The best FLOAT and BALLOON at the Macy's Day Parade

It's about time. We all love WINK MARTINDALE!

OK, I must admit...the Macy's Day Thanksgiving Day Parade is old fashioned.

It's promoted by a STORE. It's full of REAL PEOPLE marching, and not a single robot or 3D fabrication or hologram.

People actually got out of the house to line the streets and watch. HOW INCONVENIENT WAS THAT????

Hopefully when Amazon finally puts Macy's out of business, and the other archaic stores, we'll be able to sit back watching our 60 inch HD screens, and watch a streaming parade sponsored by Amazon, done with CGI special effects and cool Pixar animation. That's the way GOD intended. The way JEFF BEZOS would want it, when he becomes King.

No more standing around in the cold. No more risking death or mutilation by taking mass transit. New Yorkers deserve better. They deserve to stay home, order snacks online, have them delivered, and watch a VIRTUAL PARADE. That goes for the rest of the country. NO THANKSGIVING PARADES ANYWHERE, thank you.

Hopefully these THANKSGIVING DAY PARADES will be a thing of the past VERY soon. It's getting embarrassing. Since there are so few music classes taught in school, and we've learned that brass and wind instruments are uncool AND hard to play, let's stop these parades before the marching bands become totally off key. No way to autotune a marching band either. Yes, the music could be canned, and all songs lip synced, but it's better to just DITCH the old school PARADES, Duuuuuuuuuuuuude.

Surely McDonalds, Burger King, Kentucky Fried Chicken and Spongebob Squarepants THE MUSICAL don't need to promote themselves in such an old fashioned way, via floats pretending to be commercial-free entertainment. They should all do it the modern way: with "suggested post" Facebook ads, pop-ups bombarding YouTube videos, and good old SPAM EMAILS. They still work. Just ask those millionaire Nigerian princes who are actually white Russians!

PS, hope you all enjoyed your turkeys. Eventually there won't be any, not even ones with siliconed breasts and pumped full of growth hormones. That'll be a good thing. You'll either be able to MAKE your own fake turkey via 3D xerox technology and edible paper, or you'll be able to use your APP and order from Amazon and get your plant-based synthetic turkey delivered by DRONE. In fact, the DRONE will BE your fake TURKEY DINNER. The future...don't fear it. And you can't stop it! And it will be AMAZON, not Macy's!