They've killed AUNT JEMIMA.
What, you didn't even know that the giant PEPSI company OWNS this slave? They do. And unlike the slaves of old, you can get that EVERYBODY on the assembly line that gets paid by PEPSI gets a fair and decent wage.
Surely, at least 50% of their workforce is of color? ("Gotta be, and don't call me SURELY").
Pepsi will also tell you that they deliberately colored their cola BROWN, even though they could just as easily make that drink without artificial color or dye.
So while THE BAND sings "JEMIMA SURRENDER," take a look at this:
Yes sir. Or better yet, YOWZA! (Funny, not very, how few people know or care that YOWZA is an extremely offensive slang word which goes back to whites making fun of how their black slaves said YES SIR...)
If AUNT JEMIMA is getting her ass kicked all the way to oblivion, UNCLE BEN must be shakin' in his gravy.
UNCLE BEN, once a credit to his race, is just another symbol we must ERASE from our culture. LORD, there is nothing more demeaning than to be called "AUNT" or "UNCLE." And even though BEN and JEMIMA are names that many people have (hell, Ian Dury's daughter is even named Jemima) it be RACIST to use those names. Glad we're sorting this out!
What next on the CANCEL THE FOOD front?
Well, WRIGLEY has to DO BETTER. They've got RACIST GUM. They be anti-semitic, y'all. Take JUICY FRUIT off the shelf. It's "JUICY?" "JEW, SEE?" We know what they're up to. It's also nefarious and downright RACIST to have "BIG RED" gum, when it's clearly offensive to Native Americans. And why doesn't WRIGLEY go back to spruce tree resin, the ingredient the Native Americans used?
Get the Native Americans OFF the reservations and into the WRIGLEY factories, using SPRUCE TREE RESIN to make gum! AND, to avoid any ADDITIONAL RACISM CHARGES, how about using more chicle, the sapodilla tree resin from Mexico?!?!?
WRIGLEY, you are obviously RACISTS against LATINOS as well. Meanwhile, DITCH THESE TWO PRODUCTS...
It's just a disgrace that William Wrigley became one of the weathiest men in the country! If there's a statue to him, TAKE IT DOWN, because he has OFFENDED people of color, and you must be very, VERY careful about being offensive these days. Unless it's pointing out who in our history is a LILY-WHITE HONKY MUTHAFUCKA. Which would be WILLIAM WRIGLEY. Among others. SO many others.
While we're at it, the removal of statues is going too damn slow. Cilla Black, for example, is NOT BLACK. Take that statue DOWN!
I know, Liverpool is doing its best, destroying every "Penny Lane" sign because some slave trader named Penny MIGHT have gotten Penny Lane named for him, but is it too much to ask that the CILLA BLACK statue be turned to rubble? Get a bulldozer on her ass!
PS, it would be a good idea to start going through The Beatles catalog and changing some lines. "Baby's in BLACK and I'm feeling blue" is clearly denigrating people of color and the color BLACK. Revisionist history, y'all. Let's DO IT. And don't you think Giles Martin (son of George Martin) could do some sonic tricks and simulate John Lennon's voice and change another line to: "Black Lives Matter Custard?" Lots of BAD, BAD examples in Beatles songs. "Blackbird singing in the dead of night...take these sunken eyes and learn to see..." What's THAT about? Paul insists it's a song about equality but we KNOW why the caged bird sings, and there's nothing NICE about having sunken eyes. As LaWanda Page would say, only a "FISH-EYED FOOL" would think that BLACKS would have or want SUNKEN EYES."
The world needs to be WOKE, y'all. TCM, Turner Classic Movies, needs to STOP using the phrase "FILM NOIR." We all KNOW that "NOIR" means "BLACK," and if there's anything worse than White Americans abusing blacks, it's White French People doing it. So, any CRIME movie with BLACK shadows and DARK lighting is a NOIR, is it? You French bastards associate "NOIR" with crime, do you? Time to LOOT the French stores, y'all.
It's important that our future, which will be armageddon and oblivion, be one EQUAL to ALL. As we overpopulate, as we get offended by anything and everything, as we demonize people and "cancel" people and BOYCOTT companies, we have to acknowledge that this isn't enough. Let's take our energies away from obvious ploys to deflect racism, such as COVID-19, and be aware of what REALLY matters.
Time to stop using phrases like "BLACK COFFEE" and "BROWN SUGAR," unless it's with reparations. For every cup of "BLACK COFFEE" that Starbucks sells, they need to give 30% of the profits to the Fund For Changing The Name of the United Negro College Fund.
Likewise, it's important to not just eliminate any perceived RACISM perpetrated by those Lily-White Honky Blue-Eyed Devils, but to replace such things with POSITIVE images that praise any career criminal, any violent once-jailed offender, and anyone who did the RIGHT THING by preaching violence as the best remedy for change.
Let's revise history and praise the black leader/martyr who popularized the term "Blue-Eyed Devil." He also made sure that 400 years of black slavery in the South was far worse than 2,000 years of Jewish persecution all over the world. Jews? "The Jew cries louder than anybody else if anybody criticizes him," he said, and yes, Pharoah makes Jews into slaves was nothing, and Hitler's genocide was nothing, and 8 million Jews marched to their deaths after being worked as slaves till they were skeletal...let's not whine about THAT!
Listen to his wisdom: "The Hebrews, the so-called Jews, can go back so far they can lay claim to that which is actually not theirs. But the reason they can claim it is that nobody else they are dealing with can go back far enough to disprove them. Except the Muslims -do you understand?" Yes, Allah before Moses, and Muslims were around before the Jews or the Christians. Anything else on the Jews from this great man?
"Remember, Abraham's religion was Islam. Abraham wasn't a Jew, Abraham wasn't a Christian, Abraham wasn't a Buddhist, Abraham was a Muslim...God told him, yes. He said, your people are going into bondage, they're going to become slaves, they're going to be afflicted, they'll be strangers in a land far from home for four hundred years. The Honorable Elijah Muhammad says you and I are the seed of Abraham, we're the descendants of Abraham. Now the preacher in the church, he tells you that the Jews are the seed of Abraham. One of them is right and one of them is wrong..." He knew which one was right. Anything else from the great man?
"Who is the seed of Abraham? Is it this blue-eyed, blond-haired, pale-skinned Jew? Or is it the so-called Negro -- you? Who is it? And what makes it so pitiful, many of our people would rather believe that the Jews are God's Chosen People than to believe that they are God's Chosen People...The Jews know their history, the Jews know their culture, the Jews know their language; they know everything there is to know about themselves. They know how to rob you, they know how to be your landlord, they know how to be your grocer, they know how to be your lawyer..."
Anything else? The great man, now always mentioned in he same breath as Martin Luther King Jr. had more to say with his revisionist history and his interpretation of The Bible and his imagination:
"When jesus was talking to the Jews, way back here in John, he told them that they shall know the truth and it will make them free. The Jews popped up and said: "How are you going to say that we shall be made free? We have never been in bondage to anyone." Isn't that what the Jews told Jesus? Now look at it. If the Jews said to Jesus, two thousand years after Moses supposedly led the Hebrews out of bondage, that they had never been in bondage -now you know the Jews had Moses' history, they knew who Moses was- how could they stand up and tell Jesus they had never been in bondage? Not these things that you call Jews. They weren't in Egypt, they weren't the people that Moses led out of Egypt, and the Jews know this. But the Bible is written in such a tricky way, when you read it you think that Moses led the Jews out of bondage..."
And? "The white man's world is newer world than the black man's world..."Let us make man on our image, in our likeness. Let us make him look like us. He won't be the same as we are, he'll be in our image." That's God talking, right? He's talking to somebody...Those people who were here before Adam... "aborigines," which means what? BLACK FOLK!!!! You never find a white aborigine. Aborigines are called natives, and they're always dark-skinned people. You and I are aborigines. But you don't like to be called an aborigine; you want to be called an American. Aborigine actually means, "from the beginning." It's two Latin words, "ab" meaning "from"; "origine" meaning "the beginning"; and aborigine is only the term applied to those dark-skinned people who have been on this earth since the beginning of the universe. You know that's going way back...Black men have always been wise, black men have always been the wisest beings in the universe, and among these beings, black beings, there is on who is supreme; he is referred to as the Supreme Being, do you understand? "
More? A little more:
"So in six hundred years now they got a devil in the scene, a blue-eyed devil, bond-haired...We call them what they are. White, that's their color, but devil, that's what they are. These aren't white people. You're not using the right language when you say the white man. You call it the devil. When you call him the devil you're calling him by his name -serpent; another name -snake; another name -beast. All these names are in the Bible for the white man. Another name -Pharaoh; another name -Caesar; another name -France; French; Frenchman; Englishman; American; all those are just names for the devil...So The Honorable Elijah Muhammad says that these devils went back into Arabia. When they got there they started telling lies, started confusion..."
You can fine more of this fine, logical speech right here:
THE SPEECH ABOUT WHITE DEVILS AND EVIL JEWS So let's see a product named after this true hero. How about... MALCOLM X-LAX??
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