"Sweet Caroline" the stupid song sung by mindless morons at Sports Events. WHY???

The Joshua-Parker fight was nearly ruined before it began: "Sweet Caroline" was sung. As if it was the National Anthem. Of what? Insane Asylums? Sweet Shoppes?

As Michael Buffer, the ring announcer, waved his hands to encourage the morons, some 80,000 hooligans and halfwits sang "Sweet Caroline...OI OI OI..." for NO REASON THAT ANYONE ON THIS EARTH CAN FATHOM.

Joshua and Parker are heavyweight champions. They are not a girl and boy in love. Neither has CAROLINE for a first name.

In case you only know the catchy-numbing four notes ("Sweet Ca-ro-line") and the three farty unsung notes that follow it, here's some of the trite (we're talking Neil Diamond) lyrics.

What these lyrics have to do with football, soccer, baseball or boxing...is IMPOSSIBLE to figure:

"Hands, touching hands
Reaching out, touching me, touching you
Sweet Caroline
Good times never seemed so good
I'd be inclined
To believe they never would
But now I look at the night
and it don't seem so lonely
We filled it up with only two
And when I hurt
Hurting runs off my shoulders
How can I hurt when I'm holding you

Yeah?

SO?

Find whoever is insisting on "SWEET CAROLINE" being played at boxing matches, and have that person PUNCHED by Anthony Joshua, the way Anthony Joshua punched Joseph Parker.

The best I can say for this trite trot up and down the scales is that it makes slightly more sense than another of Diamond's Pop Farts..."Cracklin' Rosie." What makes Rosie "crackle" I don't really want to know.

I figured...wrongly...that Wikipedia would tell me what I was missing here. WHY, OH WHY OH WIKIPEDIA, do drunken jackasses in stadiums have to bellow a Neil Diamond song men work up enough of a stink to repel any Caroline, Rosie, or even a female border collie?

Wikipedia says:

"The playing of "Sweet Caroline" has become a fixture at many sporting events in the United States. In this version, the horn figure after Diamond sings "Sweet Caroline" in the chorus is replaced by the crowd singing "Bap Bap Bah”, and after he sings "Good times never seemed so good," the crowd sings "So good, so good, so good." This pattern is repeated whenever the chorus is played."

Among the events:

"The song is played at the start of the fourth quarter of Pittsburgh Panthers Football games at Heinz Field. In response, West Virginia University students and fans will yell "eat shit, Pitt" during the refrain..."

According to Wikipedia, the inanely catchy song was supposedly inspired by Caroline Kennedy. Neil Diamond apparently said as much in one interview, but in another, simply said it was a song to his wife, and he needed another name, one with three syllables. (No, her name isn't Cracklin' Rosie either, it's Marsha.)

This irritating skip-and-mince song, which no woman named Caroline would ever find romantic or appealing, is played at:

Boston Red Sox games. At Penn State football games. At sports events at the University of North Carolina. Any time the Carolina Panthers win a game. Any time the Castleford Tigers (a rugby team in the UK) win. It's played at Sydney Swans (cricket) home games. It has relentlessly turned up at boxing matches, British football (soccer) matches, and has even resisted scandal. Yes, when Penn State was in the midst of Coach Sandusky's pedophilia trial, the song was TEMPORARILY banned in 2012 due to the suggestive lines "Hands, touching hands, reaching out, touching me, touching you." Once Sandusky was jailed for doing more than "reaching out" to naked male teens in the shower, Penn State figured all should be forgiven. PS, "Oh, I love my Rosie child She got the way to make me happy" is a line from "Cracklin' Rosie," which SHOULD make it a must-play for any number of sports teams loaded with sex offenders.

It is vaguely understandable with the New York Yankees ruin every win by piping in Sinatra singing "Start spreading the news. I'm leaving today..." but coming around to growling about the city that never sleeps...New York New York."

It's unfortunate that at boxing matches, the action often has to wait until both fighters, from different countries, have their national anthems fractured. (Parker, a Samoan living in New Zealand, had a woman sing BOTH the national anthem of Samoa AND the national anthem of New Zealand...put it this way, it would take less time to fly to New Zealand than here both of these awful and interminable tunes.)

WHY "Sweet Caroline" has to be inflicted remains as much of a mystery as why it isn't a national law that people must clean up after their dogs shit on the sidewalk.