It's....KARMA! Fabulous Black Lesbian outs Down and Out Cosby Show co-star

Who says nobody knows you when you're down and out?

Ask Geoffrey Owens, who played Sondra Huxtable's husband Elvin Tibideaux on "The Cosby Show" in its last five seasons.

People think that if you're a minor co-star on a sitcom, you still have to be a millionaire. Five seasons? Residuals? Millionaire!

In one of the most competitive fields in the world, actors are lucky to get any kind of work. Few progress beyond a few supporting roles, and many keep their day job, if they have one. Or, having tried and tried for five or ten or fifteen years...have to go find a day job with some kind of a pension possibility.

Owens found $11 an hour work as a cashier. You can see, he was DELIGHTED to be recognized.

Ha ha ha. Ho ho ho. Hee hee hee. Look how the mighty have fallen.

Isn't that a lesson for everybody who never amounted to anything? Don't try.

How comforting it was for the person who decided to take the photo and then shop it around to the tabloids. Oooh, oooh, who is the REAL star, then? Who gets her big fat face in the newspaper and has her moment of CELEBRITY?

It's KARMA. No, that's her name. Karma and "her wife" were shopping, and then SNAP.

Let's get ANOTHER and then the tabloid can run a photo of Owens the way he used to look. Ha ha ha, ho ho ho, hee hee hee, celebrities get OLD. But what never gets old? Making fun of people more famous than you are.

This kind of behavior is, unfortunately, all too common, especially in the "I've got a camera in my cellphone" era. People recognize celebrities and HAVE to pester them. Hell, if they've got a camcorder, and pester the celebrity enough to get really upset, it might make for a sale to Fagin-perv Harvey Levin's TMZ show. You know, the one where he has a gay time mocking famous people while his army of teenage DUDES chortle and snicker and snort.

Karma is a bitch. And here's a photo of Karma.

They look SO happy in that photo. Maybe because they were dressed for it, and it wasn't taken without their permission.

FREDD WAYNE - "Room for One More...BEN FRANKLIN!" and Carmen in Drag? Unusual Character Actor!

Most casual TV fans never heard of "FREDD WAYNE."

Take a look at the photo above, and you'll probably say, "Oh, that guy. Yeah. He played the heartless agent opposite Barbara Nichols in that spooky "Room 22" episode of "The Twilight Zone." So?

And he had a second career playing Ben Franklin, not only on an episode of "Bewitched" but via a one-man stage show.

He was one of those versatile character actors so versatile...that he went unnoticed.

He died in Santa Monica in assisted living (well, you can only assist in helping someone live...) at the age of 93. Born Fredd Weiner (October 17, 1924 – August 27, 2018) his acting career actually took off when he was in World War 2. Before that, he'd worked in the mail room at Warner Bros. But when he joined "Special Services," he did everything from run the movie projector to put together amateur shows to entertain the troops.

Bob Hope couldn't be everywhere, so it was important for morale that talented GI's get together and offer some entertainment. Fredd ended up writing a show called "G.I. Carmen," and when he couldn't find anyone to dress in drag for the lead, he took the assignment himself.

"Special Services" revues, like the Bob Hope shows, made the circuit wherever the troops needed a break, so Fredd's odd show toured through Italy, to France (where Gertrude Stein and her pal Alice B. Toklas glommed his ddrag), and Germany, where a curious Marlene Dietrich was in the audience.

This credit didn't mean too much when Fredd got back home. His hopes of Broadway work got him...the job as an usher at a theater. Fortunately, his gofer work, including running errands for the stars, led Jose Ferrer to give him a break. Fredd got a small role in "The Insect Comedy," which the savvy Ferrer stocked with other promising newcomers, including future TV sitcom icons Werner Klemperer and Ray Walston.

A variety of musicals and plays followed, and since most TV dramas were filmed in New York at the time, between Broadway work he turned up on powerhouse programs including The Defenders, Playhouse 90, Lux Video Theatre, Armstrong Circle Theatre, Schlitz Playhouse, Omnibus and Studio One.

Fredd didn't seem to connect in the film world, but he was a reliable guy for all the classic TV shows of the day, including M Squad, Maverick, Bourbon Street Beat, Sugarfoot, The Untouchables, 77 Sunset Strip, Bachelor Father, The Real McCoys, The Defenders, Bewitched, and several Perry Mason episodes.

His Ben Franklin one-man show kept him busy, playing not only theaters around the country, but adaptations for "industrials," in front of conventioneers at a variety of conventions. He still had time for one or two appearances on TV in the late 70's and 80's, adding Lou Grant, Cagney and Lacey, Quincy, Trapper John, Rockford Files and St. Elsewhere to his resume.

Fredd was in the cast of several Bob Hope specials, and re-united with Bob in 1976 for a "made-for-vinyl" album called "America is 200 Years Old...And There's Still Hope." He played...Ben Franklin.

Of Uncle Dirty and the corpse of Aretha Franklin

Some decades ago, "Uncle Dirty" was kind of an alternative George Carlin. Say, a more Jewish George Carlin. If a college campus couldn't get George, how about "Uncle Dirty?" That's where I first saw him; doing a college show.

Afterwards, we were talking about comedy and politics. I mentioned that my favorite comedian was Mort Sahl. He said that political comedy didn't interest him. He told me a joke that I guess didn't quite fit in with his flowing routine on stage.

I don't remember it word for word, but it goes something like this:

A widow arrives at the funeral parlor to view her husband in his casket. She looks down, and she's aghast. "How could you do this?" she asks. "What's wrong with you?" The owner solemnly says, "I'm so sorry, please tell me what's wrong. I will do my best to help you." The old lady says, "Look at this suit. A double-breasted pin-striped blue suit! My beloved husband NEVER wore such a monstrosity! Look at these other bodies," she says, pointing to a few others laying in state. "They all have nice suits!"

The funeral director places a calming hand on her shoulder. "We'll do everything we can for you. Don't worry." She says "Don't worry? You butchers! You horrible grave robbers! All I ask is a simple black suit. Not double-breasted." The funeral director bows his head. "Go around the corner, get yourself some coffee. We'll take care of it."

The agitated woman returns in about ten minutes, and goes to the casket. There is her husband, in a very nice black suit. "Now that's what I wanted all along," she shouts triumphantly. "That's fine." Then she says, "How did you do this so quickly?" The funeral director sighs: "We just switched heads."

"Uncle Dirty" then told me that as far as he was concerned, political humor was pointless because you just get another jerk coming in who will be pretty much the same. "It's switching heads," he said.

I hadn't thought of this in a long time. Not until today. I wonder about the truth of that joke. Is it possible that somebody's been switching heads with Aretha Franklin? Every day she's in a different outfit.

What, you may ask, is the point of re-dressing a corpse over and over? Her dress gets sweaty after a whole day of mourners filing by?

Why was she not clad in one of her fabulous fur coats, the size of a baseball stadium tarp? There would've been enough left over to create a very nice casket lining.

How many people returned for another look the next day, and would've said, "What, the SAME DRESS??"

As she lost a lot of weight in her last year, it's possible switching heads is the solution. After all, it's a bit unseemly to strip a corpse and change her dress, and possibly her underwear.

Maybe I'm not up on necrophilia, but I haven't heard of dressing up a celebrity corpse in different costumes to amuse the line of mourners.

It's possible they just took her famous head and put it on some other nicely-clad body, and added some fingernail polish. While there have been photos of her laying in state, as the Queen of Soul or the Queen of a country should, there are no views of her face. Surely they must be proud of doing a good job on it. Enough for her relatives to say to the funeral director, "You made her look...you made her look...you made her look like a NATURAL WOMAN..."

Too soon? No, no, the first letters of funeral are FUN...and her fans were having a great time standing on line waiting to take a look over her dead body.

What Tiger Woods and Donald Trump have in common

1. They like wearing stupid hats.

2. They admired by morons.

3. They made millions while doing nothing useful for mankind.

4. They think golf isn't a boring waste of time.

5. They use and abuse women and get away with it.

Groupon Suckers - and Who Needs Consumer Reports? Rely on Internet Reviewers, ha ha

Everybody's a critic.

Go to Amazon to check out what brand of toaster or vacuum cleaner to buy, or if a DVD set has extra features, and you get a lot of illiterate idiots. How's "Consumer Reports" doing? When will it go "internet only" and then shuffle off into oblivion, like so many periodicals have?

Many newspapers have scuttled their film reviewers and book reviewers because, well, there's the "Rotten Tomatoes" website where, most important, you can see the percentage of ordinary assholes giving their opinion.

Thinking of buying something on Groupon? They dutifully supply you with remarks from buyers. So often it's "the item just arrived in the mail, thanks" or "I gave it to somebody as a gift." Or this:

"I haven't had time to turn it on yet, but it's a great deal." Thanks.

"Windows is hard to follow." Which is why millions use it? Thanks again.

They were referring to the tempting (as they all are) GROUPON offering of a laptop that HP seemed to be trying to dump. Is it refurbished? No. Is it last year's model overstock? Could be. And is the price better at AMAZON or EBAY? Usually is.

Funny, AMAZON seems to be offering a newer and more powerful version...and for less money.

In the old days, you'd go to a store, and trust the salesman (who wants repeat business) to sell you the best model. You might check "Consumer Reports" first, too. Now? You're lucky if a few cranky people turn you off to that dubiously attractive deal:

It does take you a long time to sift through online reviews, trying to figure out who knows their ass from their elbow. This is especially true when you BUY a lemon, find you get NO support from the company, and are told, ha ha, to "check forums online, or YouTube" Yes, there you'll find unqualified know-it-alls, un-vetted jerks who give you advice that makes things worse, and maybe...some kindly soul who can help.

The Internet was supposed to make your life easier. Go online somewhere and find out why that hasn't happened. Check a forum. Try YouTube.

Classic Horror Stars and...BILLY JOEL

Remember the really old Billy Joel music videos??

Fractured Flickers Famous Monsters Horror Stars salute BILLY JOEL

NEIL SIMON - The only time his timing was off

Neil Simon was a master of comedy timing. The timing of his death; not so much. He's not around to fret over it.

But...dying right after war hero John McCain? With the tributes to the late Senator swelling with praise and welling with tears?

That didn't leave a lot of room for tributes to a mere mild-mannered comedy writer, passing at the riper old age of 91. McCain was 81. Entertainment writers are still shoveling adjectives onto the memory of Aretha Franklin.

Neil Simon was a gentle, soft-spoken man. The time I met him, we talked a bit about comedy and books, and he wryly nodded and agreed that making money writing screenplays was a LOT more lucrative than writing an autobiography (his). He wasn't surprised that six figures advances didn't go to writing books on comedians and comedy (me). He autographed my Samuel French actors' edition of "Prisoner of 2nd Avenue," which was my offbeat choice of favorite Neil Simon favorite play.

Most would go with "The Odd Couple," which fewer and fewer people remember seeing on Broadway with Art Carney as Felix. I sure don't. But the Lemmon-Matthau film is a classic, and so is the Randall-Klugman TV series. That play was so successful, it spawned all-female and all-black versions as well. There was a memorable Broadway revival with Matthew Broderick and Nathan Lane. There are probably productions of it going on right now in cities around the country.

The same would be true of "The Sunshine Boys," which of course became a classic when George Burns (replacing Jack Benny, who had died of pancreatic cancer) teamed with Walter Matthau for the film version. I saw a revival of that one featuring Jack Klugman and Tony Randall. I'm sure there were many interesting star-combinations reviving it over the year. Not too long ago, a straw hat version was performed by Jerry Van Dyke and Tommy Smothers, and in a great twist, Jerry Van Dyke also starred in a version with his older brother Dick Van Dyke.

Unfortunately Neil Simon probably could not have attended the historic Van Dyke brothers' show in California due to his increasing health problems. In the past few years, added to his chronic kidney condition (he'd gotten a transplant) was Alzheimers.

It's been said Neil Simon was the most prolific playwright since Shakespeare, and also, next to Bill, the one most often produced. After all, not too many college theater groups would want to tackle Ibsen or Miller or Williams when they could go for laughs with Neil Simon.

Simon received 17 Tony nominations. A three-time winner, the Neil Simon Theatre was named for him in 1983; a very rare honor for someone still alive at the time. Can you imagine walking by a theater with your name on it? Can you imagine strolling around Broadway and seeing FOUR different theaters where your shows were being performed??

Among Neil's great achievements:

Come Blow Your Horn; Little Me; Barefoot in the Park; The Odd Couple; Sweet Charity; The Star-Spangled Girl; Plaza Suite; Promises, Promises; Last of the Red Hot Lovers; The Gingerbread Lady; The Prisoner of Second Avenue; The Sunshine Boys; The Good Doctor; God's Favorite; California Suite; Chapter Two; They're Playing Our Song; I Ought to Be in Pictures; Brighton Beach Memoirs; Biloxi Blues; Broadway Bound; Rumors; Lost in Yonkers; Jake's Women; The Goodbye Girl and Laughter on the 23rd Floor.

He found time to be Oscar-nominated as well. This includes "After the Fox," "The Heartbreak Kid," "Only When I Laugh," "Max Dugan Returns," and Seems Like Old Times." Simon's standard was so high, that sometimes critics were a bit disappointed when something didn't SEEM to be great. I remember when "Murder By Death" came out. Some critics thought it was a cheap trick (doing a parody of famous detectives) with some easy laughs (Truman Capote's character being named "Lionel Twain.") No, it's now been rightly called a classic, something you can watch over and over. Same with the similar affectionate salute to film crime noir, "The Cheap Detective."

Neil Simon also won the Pulitzer Prize and the Kennedy Center Honor, before those awards became idiot trinkets that anyone playing the Diversity Card could win.

You didn't see Neil Simon slugging it out on the Cavett show with Lillian Hellman or Gore Vidal. He didn't knock out prepared witty remarks when Carson lobbed questions at him, as Johnny did for an Erma Bombeck or Paar did for Selma Diamond. Mostly he preferred to be home writing. Just how "happy" his home was, I have no idea. One can wonder, as he had more wives than Tony awards. Most of his wives lasted ten or twenty years. Given the growth and changes in his life and career, it's not that surprising that some of these relationships faltered. He was married to Joan Baim for 20 years (1953-1973). He had a ten year run with actress Marsha Mason (1973-1983). Elaine Joyce, who was the widow of Bobby Van, married Neil in 1999 and is his widow. You can check the obits for more information on Neil. But maybe he'd prefer if you watched "The Odd Couple" or "The Sunshine Boys" or "Murder By Death" -- for the 10th or 20th time.

I love living. I have some problems with my life, but living is the best thing they've come up with so far." - Neil Simon

SENATOR JOHN McCAIN

JOHN McCAIN -- PATRIOT and HERO.

Americans value the individual. John McCain was such a man. Sometimes he was a "maverick." Sometimes he lost his temper. Sometimes you agreed with him and sometimes not. He did what he thought was right, and that's rare.

He crossed party lines, and he didn't blindly follow members of his own Republican party. Among his friends were the Democrat Joe Biden, and the Independent Joe Lieberman.

He was a man of fairness and frankness, honor and humor. And, most sadly, he leaves behind a Senate mostly full of wimps and weasels.

He was a most unique and memorable man.

Joan, that's too much knowledge...

SOME people seem to give out their most PERSONAL DETAILS on Facebook...

START YOUR DAY WITH A RELIGIOUS MEME

The joy of social media...

People don't have to mail you a cloying, teeth-clenchingly stupid self-help greeting card. They can just POST it.

They don't even have to post it to YOU. They know, that if they SHARE it with a FRIEND, it will magically appear for all of the friend's friends to see. And won't it make everyone's day?

Sure will. Not every religious fanatic wears a burqa or beheads people. There are other ways of squelching someone's will to live.

Hey, if you DON'T like something like THIS, then you're guilty of STINKIN' THINKIN'

The important thing to remember is that this MEME only arrived on the Internet recently.

Jesus Christ didn't get to see it, so he couldn't just give it to DAD and have himself pulled off the cross.

Daniel Pearl, age 38, when he was about to get his head chopped off by the ISIS maniacs, foolishly didn't tell God to reverse the situation. Among his last words: "My father's Jewish, my mother's Jewish, I'm Jewish."

Surely, his Muslim murderers would've been more impressed if he shouted, "Hey God, can you REVERSE this? I'm counting on you!" No? Maybe if he threw in an Allah Akbar?

Think of all the people whose prayers were not answered when they were in the Twin Towers at 9/11, or on an airplane about to crash, or who were watching election returns.

Now we know, it's ALL SO SIMPLE. It's right there in a MEME you can find on the Internet.

GOD LOVES YOU. And God'll love you a WHOLE LOT MORE if you post a RELIGIOUS MEME...

LIFE IMITATES ART - LAWRENCE TIERNEY and the GOLDEN STATE KILLER

Something like that.

Everyone excited about the U.S. Open? Don't all yawn at once...

I miss Martina Hingis, now retired from doubles competition...

Fractured Flickers ... and BUSTER KEATON

Yes, I sure do remember FRACTURED FLICKERS.

The show is long gone but, how about a few stills in the FF tradition, FF's sake?

Glad They're Finding all those LOST TREASURES in the vaults

ROBIN LEACH - it ends with a stroke and obscurity

Ageism leads to...death.

Robin Leach was another personality who disappeared mostly because he got old.

He died at 76, missing his birthday (Aug 29th) by five days.

At this point "Robin Leach" is a dimly remembered figure from a campy time when "The Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" had more to do with yachts and caviar than butt implants and wardrobe malfunctions.

The show was on from 1984 to 1995, which we all remember as a golden age for shit.

The odd thing is that his theme...the average jerk having a vicarious thrill seeing dimwits with money live excessive lives of flamboyance...is still with us. It's just that we want a Millennial to do the gushing. Think Robin Leach's voice was annoying? It's nothing compared to the irritating nasal noises, gaspy groans and "end a sentence like it's a question" stylings of today's female reporters. They all seem to have gone to the Paris Hilton one-day school of acting. If a male is chosen to report on gossip, he'll be gay...and so the irritating nasal noises, gaspy groans and talking-in-italics will be more effeminate than feminine.

If living well is the best revenge, at least Leach had money. His show left him a multi-millionaire, but...he did want to keep working. He wanted to avoid being a has-been. But you can't avoid getting old.

He didn't want to go quietly into obscurity. Many old gossip columnists go to the Internet and find some website where they can talk about other people who are largely forgotten. They leave the icky Nickys and Kardashians to the new breed...TMZ and Perez Hilton.

So it was, that Leach, circa 2014, turned up in Las Vegas, writing a local column in the Las Vegas Sun, and, yes, BLOGGING and using TWITTER, where he could boast of about 40,000 followers. Not a lot.

In 2017, while vacationing in fabulous Mexico, Leach suffered a stroke that for a while left him almost helpless for a while. He eventually was able to walk on his own, but as W.C. Fields might have phrased it, a year later "he passed the crisis and died," leaving behind some YouTube clips (one of them is an interview with Trump, where Trump boasts that his newborn baby girl has wife Marla's legs...but so far...not her breasts. Ha ha.)

Would Robin Leach really wanted to have remained on TV to gush over Kim and Kanye's gold plated toilets? To ask Nicki Minaj about why her goofy boyfriend Pete Davidson cut his hair short and dyed it Eminem yellow? Probably...YES. But his silly British accent became the target of parody long ago, and if you check the TMZ TV show, you'll note that the gay Pied Piper and host likes to surround himself with guffawing high school dropouts who can barely talk at all, just snigger.

Few writers become famous by writing. Few become wealthy. Today, according to the Pew Report (and a more accurate name for it, you won't find), the average reporter on a newspaper makes $35,000. That's the average. Bet that most make less, and the number may be skewed by a few high profile columnists who command more. The best way for a writer to make money is to push himself into the public eye as Truman Capote and Gore Vidal did, via chat show outrageousness.

Leach began following celebs while at the London Daily Fail...er, Mail. Way before Piers Morgan first raised a nostril, turned up on "Celebrity Apprentice" or judged carefully rehearsed talent shows, Leach was covering the glamour scene. He came to America in 1963, eventually increased his profile via a KABC-TV (Los Angeles) show, and later pushed himself into the national public eye with 'Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous,' and kept digging his nails in as he slid down the fame pole, hosting other "Fame"-type shows, including, in 11 years ago, "The Surreal Life Fame Games" for cable's unpopular VH1. By 2010, he was reduced to using his familiar and pompous voice for announcing NASCAR races at the Las Vegas Motor Speedway.

Then came his "re-invention" as a Las Vegas columnist, reporting on all kinds of dopey events, and being photographed with other D-listers at silly parties and promotions for tacky comic-con-type exhibits. The caption says it's Heather Mills with Robin. How long after this did he suffer the stroke?

And so he had his picture taken, ran his puff-piece column, and hoped his Twitter followers would help give him the illusion of stardom and the comfort of attention. It's sad but true that ageism is very much with us. Even Walter Cronkite was shoved out the door, as was Dan Rather and Tom Brokaw, and that's in REAL news reporting, not idiot gossip stuff. Ageism is creeping DOWNWARD, with people in their 50's looked on as targets for replacement.

There's no indignant Spike Lee or Rose McGowan-type to call attention to it. The response would be, "shut up you old fuddy-duddy, you made your money, step aside for a MILLENNIAL!"

WHEN ROLLING STONE PUTS Mollie Tibbetts's killer RIVERA ON THE COVER

Not IF. WHEN. Right?

You remember when Jann Wenner gaily put the Boston Marathon Bomber on the cover?

After all, the dead are dead. Think about the living. The important issue is to not have the death penalty, to sympathize with people who come to this country to get benefits Americans are denied and then be frustrated when they don't get everything they want. Poor Marathon Bomber, he was going to school, he had a nice middle class home, but why should he be grateful? White America FAILED HIM.

Now THIS guy, Rivera. He surely had a good reason for what he did. He was only Society's Child.

Jann will probably have Mollie Tibbett's aunt do a guest editorial. Auntie is admonishing everyone that "evil comes in all colors." Certainly, it was a coincidence that Rivera's target was a white girl jogging alone. Just as it was a coincidence the Boston Bomber chose an area where white people were having a good time. You know, he would've targeted a Mosque, but he flipped a coin.

Why deny the obvious, child? Because we rise above OBVIOUS things like a dumb, child-like sub-human stalking, abducting and murdering a girl in Iowa. Clearly, something was wrong with Mollie Tibbetts and Iowa, and this stinking, embarrassing place we call The United States of America.

Surely, this guy, in the country "approximately four to seven years," was simply living his life, not learning how to speak English, and expecting to get what he wanted when he saw a white girl jogging along. She wasn't instantly attracted to this guy, as Jann Wenner would have been? Well, she got what she deserved.

It's time for obscure "white bread" towns to understand that they too, must pay the price for keeping borders shut, not embracing diversity, not learning to speak foreign languages, and not being willing to share with everyone who demands it.

When JANN WENNER puts Rivera on the cover, it will look something like this...

If Carnak the Magnificent was still around...

ARETHA FRANKLIN and the inspiration for NATURAL WOMAN

White New Yorkers are Encouraged to laugh at...insults about themselves

Just the other day, Madonna moaned at the MTV awards that she was a "skinny white girl" in Detroit, so unlike that fabulously obese Black icon Aretha Franklin. In fact, she spent about five minutes berating her white self for being white, and, clad in African garb, declared her undying devotion to the inspiration of Aretha...a woman whose music has nothing to do with Madonna's disco drivel.

The trend for whites flogging themselves seems to be a weekly preoccupation at The New Yorker. Why not? It purges their inner racist, too. You know, the inner racist that enjoys the fact that only white people are on the machines at that expensive health club, and only white people are shopping for lipstick at that expensive boutique.

It's SAFE to make fun of white people. The white editors at The New Yorker will tell you that, and they'd be proud, PROUD, to also tell you they paid a black woman to make fun of whites.

Let's not look the other way. For example, the Wayans Brothers were cheered for making an entire movie playing white chicks in drag. Think white people would be cheered for doing blackface impressions of blacks? No, no, and let's make sure revisionist history ignores Al Jolson, and while you're at it, maybe Bill Dana should be in an unmarked grave for his Jose Jimenez records, and his gold record returned to the RIAA.

This is a world where white Johnny Depp barely sneaked into his dark drag role as TONTO in a bad Lone Ranger film by insisting he had some Native American blood, and where a white guy couldn't play Michael Jackson (as he appeared in his last years, totally white) on a British TV comedy.

You laughed? You nodded your head and agreed this is JUST the way white people are? ALL of them? You see white people cringing and gasping at blacks on the subway and on the street and making phone calls JUST LIKE THIS? Recognition humor!!!!!!!!

The editors at the magazine would be able to give you a two hour lecture on what's funny and why, and in this case, it's the level change of hyperbole that is behind the trope and the underpinning that leads you to be informed of today's zeitgeist.

It was so cutting edge hilarious, right?

Well, no, if you didn't laugh, don't feel bad. That's The New Yorker, where "humor" and "comedy" are two different things, and a regular feature in the magazine is called "SHOUTS" when it actually sits mutely on the page doing nothing.

Happily, white readers can say, "Yes, we deserved this. Glad a black woman was paid to tell us off. We can't expect Spike Lee to do EVERYTHING." PS, white people, next time you're on the dance floor, find the nearest black, make a goofy smile, and apologetically say, "I'm white! I can't dance!" And then, really, just get the fuck out.

We do NOT LAUGH OUT LOUD...we are NEW YORKERS

Checked out The New Yorker lately?

They know...it's impolite to GUFFAW in public. It's rude to TITTER in a library. It's unseemly to CHUCKLE, even in your own $3,400 a month studio apartment with no other breathing creature in it but your chihuahua.

SO...they call sections of the magazine "HUMOR" and not "COMEDY." You don't LAUGH if it's....HUMOR.

You want examples. Here's a set of HUMOROUS photos of people, with sunglasses added.

It took TWO people to CREATE this.

One went around to likely friends, or perhaps New Yorker staffers, and asked to take photos. The other Photoshopped the sunglasses. BOTH worked hard for at least five minutes to come up with the HUMOROUS captions. The New Yorker paid them royally for the result.

I'm not KIDDING. This is REAL. This is THE NEW YORKER, where a smirk is a sign of sophistication. Almost. Better to merely limp-wrist through the pages with a wan smile and a nod:

You didn't LAUGH, did you? You weren't supposed to. It's....HUMOR.

NFL TIME AGAIN -- Take that Knee, but not for JEWS, GAYS, CLIMATE CHANGE, BOKO HARAM, ISIS...

The NFL, those kindly folks who still have a team called the WASHINGTON REDSKINS, are whooping it up for the upcoming season.

Who can wait? It's so much fun to see millionaires in Spanx do their best to end up with life-threatening concussions. What? Some ex-player killed himself? Went berserk? Is drooling more than his expensive lawn sprinkler? Oh well...that's because football's a tough game, folks.

But Colin Winkydink is sensitive. So are the others who, faint of heart, faint of wrist, and sullen as can be, drop to one knee when the National Anthem is played.

We all know how this started. Ignorant loudmouths, including a N.Y. Daily News special "black only news' columnist, began to scream about Francis Scott Key: "HE A RACIST." (You can't use proper grammar, that's too white.)

Key, a lawyer who defended many slaves in his time, was not the "stone cold racist" he was made out to be by the revisionist history columnists. It was said that the "Star Spangled Banner" is RACIST. Huh? Let's look over the lyrics that most people can't even sing even though the song has been played MILLIONS of times. Hmmmm, nothing RACIST in this song. What ARE you talking about?

Uh, uh, the POEM be racist. He a racist in the poem. The poem was set to music (set to a British drinking song), and the racist lines were removed because the song was too long.

If you check the original poem that Key wrote, no, there's nothing in there that is overtly racist at all. The man was a patriot. There were a few lines in there where he gloated over the patriots being victorious over traitors, and yes, a few slaves sided with the British thinking (ha ha) that the British don't talk about "the white man's burden." But racist???

When the NFL players began taking a knee and looking ridiculous because the National Anthem Is Not Racist, it all changed:

"Police brutality! That's why we're taking a knee! POLICE BRUTALITY! Oh, and if you want to include all the misery of Blacks in America for 200 years, and how there's never been a Black President, and never been Blacks like Oprah making millions, or Black entertainers from Fats Waller to Johnny Mathis to Nat "King" Cole to Chubby Checker and Fats Domino to Aretha Franklin to Kanye and Beyonce and Jay-Z doing so well, or Black police chiefs etc. etc....go ahead.

In talking about taking a knee, some Texas politician with an eye on higher office, Beto O'Rourke, is on YouTube explaining how taking a knee is a good thing because Blacks have never been treated fairly. Unlike, say, the Native Americans. Or Mexicans, Beto. You know, the ones who didn't want Texas to steal their land?

Ah yes, the Blacks in the South. The troubles they've seen. And who helped them? Nobody. Absolutely NOBODY. No white politicians. No protest singers named Bob Dylan or Joan Baez or Pete Paul and Mary. And certainly, no Jews.

What? Who are those two JEWS?

They are two JEWS who got killed for going down South and helping Black people to register to vote.

They didn't stay home and take a knee...by simply writing a letter to the New York Times. They didn't take a knee by thinking, "No, we'll stay here and protest how Jews in our own neighborhood get beat up for wearing a yarmulke." No. They weren't thinking of their own kind and only their own kind. They went down South, and they died there.

The NFL players who take a knee, aren't taking it for Jews. They aren't taking it for Gays. They aren't taking it to protest the white woman killed by the Somali-born trigger-happy cop in Minnesota.

They aren't taking it for women abused by men, especially NFL players. They aren't taking a knee because they have a wider view of the world and see Blacks suffering in Afria, and how Nigerian women are being raped and killed by other Nigerians who call themselves Boko Haram. They aren't taking a knee to call attention to the climate change that stupid redneck NFL-loving beer drinking football loving couch potatoes ignore.

They aren't taking a knee to protest how so many players end up with arthritic knees, or how often the only justice for somebody giving another player a concussion is a five yard penalty.

As Phil Ochs used to say, people tend to only care "if it affects them personally." So these NFL players have their cause. It doesn't even extend to trying to get more tax money to go to inner city schools, or to get guns off the street, or the fact that innocent black people are being killed by random gunshots hitting them on the street or even through the window in their own homes.

No. And these big strong guys want pity and "feel sorry for me" moaning as they sadly take a knee and hang their heads. That's not exactly what two Olympic athletes did in 1968 when they stood tall and raised their fists. Of course, this was at a time when integration was still an issue, and when TV stations were complaining if Raquel Welch and Jim Brown were on the same stage together, or if Bill Cosby and Robert Culp were co-starring on a TV spy show. Progress? Ignore it.

Don't remember the whites who lost their lives because they cared about black people and their civil rights. Don't care about the Native Americans who have a team of "Redskins" named after them because Native Americans are bloody savages. Don't care about being able to play your game without a sudden torrential downpour of insane weather, or a blizzard, or record-breaking heat.

Just moan and bitch and take a knee. And anyone who thinks this is ridiculous, and not going to change anything? "He be racist."

Tyson Fury and Deontay Wilder.... laughing all the way to the Jewish banks...

You know Tyson Fury, the "Gypsy" King? He's the loudmouth bully who was knocked down by Steve Cunningham, a cruiserweight who was a tiny heavyweight compared to him.

He won his fame when Klitschko, old and undertrained, went the distance and lost.

Tyson Fury, who, if you really looked at how he fights, should really be named Emmett Clowny, disappeared from the scene for several years, despite being a "champion." He was too busy spending his money on fur coats and things to screw up his already brain-damaged head.

He always had time to shout out opinionated insanity, including the old line about how JEWS control EVERYTHING.

What happened after he spouted his insanity?

Nothing. It wasn't, after all, Roseanne Barr (also known to be insane) making an incoherent racist Tweet to her followers. It wasn't Al Franken being accused of touching some woman's bottom during a photo op, with her husband right there. THOSE offenses were grounds for "YOU WILL NEVER WORK AGAIN."

It was just Tyson Fury spouting the rhetoric that gets Jewish stores bombed, Jewish tombstones overturned, and Jews beaten on the street.

He offered this: "I apologise to anyone who may have taken offence at any of my comments."

This included, of course, all his other nitwit comments, which were mostly just boasts. What he said about Jews controlling everything is an antisemitic lie.

If you want to look it up, the big bankers and the big movie studios and the big networks are mostly run by Gentiles, Asians, Muslims...any group other than Jews. Neither Fury's promoter or Wilder's promoter are Jewish, and neither are the heads of the WBA, WBC, WBO or IBF. Jews don't control who is President or who is Prime Minster. Jews barely control a sliver of land called Israel.

Fury, so colorful, so antisemitic, was granted two very easy "comeback" fights. He toyed with one opponent for a few rounds, mugging to the crowd, pulling faces, and behaving just like the obnoxious, grinning bully bastard that he is. The fight was so dull, people were more impressed by a scuffle several rows outside the ring. Even Fury looked away from his hapless opponent and watched for a while.

His second fight, last weekend? He went the distance with a pudgy non-entity. A ringside announcer, while acknowledging that Fury does NOT have one-punch KO power, insisted that Fury was, perhaps, NOT putting away this opponent because it might give Deontay Wilder a false sense of security.

And here they are, right after the fight, ready to laugh all the way to the Jewish banks:

Perhaps these two are making sure that a Jewish bank is NOT involved in holding their money?

That would be easy.

According to WIKIPEDIA, the biggest banks in the world are:

You see a Star of David flag anywhere?

Is Tyson Fury saying that Jews control all those Chinese banks? The Japanese banks? The German banks?

Maybe he's just a crazy enough conspiracy asshole to insist this is all a front, and those crafty Jews, who somehow don't own the entire Middle East, and suffered through a few Presidents with a fairly blatant disinterest in Israel (Carter and Obama), actually have this TREMENDOUS POWER, this Fury-like...no, no, this WILDER-like POWER.

Tyson Fury could have said, "I have done my research, and I can tell you the Jews do NOT own everything..."

But he doesn't have to, does he?