Tuesday, December 3, 2019

Defending the Caveman: America's Got Talent meanie Simon Cowell vs Howard Stern

Look, there's a LOT wrong with "America's Got Talent" and the rest of the bogus "GOT TALENT" shows. They are contrived and manipulative and shady in many ways, ranging from obviously faked judge reactions to collusion camera-work that makes magicians look more competent than they are.

But the notion that there's something sexist about the firing of two female judges after the first season? NAH.

Just because Howard Stern says so doesn't make it so. Really.

Howard's a shock jock. This is good publicity for him. It's fun to hear him be opinionated. But...he's wrong.

Simon Cowell gets rid of women because they get old? Christ, he kept Mel B. and Heidi Klum on the show for years and years and years. Mel B's dopey catch-phrase "OFF THE CHAIN" got old long before she got her first gray pubic hair.

(Oh, nevermind, she probably shaves).

Across the pond, Simon is also the Svengali and host of the original "Britain's Got Talent." He's had the same two women on THAT show for...YEARS and YEARS and YEARS.

You know what the big difference is between those two shows? Britain's Got Talent is still a ratings monster. It had some all-time high ratings this year. America's Got Talent has continued to slide.

When ratings slide, you have to do something. For whatever reason, Cowell and his pals decided it wasn't worth giving the two latest chicks a chance to push the ratings up. What's wrong with that? Both female judges were surprisingly calm and astute in their judging. That didn't seem to be the problem. If they weren't eye-catching enough to boost ratings during the ENTIRE SUMMER, forget it. Get two more.

The black judge sometimes chose "ethnic" clothing styles and "OFF THE CHAIN" wigs. The producers weren't sure if this was turning off viewers, taking attention away from the other judges, or something else.

But racism? That's hard to do when the hosts of the show for over a decade have ALL BEEN BLACK. That includes Tyra Banks, Mr. Mariah Carey, and the newest host, Terry Crews.

Racism? The show has tons of black contestants and many are fawned on well beyond their talent. The jivey comic "Pracher Lawson" would be an example of that. If somebody black can play a violin, everyone goes nuts. Every year all-black "dance" groups make the Top 10. The American demographic is that the country is becoming more "of color" every year. In New York City, whites are the minority. Racism is a stupid, stupid charge.

The fact that both women were booted would tend to prove that.

But it's so PC to flog the removal of the black female judge because...uh...it's PC. The most ridiculous charge leveled at Cowell and Company is that they got upset because this uppity chick blew the whistle on Jay Leno for telling a goofy "anti-Korean" joke:

I've said it before and I'll say it again. STOP BITCHING ABOUT COMEDIANS. Their job is to joke. An ad-lib now and again is going to fizzle, or be in poor taste. Is anyone suggesting Leno is a racist? OF COURSE NOT. He told a joke that may or may not have been edited out with or without a complaint from one of the judges. Really, this is an executive decision, and one doesn't necessarily want ANY of the judges t constantly be bitching and bitching and bitching about what she finds offensive, or wants changed or edited. Judge the fucking show and shut the fuck up. Especially in your first year.

It also needs to be said that Leno was not referring to Koreans in America. He was obviously referring to South Koreans who, according to a South Korean animal rights group, eat 750,000 to a MILLION dogs a year.

PS, is that so bad? There are too many dogs as it is. Better to eat them than to gather them up and gas them, as we do in America.

Cowell has inflicted boy bands on the world who should've stayed in school. He's put an evil sheen on his "Got Talent" shows like the glinting cyanide on a poisoned apple. But I don't think the firing of two first-season judges is a big deal. And, IF I'M BEING HONEST, to use a phrase often heard by Cowell, the man has actually mellowed quite a bit. He's got a kid now, he's reached an age when he sees the bigger picture, and his schtick of being snarky without offering anything constructive got old, too, and he knows it.

Howard Stern, around the same age as Cowell, is still spouting his opinions and shaking things up? Yes, that's gotten pretty old, too, but it's still amusing. It's just not necessarily the truth.

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