How many MILLIONS of people shop at Trader Joe? MILLIONS! The stores are always packed. Many people only WISH there was a Trader Joe in the neighborhood...or MORE than one, as the lines are SO FUCKING LONG.
But hey hey hey, a few thousand twerps with nothing better to do than make an online petition, actually got this company to twitter, quiver, and drop to one knee.
Because, Lord Knows, they be RACIST. Why, LOOK AT THIS! The Trader Joe brand of TACO is affectionately called TRADER JOSE:
Hay-SOOOS CHRIST.
What could be more horribly STEREOTYPICAL and DEGRADING to MEXICANS?
Maybe THIS guy, Guillermo Rodriguez?
Ya think maybe GUILLERMO is to Mexicans what WILLIE BEST is to Blacks?
But let's not get Jimmy Kimmel into any more trouble than he's in. Just last week everyone wanted to CANCEL him because a zillion years ago he blacked up to play a black celebrity in some dopey sketch, and what he did before everybody got WOKE almost got him fired.
Back to Trader Joe.
OK, "NO WAY JOSE," you can't use Trader Jose on a product anymore.
And Trader Giotto.
Instead of giving TRADER JOE's credit for IMPORTING FROM ITALY and offering AUTHENTIC ITALIAN CUISINE, the company gets a thousand clowns to whine and complain.
Take a look at these products. The average stupid supermarket gives you some terrible generic pasta sauces and who the hell knows what CORPORATION owns Ronzoni or Ragu or Chef Boy-ar-Dee anymore? Certainly NOT Italians, certainly NOT the Italians that Trader Joe's works with and economically supports.
The customers at Trader Joe's all over the country are getting REAL Italian products made in Italy, and a REAL variety of sauces, and yet a thousand clowns complain and can feel GOOD about themselves for intimidating a company and making stores all the more paranoid about conforming to the scolds of idiots.
I remember when these joints first opened, that a lot of ethnic food was available...that COULD NOT BE FOUND in other supermarkets. There was exotic Asian stuff. Exotic Latin stuff. Exotic Italian stuff.
It seemed that when they put "Trader Giotto" on the label of some pasta, they were bowing to their Italian friends. As in, "We're not Italian, but we wish we were." and "We respect that the Italian name for Joe is GIOTTO, so we are CHANGING our name as a TRIBUTE."
Suddenly, some bunch of limp-wristed pussified pouty Social-Disease Warriors in Seattle or wherever, decide to go after Trader Joe? With a petition? With nothing better to do? And Trader Joe CAVES?
What kind of message does that send? That anyone at any time had better drop to one knee because a bunch of pin-heads are offended about something?
Oh, not offended by child labor in China, by slavery in North Korea, or Boko Haram raping and killing other blacks because they're Christian and not MUSLIM. Nah. Be offended about a box of macaroni.
Do you think in this sleepy version of "WOKE" culture, Julia Child would still be on the air? Maybe NOT. She was "The French Chef" but she was not FRENCH. She admired French cooking and was great at it, and was advocating it to other Americans who were intimidated or unfamiliar with the cuisine. But DAMN, the show was taped in Boston and not in Paris, and SAPRISTI, let's repeat, she was NOT FRENCH. And only FRENCH PEOPLE can make FRENCH FOOD, and SAPRISTI, maybe we should reach the State of Woke when ONLY FRENCH PEOPLE CAN EAT FRENCH FOOD.
God damn.
I was counting on Trader Jew's Gefilte Fish. With some Trader Jew's Horse Radish to kill the stink of the fish.
Oh, stop right there. Let's have a petition! HORSE RADISH does not contain any HORSES.
This is a damn outrage. It's false advertising. Not only is TRADER JOE "RACIST" but any company that makes Horse Radish is NOT WOKE and is MALICIOUS and deliberately DEVIANT and DEVIOUS and against animal rights!
DAMN RIGHT.
I also was figuring on Trader Jerk's Beef Jerky, but again, as the world deteriorates, as disease takes over, as North Korea and Russia and Iran and Iraq and Pakitan threaten nuclear destruction...
....let's worry that Jerks will be offended at inauthentic jerk sauce.
Trader Joe's insists it's been WOKE for a while, just a little sleepy. They've been aware of how HORRIBLY RACIST they are, and I guess aside from trying to eliminate as many white people from working in their stores, they've held plenty of meetings on how to get authentic Italians, Mexicans and Arabs to re-design the boxes for the next shipments of ethnic foods.
How...much...WORSE...will it get?
You can see, can't you, the day when Trader Joe's TACOS will be pulled from the shelves because the Tacos were made in China, or were deemed too mild to actually be Mexican tacos? That only Latina cashiers should be processing customers who buy the politically correct TRADER JOE'S TACOS?
I'm glad we won't be seeing Traitor Joe's frozen EGGS BENEDICT ARNOLD.
I hope they pull their ALPHABET SOUP off the shelves, lest they offend and confuse dyslexics.
Rather than SAVE the word RACIST for actually RACISTS who are currently harassing Jews, blocking immigration, keeping Asians in Chinatown, refusing to hire blacks, or taking pot shots at anyone in a turban...let's fling it at a Yuppie supermarket chain...one that has enough problems keeping crackpot white people from wandering around without a Covid mask on.
The petition and the worry about the politically correct use of "JOE" on a box cover is a Trader JOKE.
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