking for cheap thrills.

One can't be sure. Most auction houses maintain strict privacy on who won what (and why).

Just as Ed Gein used to dig up graves, skin female corpses, and walk around his deserted farm dressed up literally in the bodies of women, somebody could be home alone in a Boy George outfit.

"Want to see my Boy George outfit?" the person writes in a PM message on Facebook.

"Really? You own it? Where is it?"

"In my home. Come out and I'll be glad to model it for you."

"Do you really want to hurt me?"

"Oh, no, no, not at all."

"Then I'm not coming."