To honor the New Year, our beloved Yolk apparently ran a full page ad in The New York Times. It's the same half-optimistic half-chiding message as always. (And did the Yolk think it up or did John? I think it was John, wasn't it?)
So, what DOES this accomplish, my soft-boiled Yoko?
You think everybody in ISIS reads The New York Times? You think Pooty-Putin, Ass Assad or Kim Jong-fat will suddenly give a shout of "INSTANT KARMA" and change?
On the positive side, "The Old Gray Lady" (as the Times is affectionately called) gets some money it needs to keep a staff of actual reporters. And what do they report on most often? WAR.
What else?
Yoko also Tweeted, in various languages, "Imagine Peace."
Well, yes, that's something we can IMAGINE.
I do love this woman. She's still optimistic, imagine that!
She also retweeted BOY GEORGE for defending her against the "All she does is Scream" cliche.
You know GEORGE...he's the annoying 80's jerk who DIDN'T die a few weeks ago.
THIS George is very much alive and...kissing her ass (a woman's ass, really?) He told his followers that thanks to re-IMAGINING her work (what, with BEATS and vocoders at the ready), some Millennial musicians have made Yoko's music more accessible.
Well, like "War is Over If You Want It," the "Yoko does NOT just scream" line is well-intentioned.
Except, what the fuck is wrong with Yoko's screaming? Check the famous names on her first album. Starr. Coltrane. Many more. I used to pay "Why" on my radio show, and I thought it was as valid as Velvet Underground or Frank Zappa.
As for "Yoko just screams," I'd often play "Who Has Seen the Wind" and "Listen The Snow is Falling," and the stark "Mrs. Lennon." When "Approximately Infinite Universe" came out, I played several of her protest songs, which were just as valid as Dylan. One of them was "What a Mess." I still remember from memory: "If you keep hammering anti-abortion, we'll tell you no more masturbation for men. Every day you're killing living sperms by billions, so how do you feel about that, brother?"
And no, I don't think the title is a reference to the result of masturbation, but isn't it pretty to think so?
That album also had the ORIGINAL version of "Death of Samantha."
Is the LIVING GEORGE pointing to that? Nope, he's pointing to the "re-worked" version with Porcupine Tree. He also urges people to have an "open mind" about music. As opposed to having no mind at all, and liking his stuff. What next, GEORGE, you want to mention Miles Davis? George Crumb? The Gamalan Monkey Chant? George Harrison's "Electronic Music" album? Keep an open mind, and check out my album, "Ha Ha Halloween," available NOW on Amazon.
Is this guy still doing community service for crimes in New York City? Is he still out on the streets sweeping dirt and putting garbage into a can? Has he NOT been in a disco in the past five years, and has he been denied access to Billboard magazine?
Maybe George and his fans don't know it, but Yoko has been validated via "re-worked" and "modernized" versions of her songs pre-Porcupine, and is the oldest person to be #1 on the dance charts.
The LIVING GEORGE can't possibly have any fans under 40. Surely most know of the "Double Fantasy" album, and "Kiss Kiss Kiss" or "Every Man Has a Woman Who Loves Him." A little while later, and she recorded "Walking on Thin Ice," an amazing, moving song. Jeez, you want to point to a limited vocalist, you could as easily complain about Ringo. Or Boy George. Has he also not listened to Yoko's cover version of "Hedwig's Lament/Exquisite Corpse," on the "Wig in a Box" album? True, her screaming is not endurable for more than a song or two at a time, but tell me a drum solo is endurable for more than a few minutes! Fact is, Yoko Ono IS a versatile singer and has written some great songs. Do we need the LIVING GEORGE to validate that? How sad if we do.
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