Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Tennessee Williams? Who's THAT, Duuuuuuude?

On "Wheel of Fortune," a contestant had to guess a four word title.


Is that a clue?

How about that it ends with DESIRE?

Oh, it's 2017, Duuuuuuuuude.

On "Wheel of Fortune," a contestant can choose to keep spinning (and risk landing on BANKRUPT). The more you spin (and guess correct letters) the more you win.

KEVIN got the puzzle down to only ONE MISSING LETTER:


He figured he had the answer. What else could that third word be except....

Caption Re-Writes

The original. And mine.


You know GROUPON?

Generally, they offer products you don't need at prices so forget this is crap and you don't need it.

Groupon's aimed at Yuppie wannabe's who don't have all the money to be self-indulgent and sappy. The hedge fund weasel is PROUD to pay retail. The accountant wants it wholesale.

Here, photos real, text altered, are some typical GROUPON BARGAINS...

Monday, March 20, 2017

He ain't Cosby or Polanski - He only Killed his Girl And Fed her to Dogs

"So I made a mistake..."

THIS guy looks like a nice fellow, doesn't he?

Can't you people forget a little thing like...putting a hit on a woman, having her killed, and grinding her up and feeding her to dogs? OF COURSE YOU CAN.

He's not POLANSKI or COSBY, after all. They are still being dragged through the courts. Not Bruno, here.

"What are YOU lookin' at, amigo? Never seen a murderer before? Lemme play SOCCER!!!"

That's Bruno Fernandes de Souza.

After a mere six years in prison, he's out, and signed to play soccer in Brazil. The owner of the team feels he deserves a second chance, but a few malcontents have been on Twitter, having the NERVE to COMPLAIN.

Interesting, isn't it? You can get your ex-girlfriend killed over nothing, and enjoy the sadism of making sure her body is chopped up and fed to dogs...and you're forgiven.

The owner of the soccer team is standing by Bruno.

Meanwhile, at the same time, Roman Polanski is still fighting a 40 year-old case and asking to be allowed into America. You know, he wants the same rights that Islamic radical terrorists have. THEY get into this country all the time.

Meanwhile, at the same time, Bill Cosby, his career ruined, has been dealing with a long, drawn out 10 year technicality that could send him to prison. He didn't grind up a woman and feed her to dogs. No. This case concerns a woman who got offended that she made herself available to a married man, alone in his home, and he came on to her. That's all.

He didn't rape her. He certainly didn't kill her. In fact, he gave her some money to soothe her, and she was no longer very offended. She bought him a sweater and gave it to him as a present. She made herself available to him all over again. Wanted to go see his concerts. Didn't she?

To the satisfaction of the Philadelphia prosecutor at the time, there was no more case. Ten years later, it's been re-opened even though it was settled by everyone involved.

The Polanski case? The girl involved does not want to see Polanski punished or banished. Isn't that enough? He's spent 40 years wondering when some zealot prosecutor would come to his door and haul him away. In fact, he served a year of house arrest while various countries bickered over whether he could be tried for something that happened in another country. "Hey, America wants that guy, but France isn't giving him up. What if he's in Switzerland or Sweden or Poland, can we bag him in THAT country and shove him on a plane bound for the States? Would that make us all happy, even if it's really none of our business, and there are terrorists that we're ignoring??"

Like Cosby, Polanski had a deal going. He only fled the country when he learned that the judge had changed his mind and was going to throw the book at him. The judge, like the current Cosby prosecutor/persecutor, figured it would be great publicity to be an Avenging Angel.

One can't make light of the charges against Polanski and Cosby, except to point out that most of what they did took place in an era when promiscuity, sexual revolution and new forms of prescription drugs were all cheered by a permissive society. Even today, on most every college campus, you'll hear of "date rape drugs" considered common and "no big deal." You'll hear, in high schools and junior high schools, about teachers having sex with 13 year-olds.

What IS out of the ordinary, is killing a woman for a petty and selfish "reason," and then having her turned into hamburger for dogs. Yet THAT guy is free and ready to get paid to play GAMES.

Sunday, March 19, 2017

All Hail Chuck Berry - And Berry Cosby, not Praise Him

Interesting. Chuck Berry lived to 90 in comfort, was invited to play any time he wanted, and nobody said, "Hey, he was sexually perverted with over 70 women that HE HAD TO PAY OFF to SETTLE LAWSUITS."

Over 70. That's more than the 50 complaints against Bill Cosby, which mostly involve strippers, Playboy club waitresses, bimbo actresses, and women who were coming onto a married man because they wanted to get money or a TV acting role without working too hard for it. Berry's victims were all strangers to him who were victims of his camcorder spy camera in a bathroom at his restaurant.

Previously? The guy was sent to jail for over a year for, what was it, bringing an underage whore over state lines? Or was that a set-up, like his reform school stint for stealing cars and committing burglary?

SCREW magazine routinely ran ads in the paper, and on their "Midnight Blue" TV cable show, for a VHS tape called "Is That Chuck Berry Pissing?" Chuck had a fondness for having sex with some white woman and urinating all over her, before or after. Well, he was certainly a pioneer. He did all this before R. Kelly.

Yet, today Berry is front page news, and quotes from Mick Jagger and Bruce Springsteen and anyone else who wants to get in on it, have seized on Berry and praised him (to modify a Flip Wilson gag about Julius Caesar).

Even, who IS this, some aging punkette is hoisting a YouTube video and declaring her love for the PIONEER OF ROCK AND ROLL. I wonder if she would've been so thrilled if she was a victim of his bathroom camcorder.

HAIL HAIL Chuck Berry, pioneer of rock and roll.

Why? Because we expect rock stars to be nasty bastards. They're up there swaggering, duck-walking, goose-stepping, snarling, spitting, rubbing their long-necked guitars up and down, and even grabbing crotch. Groupies, groupies and MORE groupies. Wow! Women are supposed to be humiliated by rock stars!

These days, Bill Cosby is not only a pariah, but his accomplishments have been trivialized and even discarded.

Chuck Berry was a pioneer of rock and roll. Yes. He did write and record a rather measly half-dozen memorable Top 20 songs, most of them between 1955 and 1958. A half-dozen songs is ONE side of a "Greatest Hits" album.

Bill Cosby won 5 gold records in a row for his albums. Not singles lasting 3 minutes. Full albums over 30 minutes each. He won as many Grammy awards.

Bill Cosby won 3 Emmy awards for what was certainly a pioneering TV show. He broke racial barriers by co-starring in "I Spy" and he did it with NO acting experience. How many non-actors end up getting 3 Emmy awards in a row for their first TV series?

Bill Cosby went on to bring back "family" sitcoms with "The Cosby Show," a program that once again tried to prove equality by ignoring racial tensions and showing that a black family could be middle class and have the same comical problems as any other family.

Cosby was probably the first black face that white America came to truly love. He had the highest likability rating of anyone on the planet, which led to his endless TV commercials for Jell-o and other products. People may have been amused by Sammy Davis Jr. on stage, but that didn't mean he'd be welcome at home. At a time when African-Americans were being vocal about being equal, and not wanting to ride in the back of the bus, or go to a "Blacks Only" restaurant, Cosby was showing America, "You have nothing to fear." Wasn't he?

How many people began to see racism for the sickness that it is, when they thought, "The KKK hates Negroes? They want to lynch them all? They consider them all inferior? They'd lynch BILL COSBY?"

Bill Cosby was humanizing Black people via his humor, and you'd have to be truly insane to deny him access to a bathroom because it was "for whites only." Chuck Berry? He put a hidden camera in a bathroom. But he's a rock star.

And today, Chuck Berry is receiving nothing but praise as a pioneer, and as an enduring performing working for over 50 years (even if his creative output was pretty much confined to five of those years, and all he did afterward was play the same songs over and over if people gave him enough cash).

If anyone even mentions some of the bad things Berry did, or how "ornery" he could be, it's tempered by a shrug of "well, he was a rock star." Anything else? He grew up poor, so we have to allow for that. (So did Cosby).

The double standard is that people are eager to forgive a "rock star" anything. Being a "rock star" is excuse enough.

Your Choice at 12:35 - IN THE REAL WORLD or IN THE CLOSET

There's always been a big choice at 12:35 for late night TV talk shows.

In the past, it was aggressively eccentric, wicked man of the world Craig Ferguson vs party-game-playing puppy Jimmy Fallon.


Your choice is aggressive, sharp-edged Seth Meyers skewering the news in the real world...

and passive, pudgy James Corden getting giddy over singing karaoke with nitwit reality stars, being gushy and squishy with forgettable flash-in-the-pan glitz-and-dish celebrities and dressing up in embarrassing drag

The big switch is that it's NBC, not CBS, who has the more eccentric cult figure. Corden pulls in a gay audience, an absolutely fab audience, and air-heads who worship Adele and get most of their news from TMZ. This could be enough for NBC to keep pudgy Corden on the year for almost as many years as CBS gave to Ferguson.

Meyers has emerged as one of the strongest voices in topical comedy.

Meyers is in the real world, which some people don't want to be reminded about at bedtime.

Corden remains in the closet, the most effeminate "straight man" since Joe Besser, but not nearly as likable.

Jimmy Breslin, Legend or Not? Depends on Which Paper You Read....

While both the New York Post and the New York Daily News picked Chuck Berry for the cover, it was a split decision on the "other obituary."

Jimmy Breslin was one of New York's most famous and most visible newspaper guys. The man even ran for Mayor with New York's even more famous writer, Norman Mailer. He also wrote a famous novel, "The Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight." Breslin was famous enough to lend his sloppy look and New Yawk accent to a TV beer commercial. The sage newspaperman's literary appraisal? "It's a good drinkin' beer."

The latter is Jimmy in a nutshell. Other beer commercials want to take about "great taste, less filling," or being "the champagne of bottled beer" or whatever? Jimmy was the kind of writer who laid it down...and let it stay there. Simple, tough and truthful. "That's it," he said in the commercial, as if he'd just thought of it, "a good DRINKIN' beer." What else do ya do wit ya beer? Fuggedaboutit!

But the New York Post forgoddaboutit. They went with an AP all-purpose obit. There was a faint line that Breslin once worked for the Post.

Eh. So what. "Pulitzer Prize Winning Journalist." Did he write four or five hit songs? Do a duckwalk on stage? Secretly record women in the bathroom of his restaurant? Was he the subject of a video sold on the cable show 'Midnight Blue' asking, "Is That Chuck Berry Pissing [on a white woman]?" Nahhhhh.

It was a perfunctory obit for Breslin, who suffered a stroke years ago, recovered and then wrote a book called, "I Want to Thank my Brain For Remembering Me." After all, Breslin didn't write: "I was motor'vatin' over the hill, I saw Maybellene in a Coup de Ville."

Perhaps the Post didn't want to give a lot of space to Breslin because he actually wrote most of his best work for The Daily News?

The "front page" of the Daily News website was not Chuck Berry. It was Jimmy:

New York's two tabloids gave people a split decision on the importance of Jimmy Breslin. Over at The New York Times, there was an apology about how a "full obituary" would be online very soon. Even so, what they had up in the hours after Breslin's death was announced was already much more (just in terms of paragraphs) than AP or The New York Post. It was, of course, also better written. One of those paragraphs:

"Early on, Mr. Breslin developed the persona of the hard-drinking, dark-humored Everyman from Queens, so consumed by life’s injustices and his six children that he barely had time to comb his wild black mane. While this persona shared a beer with the truth, Mr. Breslin also admired Dostoyevsky, swam every day, rarely drank in the last 30 years, wrote a shelf-full of books, and adhered to a demanding work ethic that required his presence in the moment, from a civil-rights march in Alabama to a perp walk in Brooklyn — no matter that he never learned to drive."

That's describing a colorful guy. An important guy. "A good reading' guy." You enjoyed reading Breslin.

No, writers are not entertainers. Not usually. But Breslin actually was. He was colorful enough to get face time on TV, and he in every New Yorker's face for many decades, via his columns.

Jimmy Breslin and Chuck Berry were contemporaries. Breslin died at 86. Berry died at 90. If you discount the very stupid double entendre song "My Ding a Ling" in 1972, Berry's hit-making ended nearly 60 years ago! He wrote "Maybellene" in 1955, "Roll Over Beethoven" in 1956, "School Day" in 1957, "Rock & Roll Music" and "Johnny B. Goode" in 1958. That's his handful of hits.

Breslin covered local news for over thirty solid years, including national news; his story on JFK's gravedigger at Arlington Cemetery dates from 1963. Then there was the similar story in 1980, where Breslin reported on the guy who rode John Lennon to the hospital. And more.

The morning papers that covered Breslin in two very different ways, ultimately shows that not only can petty politics be a factor in how a man is remembered (New York Post refusing to give much space to a man who mostly wrote for the News), it underlines how little writers are valued. Even on a slow news day, and without Chuck Berry's large duckwalking shadow, Breslin would not have gotten any more lines from AP. This is Associated Press. Breslin as one of theirs.

But hey, Jimmy was knocking out columns, but not "knocking' 'em out like Johnny B. Goode."