About the NYC Terror Attack - "What does Lou Diamond Phillips think?"

Now that I can avoid the comic cry of "Too soon?" I'd like to address the celebrities who did what they could after a lunatic ISIS jerk (insane Man with Van) rammed his rental into bicyclists.

Thanks for TWEETING.

When I find myself in times of trouble...I generally want to know what Lou Diamond Phillips thinks. And, fortunately, he and a bunch of other B-listers and D-listers obliged.

Celebrities somehow believe they are priests or politicians. Certainly, they are POWERFUL, so if they TWEET, they figure it's a balm to the heart, and chicken soup for the soul.

It's also GREAT PUBLICITY. If you can come up with a Tweet that lazy "journalists" find quotable, you're all over social media.

In that regard, Denis Leary worked overtime. It doesn't get more profound or poetic:

Got that? The last part should be engraved on the Statue of Liberty: WELCOME TO NEW YORK: "City so tall where the apple don't fall - forever. And ever."

I mean, that's beautiful. That's worthy of Jay-Z. Maybe even Kanye.

It's not easy to come up with shit like that. When you suddenly get the shocking news that an asshole in a van rode down a bike lane and flattened mostly tourists, you've got to think: "How can I make this work for ME?" At least, you think that way if you're a celebrity who hasn't done anything lewd enough to get the cover of US WEEKLY.

Another factor with Twitter is that as soon as ANYTHING happens, there's a kneejerk compulsion to make a comment. It's such good therapy. When some demented religious deviant gets out of his dented rental and starts raving Allah-Kazam Akbar or "Hummus Forever," well, who can blame a Lea Michele or a Patricia Arquette losing their minds? Thank GOD for being able to go to TWITTER:

I'm sure hundreds, if not thousands of people turned away from CNN and Fox News and David Muir and all the other news reporters, and read Patricia Arquette instead: "This is a terrible day."

Well, any day you find yourself on Twitter reading Patricia Arquette, your day could be better.

My day was slightly better because I did NOT rush to TWITTER to find out what CELEBRITIES thought of the breaking news. I only found out about these idiotic Tweets hours later, when some lazy "reporter" decided I needed to hear from idiots who couldn't get on "Dancing with the Stars." So instead of rehearsing their twerks, they went to Twitter to be jerks.

"This is an action is the worst of mankind."

Thanks, Patricia. You and the armpit-beard in the van have something in common: English as a second language.

Nothing like a little panic, too, to make a situation so much better.

Oh, that one is just plain eloquent! It reminds me of a Celine Dion lyric from that song about the "Titanic."

Remember everyone, no matter what the disaster, Lea Michele is in your heart.

Well no, she's actually in some gated community, 3,000 miles away from any trouble in The Big Apple, and has an unlisted number. But she's on Twitter.

It does me good to realize that some woman whose name is familiar, but whose work I don't recall ever seeing, indicates that her heart is, what in New York City? Left behind on a bench in Central Park?

Isn't it a shame that Twitter wasn't around when the Twin Towers fell on 9/11? Never mind Mayor Giuliani and the Police Chief and the other officials. Things would've been so much better if Lea Michele had offered a Tweet: "You're here in my heart, and my heart will go on!" Or would Celine Dion have gotten there first, leaving poor Lea to find something else profound to say? Maybe: "This is an action is the worst of mankind."

I was here in New York City for both 9/11, and the van attack. BOTH times, the first thing that came to my mind was, "I wonder what Lou Diamond Phillips thinks of this?"

He failed me on 9/11, but he came through the second time. He took to Twitter and...

I know, it reads like something off a discarded Hallmark card, but it was from the heart. Maybe Lea Michele's heart. After all, the last line is "We Stand With You," so I'm sure that had to mean Lou Diamond Phillips and...Lea Michele.

ISIS thinks they can win because ALLAH is on their side?

Lou Diamond Phillips is on OUR side.

"Allah" has yet to appear. There is no proof he exists. You damn well can't say the same thing about Lou Diamond Phillips.