The GOOD NEWS for SOME nutsy nazi fetishist, is EVA BRAUN's silk panties went under the hammer...und BANG! SOLD!
Treasure hunt or schwein hunt? How does anyone know if they're hers? A Braun stain in the back?
Apparently she was rich enough to have some Jewish concentration camp tailor add her monogram. Something like that.
Eva was a ripe 33 when she and her 56 year-old husband died in a Berlin bunker in April of 1945. In all that time, SOMEBODY was holding onto these bloomers, singing UNDIES UNDIES UBER ALLES.
Why now? Was it somebody in Argentina selling them off to raise money to fight a Weisenthal Center extradition back to Der Farterland?
Perhaps it was difficult to unload these because most reasonable auction sellers, including EBAY, refuse to glorify Hitler or the Nazis in any way.
Humbert and Ellis, an auction house in England, did the honors. It would seem that neither Humber nor Ellis's grandparents told stories of being terrified by British bombing raids that literally sent people into the underground, praying for their lives.
All right, enough with der bad jokes and puns. You want to know HOW...MUCH...did it cost someone to be able to run a hand over fabric that once grazed Nazi nookie.
$4,623, in American dollars.
This is considerably higher than what a typical pricey boutique would charge. La Perla's online shop has the ADELE (which Adele couldn't possibly fit into) for $150, the ATHENA hipster for $250, and the LAWINIA ROSE FRENCH KNICKER for $260. Let's say that LAWINIA is a little sexier than the EVA:
In the past 30 days, the most expensive pair of panties sold on EBAY was...
The ad: "Gucci Tom Ford thong, museum archive piece. Women’s size small. Same style seen on Kim Kardashian. The tag was removed when I thought I was keeping and wearing it but the thong it self is still in new condition. Extremely rare. Please ask any questions before purchasing because I do not accept returns..."
The second highest price for panties fell way down:
The winner of the Eva Braun pair did not bid in person. The bid was phoned in, probably single handed. The enthusiastic bidder also paid $3,247 for a white lace nightdress worn by Eva. No details on whether she wore them both at the same time.
Did she have a ball with Adolf while wearing them? He only had one.
You probably knew that. Which is why his underwear had ballroom. Did you also know that Hitler has a flatulence problem, and was also subject to some kind of morbid disorder that had him changing his underwear up to three times a day? Talk about ethnic cleansing. In the charmingly titled "Living with Hitler," we find this:
"Hitler changed his underwear as he saw fit. It could happen that he would do so every day, perhaps twice or even three times, or then again there were times when he just wouldn't change for two, maybe three days...only short underpants, even during the winter when it was freezing cold...at night he didn't wear pyjamas but rather a nightshirt made out of simple linen."
You're welcome.
As Col. Klink used to say: "Dissss-missed!"
OH...you did want to see my autographed photo from Werner Klemperer and Robert Clary?
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