Looting in St. Paul

Cable Channels - You Buy Them for the VAST VARIETY OF TV SHOWS - or do you?

You don't want to watch the same dumb TV show all day long do you?

Well, take a look at the evening line-up for such POPULAR cable channels as TRU, FOOD NETWORK, LIFETIE, HLN, ANIMAL PLANET, USA, A&E, TBS, etc. etc.

Have you noticed that the "popular" channels you pay for as part of your CABLE BILL, have a stunning variety of different shows??

ME NEITHER.

ASTRID DIED TWICE....according to WIKIPEDIA

WIKIPEDIA has an obituary page.

Sometimes it's blocked by a beg-ad, asking you to PLEASE DONATE so they can keep up the good work.

This includes listing dead race horses from Italy in the obits, or a dead dog that was on an obscure British TV show. This under "notable deaths of famous PEOPLE."

Another good thing about Wikipedia is that it's full of unusual things no actual newspaper would print. Like Astrid dying two days in a row. (Astrid is a Beatles history footnote; she helped style their long-hair look. She was the girlfriend of Stu Sutcliffe, who was briefly in the group when they played Hamburg. He couldn't really play an instrument, and was more interested in art.)

BRYAN ADAMS - "Cuts Like a Knife" while Twitter idiots cut their farty "RACIST!" gas

I saw BRYAN ADAMS trending on Twitter. You know the first thing you think of when THAT happens. Something BAD has happened.

Nice to know Bryan is alive and well. He had Tweeted his frustration to fans, over NOT being able to perform due to the pandemic that has shut down theaters and concert halls all over the world.

Since Twitter is loaded up with self-righteous morons, the first thing I saw was NOT Bryan's Tweet to his fans, but preening, pompous, ignorant jerks spreading slander about him, and their own dimwitted self-righteous opinions:

Ah yes, TWITTER, run by Jack "The Ripper" Dorsey, who thrives on wrong-headed rage, "trending" lunacy, hardcore pornography, and sexual predators posting things like "Daddy is looking for submissives." THIS Manson-esque bully:

What did Bryan Adams tweet? I scrolled down, found somebody DEFENDING him, and read the remark:

As Bill Maher did on "Real Time," Bryan (a vegan) pointed out that this plague started because of the "wet market" sale of exotic meat. Fact is, there are crazies who, given the chance, will spurn a normal dinner and happily spoon out the brains of a monkey while it's still alive, chow down on a poisonous fish just for the dare, or chomp on bats, rats and other creatures who live filthy and eat filthy. As we know (DON'T WE???) this is DEADLY, not just for the jerk eating, but for EVERYONE.

It might be one thing for people in poor countries to find ways of consuming protein-rich insects, but hey, if you're going to eat RAT ON A STICK, cook it thoroughly (as you would pork, chicken or lovely farm-raised fish).

Even All-American pig farms and chicken farms can spread disease and sicken people, and there was something called "MAD COW" not too long ago. Many in the health field question our reliance on farm-raised fish and the poor conditions involved and the bad diet given to fatten up the animals. No wonder more people are going vegetarian, if not vegan. (I don't eat meat or poultry...maybe if I had McCartney's chef, I'd go vegan, with lively substitutes for fish and cheese.)

At its least obnoxious, there's salmonella poisoning. You know about that: "Salmonella bacteria typically live in animal and human intestines and are shed through feces. Humans become infected most frequently through contaminated water or food...." While vegans can get sick via bad lettuce, no question, most serious food-related illnesses come from MEAT.

Various politicians have called the pandemic the "Wuhan Flu" or the "Chinese Flu," and been chastised for it. Why "blame" China? Well, why not. You can find Bill Maher's editorial on YouTube -- he rightly points out all the epidemics that have come from China.

Unfortunately, Twitter is loaded with assholes who kneejerk any problem by shouting LIBTARD and SNOWFLAKE or TRUMPY and REDNECK. A favorite self-serving way of letting off steam is that shout of RACIST, to the point where it becomes ludicrous and dilutes the power of the word.

Bryan Adams didn't even mention China. There are idiotic "exotic food" restaurants all over the world, and most of the "gourmets" who eat dangerous meats are not Asian, they are affluent whites.

Also annoying, was how often the low-IQ Tweeties, the ones who can only cry "FUCKWIT" or "RACIST," also took a shot at Bryan Adams for not being Ryan Adams. Some kind of generation gap, I guess. It would be unheard of to like BOTH men's music. It's possible that if RYAN ADAMS tweeted that he was angry some bat-eating idiots caused his shows to be postponed, he would NOT be called a "FUCKWIT" or a "RACIST" because he's on the Billboard charts?

It seems there were quite a few Tweeties who not only did their SJW (social justice warrior) rants about Bryan the "RACIST," but took the opportunity to give a plug to their boy Ryan Adams. OOOH, yeah, you can be a Social Justice Warrior AND a Fanboy Cheerleader at the same time. In under 144 words.

Who knows, perhaps the popularity of Ryan Adams has helped BRYAN Adams get attention, even if "Cuts Like a Knife" was a hit years ago. I remember it, because I was the music editor at OUI at the time, and I interviewed Bryan...

Another guy who had a hit long ago is Andy Pratt. You might remember "Avenging Annie?" After some Twitter controversy or other, he said to me, "It just makes money for Twitter."

And that is the bottom line. Jack "The Ripper" Dorsey gets richer and richer the more people rage on Twitter, and the more they open accounts to be "Daddy" and troll for a runaway to rape. It's ALL good, and it's ALL "freedom of speech." And so it is, that Bryan had people defending him, and others, so pure at heart and so intelligent of mind, calling him a "Racist" and a "Fuckwit."

Bryan will be back in front of paying audiences soon. The cries of "Racist" and "Fuckwit" will have no impact. As my late friend Brother Theodore used to say from the stage: "The dog howling at the moon does not bother the moon. It just makes the dog look like a jackass."

JERRY STILLER ...and ANNE MEARA, too...and a mention for Mort Sahl

Some people in the comedy world don't think of ice cream when they hear "Ben and Jerry." The last name is Stiller.

For five years now, since the passing of Anne Meara, anyone meeting up with Ben would say "How's Jerry doing," and anyone hanging out with Jerry, might casually ask, "So what's Ben up to these days?"

You know that Jerry died the other day, at age 92. Ben's post on Twitter:

Most of the news reports are centering on Jerry's solo sitcom work. Some under 40 probably haven't a clue that one of the biggest stand-up comedy teams of all time was "Stiller and Meara," darlings of "The Ed Sullivan Show," and creators of the most enduring ethnic humor since "Abie's Irish Rose" (what, what's that...)

Sullivan, and his audience, couldn't get enough of the routines that featured the budding romance of Mr. Horowitz and Ms. Doyle. Of course their comedy albums included a lot of other comedy material as well. Their second comedy album, though, traded heavily on their success on the Sunday night show, and was even titled "ED SULLIVAN PRESENTS..."

For the record (weak pun intended), their first album was on Verve, and their third, on Atlantic, was something pretty unusual: "Laugh When You Like." It was recorded "naturally," without an audience. Both have been issued on CD.

Stiller & Meara. Such nice people. They were down to earth. Acted like they were just "from the neighborhood," which of course wasn't acting. In fact they remained "neighborhood" people in New York City, living in an apartment on the West Side, and hardly hiding from the strollers heading to Lincoln Center or up to Zabar's.

Or to Broadway. I remember seeing them during intermission of a play I don't remember. Julie Newmar was in town, and we would always go to a few plays. Julie was the one who spotted Jerry and Anne first. I said, "Would you like me to introduce you?" And off we went. The little chat ended as people began to head back to their seats and out of the cold. How...cold...was it? A little breezy. Helpful Anne said, "Come on Julie, it's time we get back inside. You'll freeze your little behind off. (Envious pause) And I do mean little!"

Another time, and it was a fun remark from Jerry. Mort Sahl was in town, playing three or four evenings at a venue in Greenwich Village. To the surprise of quite a few Sahl-watchers, Mort had physically changed thanks to a nose job. The lack of prominence was just prominent enough for the New York Times reviewer to casually remark that for some reason, Mort was looking like Jerry Stiller.

Another surprise was that Mort actually had a brief Q&A session with the audience. Stiller and Meara were in the audience, and Jerry raised his hand. He stood up, and he said, "I don't have a question, I just have a comment. I read the New York Times piece. I just want to say that you're a very good looking guy!"

Enough people had read the Times piece for this to get a very good laugh, and a barking chuckle from Mort. And...oh yes, Jerry and Anne asked if I'd take a photo of them with him...

The obits can provide a lot of detail on Jerry's long and varied career as an actor. My books "Stars of Stand-Up" and "Who's Who in Comedy" can give you some bio material and detail on Stiller and Meara, and "Comedy on Record" and "Goldmine Comedy Record Price Guide" have the details on their albums, including their guest appearance on Shelley Berman's wonderful studio album of sketches, "Sex Life of the Primate." The highlight is Anne as a sex education teacher, and Jerry (and Shelley) as the very young pupils with embarrassing questions.

When my first book was published, the food poem collection "Let Peas Be With You," I figured it was just comical and silly enough that Jerry and Anne might find it amusing. I was so delighted and gratified when they offered what we call a "pull quote," that could be used for promotion. Modesty forbids me from quoting it here, as this piece is about Stiller and Meara, not me, but in the last paragraph, they mentioned that they enjoyed all the poems and...were very glad that I hadn't written about the one thing they would NOT find palatable...SUSHI!

OK, over some creamed herring, or lox and cream cheese on a bagel...I'll be listening to the enduring humor of Stiller & Meara on record. And you can find some Stiller & Meara via the usual suspects, including YouTube...and solo Anne and Jerry as well. They are forever.

AN EBAY DICK GETS A SUCKER EVERY MINUTE - FDC Edgar Allan Poe cachet, anyone?

Should I trademark that phrase? It's so accurate it could be on t-shirts and bumper stickers.

A sucker is born every minute? On Ebay...

AN EBAY DICK GETS A SUCKER EVERY MINUTE.

There are people selling forgeries. Counterfeits. And here, a dubious "collectors item" that is actually just self-printed:

"Oooh, isn't this one of them FDC Cachets? FDC meaning "FIRST DAY COVER" (although "FIRST DAY OF ISSUE" is a synonym) and Cachet meaning a colorful envelope?"

No, not exactly. What you see above is just an eBay trick. Spoof. Puffery. MAYBE a collectors item if you like to just collect envelopes that somebody grinded through a printer.

THIS is a real FDC Cachet:

"Hmmm...now, the one up top, $3.00 and $2.00 postage...isn't that a real stamp?"

Yes, that's about ALL that is real about it. But notice the date on it. It's a "First Date of Issue" from September 9, 2015. All the seller did was pay the price of the stamp and buy dozens upon dozens of these. The stamp has nothing to do with Poe, and commemorates nothing. The envelope was shoved into a printer and the Poe artwork and quote (and signature) added.

Look at the SECOND item. It's also $3.00 (but only .85 cents shipping). Notice that it's got a REAL Edgar Allan Poe stamp, and that it was canceled at Richmond, Virginia, October 7, 1949. REAL collectors item FDCs have a commemorative stamp that matches the cachet. The location is meaningful, deliberately chosen by the United States Post Office. Poe lived in Richmond for many years.

There's also a big difference between a PROFESSIONALLY PRINTED ENVELOPE and something "computer generated" (ie, spat out of an inkjet printer or laser printer). It's like the difference between an 8x10 original movie still and a computer print-out on inkjet photo paper.

"Well, why does EBAY allow somebody to sell something that really doesn't seem to be worth ANYTHING?"

Because they want to make money, as does the seller. The seller in this case offers some "fine print" that a gullible newbie stamp collector, or an Edgar Allan Poe fan will happily ignore:

Yes, CAVEAT EMPTOR.

Some delusional people might actually think, "one day this will be valuable!" Why? Anyone can make a copy of this artwork and print it on an envelope that has a stamp on it, especially a stamp totally UNRELATED to the subject of the artwork.

Stamp collecting is a dying hobby. It's boring. It's static. Hell, why should any young collector bother with stamps when a fortune can be made in sneakers? Or video game cartridges? Or deliberately small limited-edition Harry Potter or Star Wars cards??

Any fan of Edgar Allan Poe, or any elderly stamp collector, can easily buy a sheet of 1949 Poe commemoratives for only a few dollars above list price. FDC's can be had for as low as a dollar if it's just a canceled stamp on a plain envelope. A "cachet," an envelope with a drawing on it that matches in spirit the actual U.S. stamp, can maybe sell for $2.00 or $3.00 (as you see here).

The concept of a collectible cachet was invented and popularized by George Ward Linn, who started the game in 1923. Several companies began making cachets, and for the 1949 Poe, issued during the prime of cachet collecting, you can get plenty of varieties including:

Art Craft was one of the major companies and they're now out of business. Many are. Part of the reason is the U.S. Post Office makes their own FDC collectors item, and the other reason is nobody much cares. On eBay, the majority of REAL cachets go for under $3.00, and that also applies to those who simply grind pictures onto ordinary stamped and canceled FDC envelopes, and lure fans who gotta have ANYTHING with a particular famous person's face on it. Since most intellectual property owners don't care about these nickel and dime (and three dollar) weasels, Coverscape, for example, will take their generic FDC envelopes and festoon them with whoever might have a few "gotta have it" fans -- Jimmy Stewart, Yogi Berra, Bob Hope, etc. etc.

Technically, there's nothing TOO illegal about inventing a collectors item. If George Ward Linn could do it in 1923, Coverscape and anyone else can do it in 2020. Especially since the post office generally puts DEAD people on their stamps. Would the estates of Jimmy Stewart, Yogi Berra or Bob Hope object? They could, but obviously, they don't care about suckers being taken by dubious collectors items. They might even sympathize with a fan so obsessed that even a picture spat from an HP printer onto an envelope is cherished.

As the author of "Poe in the Media," I do have somewhat of a collection of Poe material, including record albums and, yes, a few 1949 FDC's. The Coverscape envelope? Nah, I could always just make one of those myself in Photoshop and print it onto an envelope. It might be cute and spooky. Printing up some just to sell on eBay for three bucks, to people who might think they could actually sell 'em someday for more? No, that would be creepy.

Of The Wall Street Journal, The Three Stooges and "KNUCKLEHEADS"

The puff piece isn't dead. You'd think it would be, since so many magazines and newspapers have gone belly-up. Who is PAYING writers to knock off time-waster candy floss?

Happily, there are a FEW affluent outlets out there. On radio, of course, there's the sublimely irrelevant NPR, where most any hour you can find somebody with a mopey, murmuring voice mewling about some trivia or other...why there's no grapes in Grape Nuts...whether Schubert died of syphillis...whether Schubert died of undigested Grape Nuts...

Then there's The Wall Street Journal. Hey, affluent stockbrokers, landlords and bankers, and Hedge Fund weasels might want to pause from their chicanery, or sniffing a line off the front page, to read something they can laugh at? I mean, besides the foreclosure letters the secretary had 'em sign, the Chapter 11 forms that relieve them on debts and let them rack up more, or reading over contracts to make sure the fine print is hard to read and the fool who signs it doesn't realize how much money he WON'T get...

Ah. The New Jersey Governor used the term "Knucklehead." Cue an article filled with a) a huge photo of The Three Stooges (ok, always welcome) and b) an easily Googled bit of research on the ORIGIN of the term. Here you go. (PS, affluent people don't mind subscribing to The Wall Street Journal online and getting ALL these fine, fine features. Everyone else is either limited to one or two articles a month, or maybe a warning that NOTHING is available as long as you use Adblocker to help your eyes from going bloodshot).

Here then, nice and puffy:

Only in the rather dry world of the Wall Street Journal, would ANY politician in general, and the GOVERNOR OF NEW JERSEY in particular, be admirably quoted as some kind of Will Rogers of wit and wisdom for "pushing back" against another dull-ass politician and defending the use of a nearly archaic word from 1930's movies.

Oh yes, and if you're going to reference The Three Stooges, dig down deep into that lame pocket of cliche, and in your piece with a last word from Curly.

Nyuk nyuk nyuk.