Sunday, September 28, 2014

The "Andy Kaufman Alive" Story that Won't DIE

DIE already. DIE. Leave it to the New York Post to huckster a new book with this provocative headline:

We're supposed to forgive Bob Zmuda for this tasteless game-playing because hoaxing is in the spirit of Andy Kaufman?

Right, so is not being funny.

Andy Kaufman was a great comedian...if you didn't have to see him. It's hilarious to hear how he did his laundry on stage. Stood there and spoke gibberish. Got into rages and ended up getting wrestled to the ground by women who were too big for him to handle. Yeah, he was loaded with "zany" antics.

Let's not forget the Tony Clifton bit. He'd act like a crappy lounge singer and insist he WAS a crappy lounge singer. He'd never break character. Wow, what a vision the man had.

Let's remember he had a bit of the Steve Martin "wild and crazy guy" vibe...there was anti-comedy in the air. It's just that nobody fouled the air quite like Kaufman.

If you were paying to sit in a dirty nightclub where you were being pestered by a waitress to drink up the minimum and keep going...you would've walked out on this guy 10 seconds after be began to lip-sync to the theme for "Mighty Mouse" cartoons.

He was, in a word, an asshole.

OK, a vulnerable, lovable asshole. Maybe. But still an asshole. A mutation on the world of the neurotic Jewish desperate-for-attention comic. But really, enough is enough.

Not too long ago, some idiot relative of Kaufman had the nerve to float the "Andy is Alive" stuff again, and eventually apologized. Now?

Now there's a BOOK. So let's flog this over again.

Toward the end of the New York Post;s happy shilling for the book, we come to the real deal.

The book does include the "alternate" theory is that Kaufman is dead. Well, yes. Because he is. You don't fool the L.A. coroner. A comedian/asshole is not going to have the skills to find a "similar body" and make it seem like his. There's such a thing as fingerprints and dental records.

Space is given to the proposal that Kaufman is dead...BUT...and here's another selling point...he was bi-sexual.

Oooh! The gays can claim ANOTHER celebrity! Come on gays, go out there and buy the book! You're an affluent lot. Read all about it.

Andy was a weirdo and a misogynist, so nobody would be surprised he paid for whores whenever he was in Vegas. He lacked the skills to have a decent relationship with a woman, and probably preferred throwing down money to do what he wanted and leave.

The story here is he was also prone to picking up men (not that there's anything wrong with that). We're told the public hasn't heard this before, because Andy never wanted his parents to find out his secret. Now that they're dead, this fact could be included in the book. Ok.

The big deal in this latest attempt at keeping the great Andy Kaufman legacy in front of us, (aside from the silly "he's not dead" stuff) is that if he died, it was of AIDS, and not cancer. So now he can be a martyr that gays can get behind.

The fact is, nobody dies of AIDS. Right? They die of symptoms caused by the AIDS virus, which affects the immune system. I've unfortunately seen quite a few AIDS patients sitting in hospital beds with carcinomas and hideous skin conditions. So yes, it's entirely possible that Kaufman died of cancer, at a very young age, not because he smoked, but because he had unprotected gay sex.

I suppose another bit of spin-doctoring would be to call him a "performance artist" now, and not a comedian. It's trendier, and it's more truthful. A "performance artist" doesn't necessarily have to get laughs. And if he doesn't, he has an excuse. He's not a comedian.

Bottom line and bitter end: Andy Kauffman is still dead.

And that's tragic.

So were his attempts at being funny.

No comments:

Post a Comment