Sunday, October 1, 2017

FUN WITH COLIN KAEPERNICK

As we see, everyone's TAKING A KNEE. It's become the new fad. It beats TWERKING.

Why, here's happy country singer Tift Merritt proud of teaching kiddies how to TAKE A KNEE. "Remember kids, the National Anthem is a horribly racist song. The guy who wrote it put racist messages into it. And don't believe that he was a lawyer who once went to court to free slaves!"

It's a good thing everyone's forgotten about Justine Damond, inconveniently shot by Mohamed Noor, a Somali-American Minneapolis Police. Or any other case of injustice or brutality against, oh, women, Latinos, gays, Jews, etc. etc. Or climate change, pollution, hunger, Boko Haram, slavery in Russia, etc. etc. This IS a "one issue" nation, and things won't get better till the National Anthem is replaced by, oh, something by Beyonce.

The NFL is full of sensitive people, you know. They abhor racism, or anything that might be considered offensive. Just ask the Washington REDSKINS.

Meanwhile...

Al seriousness aside, it's important to note that Colin Kaepernick couldn't possibly participate in a march. His knee isn't up to it.

He could've spent the off-season visiting schools and churches and speaking out at rallies. Since he wasn't such a good football player, he probably could've spent some time during the season expressing his opinion via YouTube videos or showing up at a trial where a police officer was accused of injustice. He might've simply sent a thank you note to his white adoptive parents, with a line reading, "You know America isn't THAT bad. Not every white person is racist. I surely don't want to send THAT message all over the world by taking a knee during the National Anthem of my country."

Surely, we ALL agree that when someone has personal beliefs, they should express them. Just ask the fine folks at Boko Haram, Hamas and ISIS.

A lot of cheerful white people are blinking brightly and saying, "This is a GOOD thing. Come on, People, protest is the American way!" To quote the fabulous Sarah Palin, YOU BETCHA!" Damn right. YOU BETCHA!

Hopefully in the future, EVERYONE will take an appropriate moment to talk about what bothers them.

How about, before the Asian waiter bring you that plate of Chow Fon, he takes a knee and says, "Last century, my people were practically slaves, building your damn railroad." And the waiter bringing you sushi? "My grandfather was forced out of his home because some idiots worried he might be a Japanese spy. I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN. I will keep taking this knee till your tempura gets cold!"

How about, before you pay for that pound of hamburger meat, the check-out girl takes a knee and says, "I'd like to take a minute to read to you from this PETA brochure."

Maybe your Indian cab driver will stop in traffic, leave the meter running for a minute and explain his anger over how he gets gets dirty looks from a lot of people who think he's Muslim.

Let's not think that any group has experienced injustice, certainly not the Native Americans who were pushed off every bit of their native land. Hell, they are respected with that beautiful looking mascot for the Cleveland Indians. And in Atlanta they grunt and do the "Tomahawk Chop." That could be more empathetic to the Redskins?

The waiter in the deli? He's ALMOST brought that over-stuffed pastrami sandwich to the table, along with that glass of Cel-Ray, but he's taken a knee. He says, "Did you know that Roger Waters and Peter Gabriel want to starve all the Jews in Israel with sanctions against them? That the little sliver of sand that the Jews have acquired after 2,000 years of persecution, extermination and slavery is in danger of being blown off the map?"

Dick Gregory said, "You see, we ALL have problems."

Everybody is dealing with something. Something that they feel isn't fair.

Or as Rodney Dangerfield put it, "No respect. No respect at all." Anyone see a whole lot of tolerance in this world?

Bob Dylan sang that we should "strengthen the things that remain." Jim Brown, a football player who lived in an era where the NFL was not 70% Black, thought taking a knee was disrespectful.

Perhaps some PC-minded people would think that since 70% of the population is NOT Black, maybe the NFL should show some DIVERSITY, and make it so that no running back was over 150 pounds, and these running backs were Asian, Jewish and Lesbian. Or all three.

George Foreman also thought "taking a knee" disrespectful and divisive. Do you know where "taking a knee" came from? It's in the sport of boxing. If you've been clobbered, you momentarily take a knee, to give yourself 9 seconds to clear your head. Guess what. George Foreman NEVER took a knee. Neither did Ali or Frazier or any of the greats.

Colin Kaepernick's mother went on record saying that taking a knee was not her idea of an effective way of protest. She's white, by the way. His father? He didn't even stick around for Colin's birth. But maybe he was protesting the fact that white women deliberately don't use the Pill when they should, and try to entrap the black man into marriage. Or something.

This is an angry country full of frustrated people. It's easier to hate than to love. It's easier for Colin Kaepernick to tell the world that some cops are quick on the trigger (as if that's a surprise. Ask Justin Damond's friends). It's not so easy for him to tell the world that a white couple raised him as their own and gave him every opportunity to find acceptance and prosperity.

Colin could also protest by changing his name from Colin Kaepernick, which is so WHITE and hard to spell, to COLIN X.

At least go from Kaepernick to Pumpernickel. Remember when Arsenio Hall said he wasn't replacing White Bread Johnny Carson, just giving late night viewers some Pumpernickel?

Nah. Can't go with Colin X; the checks he gets all say Kaepernick. And it would be such an effort to cross that out and put in an X. Like it would be much more effort to march than take a knee.

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