Two of the most moronic "news" stories hit the Internet today. I'm not sure which is more insulting or ridiculous.
Natarsha Belling, who was probably unknown to most of the world, became a "sensation" to children everywhere, and adults who think like 12 year-olds.
Guffaw, guffaw, "YOU CAN'T UNSEE IT!" Har Har. "You can't make this stuff up! It happened! LOL!"
PS, any guy out there who has a black tip on his penis should see a doctor right away.
Meanwhile in California, Howie Mandel called attention to himself by happily showing off some hack comic's "prank" on him, which involved spending money for the worthless gag of dumping toilet paper on his home. How much paper was wasted on a stunt that 12 year-olds have pulled every Halloween for decades?
To use a cliche punchline, "This is why American's are hated all over the world." Wasn't it Sheryl Crow who got LOTS of laughs by promoting the use of "one square of toilet paper" in order to help the environment?
Social-disease media began to pop pimples over this, and it seemed every drive-time radio station website, every TMZ-type Facebook page picked up on it breathlessly. Yeah? As if this was something original? Witty?
By this standard, Howie Mandel really missed out by not crashing Lesley Gore's funeral, and telling his HILARIOUS old 1988 joke about the little kid who was discovered sitting on his potty, with tears rolling down his face.
"You shouldn't be acting that way."
Punchline: "It's MY POTTY and I'LL CRY IF I WANT TO!"
The mourners would all burst into hysterical laughter and give Howie a standing ovation, right? No? He'd be standing there, his right hand awkwardly extended, palm upward, doing his trademark nasal whine of incredulity, "What? What?"
What will he do to "top" his prankster friend? Get a gigantic rubber glove and have a helicopter lower it over the guy's house?
While Piers Morgan might disagree, there actually IS a place for a frisky Peter Pan like Howie Mandel, and "pranking" (as Mandel used to do when he first mounted a comeback via Leno's "Tonight Show") can be good, silly fun. But not this toilet paper-the house crap.
What's the best thing you can say about this idiocy? For one day, a dumb dick joke replaced a remark from a dumb dickhead politician, and a load of toilet paper knocked Kardashian's ass off the front page.
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