Me and the neighbors were out with our shovels, digging the cars out, pulling shivering mice out of the exhaust pipes.
Oh, my, and those driveways! Uncle Spud has the Troy-Bilt Storm Tracker 2890 Snow Blower, the one with the 4-Cycle Engine, and he was kindly helping cut paths for everybody on the block, from the sidewalk to the front door. He did run over somebody's dog, but the dog was already frozen solid, and bent one of the snow blower blades. That's what you get for doin' good deeds!
While the kids were building the snowman and putting the carrot in the wrong place, some of us looked in on the Widow Flapps, to make sure she had enough Ovaltine and Depends.
Lord, we all stick together in a crisis, which does your heart good. Around here the snow doesn't melt for DAYS, so a lot of people say they will take Friday off and just stay indoors and make obscene phone calls.
And I think I saw Louis CK outside...but maybe not. Why would he have a shovel in his hand? That's not what he likes to use.
Oh. I'm not fooling anyone, am I? Trying to pretend I'm upstate, in New Jersey somewhere, in Queens or on Long Island...and showing empathy. Showing empathy is like Kim Kardashian showing her ass. BORING.
To whoever is actually in the photo above...LOCATION! LOCATION! LOCATION. You friggin' Eskimos.
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