The "F-word" and the "N-word" and the "C-word" and the "B-word" and, oh, oh, oh, look: the "R-word."
Figured that one out?
You might recall back in 2003, the Black Eyed Peas got complaints for a song called..."Let's Get Retarded." The chorus:
Everybody, everybody, let's get into it...Get stupid...
We can assume that this nice group of people merely meant that everyone should take enough drugs or drink enough alcohol to look at the world with woozy indifference. What fun to be inarticulate, and to either drool or piss yourself, or both.
The song was re-done and "Let's Get Retarded" became "Let's Get It Started."
Nobody would say that this group of idiots didn't deserve the criticism. How insensitive can you be? "Mentally challenged" people don't "sober up." If you knew somebody who had a "mentally challenged" child, you sure as hell wouldn't play that song in their presence. By the same token, you don't say "what the fuck" in the presence of a priest, or a granny, or anyone that you wanted to impress with your intelligence and manners. It would be stupid. Moronic, too.
When I was in junior high school, calling somebody a "Retard" was the same as "idiot" or "imbecile" or "moron," except there was a little more of a visual to it. Say "retard" and you imagine somebody with Down Syndrome, whereas the "Village Idiot" might not look quite so obviously incapable.
The junior high school I attended was named in honor of somebody nobody ever heard of called John Peter Tetard. What he did to be honored, nobody could tell you, and since he was a local figure and there was no Internet, you couldn't look it up in your Funk & Wagnall's. Or Encyclopedia Americana. And...anyone from the school was jeered by other kids as a RETARD. Or a RETARDIAN. "You go to RETARD?"
Well, you put up with that fucking shit.
Oh, EXCUSE ME, you put up with that "f-word" and "s-word."
As my late friend George Carlin used to say, "there are no bad words. Bad intentions, maybe." You don't go on a censoring rampage. Maybe you explain why certain words aren't acceptable in certain company. An irony is that most any movie besides a Disney film, is going to have cursing in it. BUT...in this PC world, the ordinary bad words that connote what adults often do (fuck and shit) are not the big problem anymore. It's EVERY OTHER WORD IN THE SLANG DICTIONARY.
So it's only a matter of time before they're all outlawed.
Just what is wrong with "mental retardation" or someone being "retarded," needs to be explained by someone "offended." That's the one who prefers "mentally challenged." You know, the way you don't say "that person is dead," you say "that person has passed away." Let's make "nice" and avoid the "truth."
A baffling example of PC is "of color." Somehow, all sort of people happily tell you they are "of color," or wish to see more people "of color" in positions of power. But they would NEVER say "colored people." Got that? "Of color" yes, "colored" no.
Another confusion is over BITCH. For a long time, this was not an acceptable word, but it WAS, if you were referring to a female dog. Some feminists decided they can "take over" the word and make it their own. They proudly call themselves bitches. BUT...some newspapers and magazines will quote them as having said "The B word."
Now we have the R-word, and soon, the M-word (for MORON) and the I-Word (for either either idiot or imbecile).
Since it would be too costly to edit the soundtrack on Three Stooges movies, and we KNOW what the original words were anyway...
...be prepared. The Three Stooges are going to be banned. You won't be able to buy their DVDs or see them on television. They will go the way of "The Cosby Show" and Kevin Spacey movies. A Rudyard Kipling poster of his poem "IF."
When you think of the Three Stooges, certain phrases come to mind:
"Why, you imbecile..."
"MORON!"
Maybe even "IDIOT!"
These words are in the dictionary. Generally, all of them refer to people who were born with some form of "mental retardation."
In my book, "The Stooge Fan's I.Q. Test," I wrote:
"Medically, an idiot has the mentality of a four-year-old, an imbecile has the mentality of an eight-year-old, and a moron doesn't progress beyond a twelve-year-old mentality."
Now, most dictionaries will tell you these words are "OFFENSIVE." Here's the Mirriam-Webster website definition:
Got that?
We have to change our way of thinking. Get anger management. Chill. There are NO stupid people. Suggesting in any way that somebody is not bright...is not PC. There are NO safe words to use. None.
As a comedy authority, I hear three words all the time: "That's NOT FUNNY." Technically, a Groucho insult isn't funny. Laurel and Hardy demolishing somebody's property isn't funny. W.C. Fields being a drunk isn't funny. Ruining "a night at the opera" isn't funny. If you lost a relative to a plane crash, "Those Magnificent Men in their Flying Machines" isn't funny. Insult jokes hurled at a President aren't funny. Joey Adams, a forgotten insult comic, once told me, "To get laughs, you have to devastate something." You kill in a stand-up routine if you've made something or somebody ridiculous. If you've spoken a devastating insult.
But the PC brigade is saying this is all wrong. Where do you draw the line? You can't say somebody's behavior is retarded...so is idiotic that much better? It's still making fun of somebody. It's still suggesting there's something WRONG.
The big joke on "Seinfeld" was to end any reference to homosexuality with "...not that there's anything WRONG in that."
Yes, consciousness-raising is good. We don't need a comedian named "Fatty Arbuckle" anymore. Being sensitive is a good thing. Maybe we don't need to "kid" someone by joking about their weight, their height, their religion, their age, etc. A lot of the humor in telling some old person, "oh, you remember when you first voted...for Lincoln..." is a fear of aging. A gloat about being young. It doesn't come from a "good" place at all. But if we keep picking apart words, and what's funny or not, there won't be much left.
Kardashian wasn't saying "retard" for a laugh. But if she said "idiot" that really would be SO much better??
One reason we USED to laugh at The Three Stooges is that when Moe called somebody "IMBECILE," it was a surprise and a vicarious relief. We can't go around telling stupid people they're stupid.
You're still making fun of somebody who can't help himself/herself/tranself (I include women in this, and transgenders, because I'm PC.)
There is NO word you can use if somebody is being stupid. "Ignorant?" NO, that's offensive to people who didn't get enough schooling to be smart.
And so we return to the days when you didn't say HELL, you said "H-E- double hockey sticks!"
The safety valve of humor, or of just speaking your mind, is gone. If somebody is being stupid, you just SHUT THE F-WORD UP and just walk away.
And no, you can't say "Why, you R-word," because we all know what you mean. Don't we? Maybe not. There are a LOT of words beginning with R, and soon even more of them will be banned. As it is "R-word" was confusing and most of us needed a bit more information, as the NY Post did in explaining what an idiotic Kardashian said to an imbecilic Kardashian.
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