Sunday, December 3, 2017

The Greatest Living Film Director is...who?

Thanks O TWITTERVERSE, for letting me know. Not only is it Jean-Luc Godard's BIRTHDAY, but he is THE GREATEST LIVING FILM DIRECTOR.

Maybe not the greatest living "MOVIE" director. That could be anyone from Quentin Tarantino to Ridley Scott to whoever grabbed a camcorder and filmed "The Blair Witch Project."

But FILM director. Ahhhhh...EXCUUUUUUSE me. That would be someone who made serious fil-ums. Happy Birthday Lucky John:

That's a serious film director. He's touching his cranium. He's got glasses. He looks like every nerd in Film 101.

There have been millions of words written about Lucky over the past year alone, I'm sure. That's more than have actually seen his last film. Can you name it? We'll answer THAT "Jeopardy" question shortly.

But really, despite the millions of words that pretentious, verbose film-scholar TWITS have written on this guy, NONE capture his essence, his sangfroid, his trope, or how his work informs our culture. That's why THIS brilliant Tweet simply ran a picture:

Take a look. Once again, the glasses. That's the sign of an intellectual. But, unlike, say, Woody Allen...what ELSE do you see that is so important? YES! He is...SMOKING A CIGARETTE. Gauloises, hopefully.

What a guy. He made FILMS. Lesser people make MOVIES.

I'll admit it: I thought he was dead. It turns out I was confusing him with...TRUFFAUT. Now how could THAT be? Oh, because babbling, sweaty, stuttering nerds with 20 film books in their backpacks usually repeat the mantra: "Godard and Truffaut, Godard and Truffaut," when anyone asks them about their favorite directors.

Godard actually has been active in this century. But, to quote Michael Caine out of context, "Not too many people know dat."

You didn't see "Bridges of Sarajevo" did you? That was 2014, and his last feature film (so far). You missed "Notre Musique" in 2004, I bet? "In Praise of Love" in 2001? (Aside from these, he's made many "short subjects." When was the last time you saw a short subject that played in a movie theater? When was the last time you HEARD of a short subject before you saw some weary actor and actress you never heard of give a list of the Oscar nominees?

But I digress. If you missed Godard's 21st Century movies...you probably missed the ones he made in the 90's, 80's and 70's. I say this with confidence, because you're reading THIS blog. Therefore, your interest in gloomy, arty or pretentious French films is just about NIL. Especially if Bardot isn't in them.

You missed "For Ever Mozart" in 1996 and "La Rapport Darty" in 1989 and "How Is It Going" in 1976. And everything else he did in the 70's 80's and 90's.

Soooooooo....we have to go back to 1968 for a film you DID see: "Sympathy for the Devil." Which was a documentary, NOT an art film, and which you saw because of Jagger, not Godard. Thus, we must keep going back in time....

Ah. It didn't take long. Just over FIFTY YEARS AGO. In 1966 he directed "Masculin Feminin." Didn't see it? At least you've heard of it. "Contempt" 1963. "Breathless" 1960. So there we are. THREE art films that the average person (not the pretentious film student of the world) at least heard of.

In case you're wondering, Truffaut died in 1984. For me, the most important thing HE did was interview Hitchcock for a big book on all of Alfred's films. He did direct "The 400 Blows" in 1959, wrote "Breathless" for Godard, and filmed "Shoot the Piano Player" in 1960. He also directed three more films you've heard of: "The Bride Wore Black," "Jules and Jim" and "Soft Skin." So if he was still alive, HE might be the world's greatest living director, eh? And he'd be younger than Godard by two years. But he died in the early 80's, so he is not being toasted for being in his late 80's.

IF I'M BEING HONEST, most of those 50's and 60's French films are pretty lousy. Like snails, they are an acquired taste, and they mostly are a taste acquired by losers and loners who spend most of their time alone in the dark.

I'm talking about misfits who won't take a chance on a DVD if it's not released by Criterion. They're the type who won't even acknowledge that "Dementia" was a good experimental film, along with "Carnival of Souls." Because Simone Signoret wasn't in either of them.

If you CAN find a memorable French movie from that golden era of B&W, chances are it's memorable because it's HORRIBLE. You thought, "I gave it a shot, and I do NOT understand what's so great about this. What was so pioneering? They had no budget for a tripod so the guy used a hand-held camera? Everybody's smoking? Everybody's speaking FRENCH?"

I've sat through "thriller" movies that ended up existentially depressing. As in: "why does this exist on DVD, and why did I take it out, and how come it's now past due and I owe two bucks on it?" I don't know anyone who says, "Sure, let's watch ANOTHER 60's French movie!" Not after some terrible "caper film" about a crime gone wrong (with or without an American jazz soundtrack) or a grim and gruesome study on how to murder a French girl in an unpleasant way. Or, worse, how to bore people with a Bardot movie that is unwatchable when she's not on the screen.

In September do you suppose the Twitterverse will declare Bardot our greatest living sex symbol? Me neither. She didn't make enough SERIOUS films where the nudity was justified by the symbolism and the mise-en-scene. AND, there's nothing reflecting the zeitgeist.

Fuck film students. Oh, wait, that NEVER happens. If film students got laid, they wouldn't be film students.

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