Tuesday, July 21, 2020

Cat Stevens - 72nd Birthday - Celebrate a Lethal Asshole

On Twitter, the social media site for morons, Cat Stevens is trending.

Good for Cat Stevens, or Yusuf, or Giorgio, or whatever he wants to call himself. Good for his mewly, tremble-lipped fans (mostly female and gay). And how fortunate that none of his acolytes had the wrist-strength to actually follow Cat's advice and stab Rushdie, behead him, or whatever it is that followers of Islam do to people who say or write things they don't agree with.

Stevens was a has-been in 1989, an obscure scholarly fellow dressed in a beanie, who had turned his back on such horrible things as soft rock music.

February 21 1989. He's now Yusuf Islam, and giving a lecture on Islam. Hey, why not join this fine, fine religion? Why not learn more about how peaceful it is?

He was asked about the spindly, nasty King of Islam or whatever you want to call him, the bearded prophet of all things Holy, and representative of Allah on Earth. You may remember. The guy who was taking American hostages? Wasn't that him? The guy who wanted to wipe Israel off the face of the Earth? The guy who insisted that anyone not believing as he does, is a heathen and a sub-species? Some SHIT like that?

He was definitely the guy who declared that the writings of Salman Rushdie were a blasphemy punishable by DEATH. You see, this fine, fine religion of peace endorses "FATWA." Somehow not too many religions do. To quote William Shatner in a satiric rap, "What about the men who say 'Do as I do. Believe in what I say, for your own good, or I'll kill you!' I can't get behind that!

Guess who COULD get behind that?

Mr. "Peace Train" that's who.

Someone asked if, in endorsing this religion and turning his back on the name "Cat Stevens," he believed everything his Ayatollah done tol' him. Like Salman Rushdie, an author with possibly more literary skills than he, should be put to death for writing a book?

"He must be killed. The Qur'an makes it clear – if someone defames the prophet, then he must die."

End of sentence. End of Rushdie.

Rushdie went into hiding, and really, for quite a long time, and perhaps even now, he's lived with a slightly more vivid version of "we're all gonna die" than most. Not everyone has to worry that a safe is going to fall on their heads or they'll be run over by a Mister Softee truck. Or that one of the many violent fanatics of Islam will decide that instead of blowing up an Ariana Grande concert or the Boston Marathon, they'll just stalk Rushdie and put an end to him.

This is SERIOUS shit, Mr. Yusuf. Christ, (excuse me), somebody could've killed Rushdie in 1989, and said "Cat Stevens said to do it."

Can you imagine? Stevens would've said, "Who is Cat Stevens? That's not me."

OK, he could've said, "Yes, I'm Yusuf Islam. I said I believe in an old book written before there was toilet paper, microscopes, or we learned that the clouds do not contain angels. Sorry about Rushdie, but if it's in the book, it's in the book. It's really too bad he had to be blasphemous and WRITE SOMETHING MY PEOPLE DIDN'T LIKE."

As you often find with religious fanatics, Cat Yusuf is in his own bubble. On his website:

"I never called for the death of Salman Rushdie; nor backed the Fatwa issued by the Ayatollah Khomeini—and still don’t. The book itself destroyed the harmony between peoples and created an unnecessary international crisis."

He merely said: ""He must be killed. The Qur'an makes it clear – if someone defames the prophet, then he must die."

A decade later, in a Rolling Stone interview, he muttered:

"I'm very sad that this seems to be the Number 1 question people want to discuss. I had nothing to do with the issue other than what the media created."

You remember the Nazi excuse? "We ere just following orders?" Here's Cat Stevens' excuse:

"I was innocently drawn into the whole controversy....At a lecture, back in 1989, I was asked a question about blasphemy according to Islamic Law, I simply repeated the legal view according to my limited knowledge of the Scriptural texts, based directly on historical commentaries of the Qur'an. The next day the newspaper headlines read, "Cat Says, Kill Rushdie." I was abhorred, but what could I do? I was a new Muslim. If you ask a Bible student to quote the legal punishment of a person who commits blasphemy in the Bible, he would be dishonest if he didn't mention Leviticus 24:16."

See? He had a "limited knowledge" of his religion. Except he was advocating murder. You know, if you declare that somebody should be killed, you might be guilty of a crime. Even Facebook and Twitter will throw you off if you declare you think somebody should be killed.

Despite Islamic law, the general law in the world is you DO NOT KILL SOMEBODY FOR WRITING A BOOK.

Aw, forgive and forget. He's really not Yusuf. He's Cat Stevens.

Cat. Cool Cat. He wrote garbage songs like "I Love My Dog." He wrote condescending pedophiliac love songs like: "Oooh baby it's a wild world. I'll always remember you as a CHILD, GIRL."

I remember in a college English class, a Cat Stevens acolyte timidly approaches my teacher, Diane Fortuna, with a copy of "Teat for the Tillerman," or whatever it was called.

"This man is a great poet, I think," said the acolyte.

Prof. Fortuna read some of the lyrics. "He's not a poet," she said. She pretty much dismissed him as a level below a Hallmark Card writer.

Back then, I did think that despite his moronic singing style, which included soft crooning and then raspy frustration, one or two of his items weren't too bad. "Sad Lisa" was one. Something about a girl who cried on his shirt: "She must be hurt very badly. What's making you sadly?"

I dunno, maybe she was crying because some Islamic asshole declared a fatwa on her father.

Damn, she was wetting one of those puffy-sleeve shirts of his, made out of pure silk? She MUST be hurt very badly...rock stars throw groupies like that into the hallway.

Aw, forgive and forget. Remember? That's what Jon Stewart did, and you don't get any more sanctimonious than Jon. The man is a walking bundle of sensitive and bearded nerve-endings. He was part of a rally to (get this) "Restore Sanity in Washington D.C.," and hired Cat Stevens to be there. Yes, Cat Stevens, Mr. Sanity himself, the guy who told the WORLD, not Washington D.C., that if an old religious nutjob declares a man must die, he must DIE.

Rushdie? He told Stewart: "he's not a good guy. It may be that he once sang 'Peace Train'... but he hasn't been Cat Stevens for a long time, you know. He's a different guy now."

To his credit, Jon listened: "I said, 'look, I'm sorry you're upset, but I'm sure the guy isn't really like that. Let me talk to him." Islam said the whole thing was a "misunderstanding", but added "although why do you have to insult the Prophet?" We get into a whole conversation, and it becomes very clear to me that he is straddling two worlds in a very difficult way, and it broke my heart a little bit. I wish I had known (about the 1989 remark)...because that to me is a deal breaker. Death for free speech is a deal breaker."

But Happy Birthday Giorgio-Cat-Yusuf anyway. I'll always remember you like a child, girl.

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