Sunday, October 19, 2014

David Letterman Feud: "Big Ink" TONY MENDEZ FIRED FOR ROUGHING UP BILL SCHEFT

The headline of today's NY POST is "The Hate Show." Well, that's Post hyperbole. "Big Ink" Mendez was just "big irked." But when you go after a co-worker, you go. The Post website had this more demure photo:

Isn't it nice to know that EVERY office is the same? Inter-office feuds and rivalries surface and somebody gets fired.

Actually it goes back to EVERY schoolroom, where the classmates scuffle and the teacher doesn't care who started it.

It doesn't surprise me that Tony Mendez finally went too far. He was one of the few people on the "Late Show" staff who didn't treat Dave with kid gloves. I remember being in the infamous "Hello Deli" one afternoon, and some fans were waiting for sandwiches. One of them grumbled that Dave was behind Jay Leno in the ratings: "What can he do about it?"

A voice said, "He could try being funny."

Heads turned. It was Tony Mendez talking. Naughty, naughty! Someone told him he should be careful with remarks like that! Mendez just shrugged and said, "It's true." Apparently Mendez had become so adept at re-ordering the cue cards and sometimes helping to choose which re-write punchline was best, that he could appraise the current quality of Dave's material.

Over the years, Letterman's prickly remarks about "Inky Mendez" the "cue card BOY," gave way to a more respectful nickname of "Big Ink," and running gags about the excitable Cuban throwing down his cards and "cursing" in Spanish and walking out.

A former dancer in Broadway shows, Mendez had long ago learned to snit proudly. He eventually got his own YouTube channel and routines on the "Late Show" website, and while some people faded away (Biff Henderson, and Rupert Jee) there was always room for some byplay with "Big Ink" from time to time.

No question, if you do it right, an irreverent attitude toward The Big Guy can work in your favor. Ask Ricky Gervais, Billy Crystal, Martin Short and Tom Hanks among others. Dave is often "asking for it," enjoying planned bits where Alan Kalter calls him "Duck face," or the Top 10 list somehow is full of jokes about Dave's age. He seemed to be thrilled when Cher called him an asshole.

Mendez seemed to be doing it right. He told the NY Post, “We tell each other ‘Fuck you’ and ‘Hey asshole.’ He doesn’t do that with anybody — but he feels comfortable with me. That brings a bit of normalcy — because everyone else is like, ‘Yes, yes, Mr. Letterman. If you want something impossible, yes, we’ll do it, Mr. Letterman.’"

Tony Mendez never just "inked" cards. He was involved in the last-minute re-shuffling of the monologue and the ever-perfectionist re-writing of punchlines. He claimed, “If I realize one of the jokes needs the setup for the punch line because one of the jokes before it got cut, I have to write something really fast there. Dave doesn’t like to repeat the setup.”

Bill Scheft, the closest thing to an Ed McMahon this Carson wanna-be has, is not just the head writer. He stands off camera giving Dave some security and confidence...that if there's any problem, he's got a back-up wiseguy to throw out a funny line or help salvage a chaotic situation. Dave isn't going to rely on a mere producer that way.

Scheft's ability to ingratiate himself, seem irreplaceable, and to dictate to Mendez and take credit for the way the cards were assembled, got to be too much:

“As Dave is giving me a change, Bill will start yelling the same change — but his own version — because he’ll think it’s funnier. And I have to say, ‘One at a time, I can’t hear anybody...I know what I'm doing. Get off my back."

After an outburst from Tony, Dave had enough. Like the boss he is, and also like any school teacher trying to maintain order between the teacher's pet and one of the wiseguys, Dave called out, "Tony, your sour disposition isn't helping."

Tony fired back, "You're the one who has the sour disposition, motherfucker!"

But THAT didn't get him fired.

Overnight, he couldn't get this latest incident out of his mind. He hated that once again, Scheft "was trying to create a wedge between us so Dave would think I was an asshole.” The following morning, Mendez, though smaller and older, came after Scheft, grabbed him by the shirt and pushed him up against a wall.

"He was very surprised. He didn’t say a word. He was cowering, his eyes were real big, he probably peed a little bit on his pants.”

The potential fight was quickly broken up, and Mendez was ultimately told he was through. With less than half a year till "The Late Show" ends its run, the producers also told Mendez that he could keep his health insurance, and even remain on salary. He simply couldn't return after committing an unacceptable act of violence. And Mendez agreed. He has nothing against Dave, but is irritated that he'd been goaded into a power struggle he couldn't win...not against an Emmy-nominated writer and joke-crony Dave needs like a crutch.

That Letterman even had a cue card guy is rather remarkable...but he's a throwback to Carson. Most everyone else, from talk show hosts to newscasters, rely on a TelePrompter.

Mendez vs Scheft is hardly the first anecdote of "trouble in paradise" at the Letterman show, with its mysterious banishings of beloved on-screen stooges, replaced announcers, and, er, uh, the affair with one of the staffers (didn't we wonder why she was getting so much air-time?)

Ironically, Dave's girlfriend, Stephanie, worked on Tony's website show...suggested by Dave. In a memorable appearance together to promote the show, Tony instantly started attacking Stephanie as unprofessional, and she evenly responded by saying he was a diva. Tony also admitted that Dave stopped doing cameos because he "pissed" Dave off too often.

Ultimately it just tells you that Merman sang a lie. No business like show business? No, it's like every other business...there's backstabbing and power games and sudden problems that couldn't be expected and aren't written and approved beforehand. At 69, it's pretty much over for Mendez, but nobody's exactly lining up at Barnes & Noble for a Scheft book signing, and it's a big question whether Letterman will be like Carson or not, and disappear entirely, rather than make a few stoic guest appearances at award shows or on the set of somebody's sitcom.

Ultimately, as Mr. Mendez has shown, the faults lie not in the cards, but in ourselves.

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