Piers Morgan, the Asshole Who Can't Say ARSE

The Daily News reported today that most everyone is happy Piers Morgan, the noted provocateur and tabloid newspaper editor, fell and broke three ribs.

The story quoted a Tweet in which Piers said he fell on his "a**e." Which had me briefly wondering WHAT the ASS-terisks were hiding. Ah. He's British. It must be ARSE.

The weird world of MEDIA spins interests me. I'm also baffled by the strange ways in which we are tremendously permissive in showing Kardashian's ass or ogling Hadid's chest or checking out Bieber's dick...but at the same time cringing and bowing to anyone "offended" by mere words.

How is it that the Internet is free to let even 8 year-olds see all the porn they want, and all the racist and rotten (dot com) pictures of cruelty and sadism and Sharon Tate morgue pictures and beheading videos...and yet everyone goes into a rage because somebody wants to remove a statue of Robert E. Lee because mindless rednecks use it to recruit more Nazis into their secret basement hate-parties.

So, did the Daily News actually censor the word ARSE or did Piers Morgan do it?

Backtracking through Twitter:

Morgan did it. Piers Morgan self-censored himself! Didn't this guy work for a newspaper that routinely published topless pictures of the Woman of the Day? Now he's afraid to use a word that AUDREY HEPBURN spoke in "My Fair Lady" over FIFTY years ago? ARSE is on the "No No" list?

I can understand the Daily News censoring CUNT. The Twitter user who called Morgan a CUNT ended up calling him a C**T according to the Daily News. Naive readers might have thought, "Oh, Morgan is a Colt?" I've been watching the slow-but-sure censoring of various mild epithets. The media is often prone to censor "The B Word." It would OFFEND feminists to say BITCH, which is simply used to connote an obnoxious or barking mad or evil woman who is behaving like a female dog? The media is creating an alphabet of euphemisms, as various groups growl and grind their teeth over what OFFENDS them. We're going to run out of initials. We've got "The C Word" and "The F Bomb" and the "N" word and the "S" word, and many have added "The B Word" and the "A Word" (ass or arse) and hey, we already are having duplication. "The F Word" in some contexts, is FAG not FUCK. There's "The P Word" that sometimes is disallowed even when talking about a cat. And on it goes. Somehow, the same media that doesn't think twice, and doesn't think at all, about showing a burn victim, a beheading, and almost any act of cruelty on the front page (with no spoiler alert for those having lunch) a simple word like "arse" is censored because it might upset somebody.

There's still a lot of confusion. Conan O'Brien on WTBS, can say SHIT but not FUCK. The latter is censored. This recalls the old Lenny Bruce gag that Priests and Rabbis have a different take on these two words. SHIT is ok, because both the Priest and Rabbi shit. But only ONE of them FUCKS.