LATE NIGHT FIGHTS TRUMP AND HIS “BLUE STATE” COVID INSANITY

We are no longer in the Johnny Carson era of “let’s forget the day’s problems and joke about Doc’s clothing.” And that’s a good thing. Because things are so SERIOUS we need more COMEDY.

Oh, you can always watch the puppy, Jimmy Fallon, if you want to see people crack eggs on each other, or do spit takes. You can say up for pudgy James Corden who will dress in drag, sit in a car and sing karoake like a schoolgirl, and weep whenever he hears “Penny Lane” or “I Enjoy Being a Girl.” 

But if you want late night with guts, most certainly dial up STEPHEN COLBERT and follow with SETH MEYERS.

The latest outrage from Trump? Among many, his assertion that Covid isn’t a big deal, it’s going away, and it only affects the “BLUE STATES” and so to hell with California and New York anyway. (He may have a point about New Jersey).

Quoth the Orange Man:

“Blue states had tremendous death rates, If you take the blue states out, we’re at a level that I don’t think anybody in the world would be at.”

He called for an end to restrictions on the freedom of the people, telling all governors: “We know the vaccines are coming, so open up your states,” RED or BLUE. 

Stephen Colbert’s reply was to mock Trump and suggest yet another idea: 

"Hey, we know you don’t have any winter clothes yet, but go stumble into the blizzard. I ordered you a parka, it’s supposed to be here between October and next August.”

As for “If you take the blue states out, we’re at a level that I don’t think anybody in the world would be at,” Colbert paused: 

“I’m not entirely sure where to begin there. This is unspeakably monstrous, especially for the president of the United States….This is like being asked to speak at a funeral and saying, ‘We’re here to mourn the passing of Kevin but if you take him out of the equation, this is a pretty good party. I got to ride in a limo!’”

“Also, and I know this is going to shock you, Trump’s wrong! The states with the highest Covid death tolls are New York, New Jersey, Texas, California and Florida, which are of course not coincidentally the states with the largest populations in the country. The highest rate are in all the states Trump won [red states Texas and Florida]. He’s just saying if you don’t count the states with people, he’s done a great job. Forget the presidency – I wouldn’t trust Trump to run a middle school field trip.”

“We’re all human beings. Donald Trump is the only one who doesn’t care whether Americans live or die…There’s big news about the pandemic. THERE STILL IS ONE!” 

“Late Night” had Seth Meyers take a “CLOSER LOOK” at “Caligula” Seth’s word) Trump’s latest insane statements. He said: 

“Things are so insane that we’re skipping past multiple layers of news at once,” Meyers said of the depressing list. “We don’t have time to process the fact that the government has a fucking heat ray because we’ve already moved on to the fact that they considered using it against peaceful protesters. That’s the same weapon the Martians used in The War of the Worlds.”

As for his response to Trump’s assertion that Covid isn’t so bad if you take away the BLUE states:

"By the same token, if you take out all his albums, Kid Rock has had a fantastic career.” And when a witty Mort Sahl type rejoinder isn’t suitable, a Sam Kinison remark is just fine: 

"Go fuck yourself, you rotting, soulless business ham.” 

He also mentioned the government’s thoughts on potentially using a “heat wave ray” to discipline crowds and protests. He noted, “He’s repeatedly claimed a Covid vaccine is right around the corner, while experts say that’s not true.” 

Always capable of seeing both sides, Seth said:  

“I’m sure he’s not our first sociopath president, but he’s definitely the first one who’s open about it. He’s the kid who lights ants on fire for fun.”