Saturday, April 8, 2017

Viewers have tired of Puppy Jimmy Fallon - COLBERT RULES

Here's the big headline of the day:

The obvious reason is TRUMP. Or is it?

Isn't Colbert doing well because people want to hear tired jokes about Trump? Because at 11:35 at night, people have nothing better to do than be reminded Trump is president and he's a dangerous clown? Nitey nite everyone, Colbert told some Trump jokes. Her har.

Perhaps the reason is simply that children get tired of the puppy. "Isn't he CUTE" gives way to "this is getting boring. What do you mean, walk the dog, feed the dog, listen to the dog yip and yap and whine?"

Jimmy Fallon is a puppy.

He's never grown up. He refuses to grow up. He remains Dennis the Menace while his scowling Mr. Wilson announcer stands around regarding him with doleful scorn. His hip band tolerates him in an uncomfortable way that suggests the hired help indulging a brat.

When Fallon took over "The Tonight Show" because Jay Leno was old (#1 but old), nobody bitched and moaned about ageism. Nobody said that Fallon had pushed Leno out of the job by doing exactly what Conan O'Brien did: insinuate that he'd bolt to another network and become the competition.

People said, "HOORAY! We just LOVE the idea of a guy doing lip sync routines. We just LOVE the idea of a guy pulling shit off Twitter every week and reading HASHTAGS of stuff amateurs have submitted. We just LOVE the idea that since air headed Millennials have nothing to say, Fallon will play stupid games with them instead, turning "The Tonight Show" into a sick combo of "Password" and "Beat the Clock."

What else? We just LOVE that Jimmy can do an impression of Neil Young (as if a million other people can't do that) and he can put on a bad wig and do Donald Trump (as if a million other people can't do that). He can also imitate an irritatingly inarticulate Valley Girl-type (nobody really wants to do that, although James Corden probably does it when the wife is out of town and the show tunes are blasting).

Like every other talk show host, Fallon "borrowed" from his competition. Letterman used to show bad album covers and play tracks from bad records. Fallon does that, too. Conan had the masturbating bear, and Fallon has some annoying jerk in a panda suit who dances around a lot. Har har.

Isn't it possible that the decline in Fallon's ratings is not simply because people want more Trump jokes? Could it be that they are simply tired of Fallon's non-jokes?

It hasn't taken Fallon too long to fall into the "I'm sick of this shit myself" attitude that Letterman, Craig Ferguson and Conan O'Brien all have. Letterman indulged in sadistic repetition, as did Ferguson. Conan simply insists on touching his nipple every night, doing the "string dance," and daring his loyal followers to tell him he's being an utter asshole. Fallon? He'll seize on a word he thinks is funny, and repeat it and repeat it and repeat it, in a variety of gooey, idiotic nasal voices. His owlish Mr. Wilson keeper, Steve, will join in and repeat it over and over again as well.

NOBODY else is laughing, but that's not the point. It's a "network time killer" (to use a Letterman phrase) and it's been part of Fallon's bragging rights: I can do ANYTHING and people will watch.

That's no longer the case.

This by no means an endorsement of Colbert. I don't watch Colbert. If I feel like watching something at 11:35 it's Kimmel.

The solution? It's time for the puppy to GROW UP. Start interviewing people. Stop with the frat-boy bullshit. Anybody can go on Twitter and start reading wisecracks. Anybody can go into a bar and play stupid games. Some nights, the alternative to Fallon would be going into a local bodega and scratching off Lotto cards. If you're a loyal customer, the dubious Latino behind the counter will be like Steve or The Roots and laugh encouragement as long as you're paying.

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