Sunday, June 3, 2018

We Miss Our Glassy-Eyed Mail-Order Bride

Aww, a headline from the always dire NY Post:

When Donald Trump was just a reality show blowhard, regularly being insulted when he appeared on David Letterman's show, his third wife (or was it #4) was just a dyslexic joke: "Trump and his wife Melanoma..."

When he began insulting Mexicans and rising in the primaries, Melania was still a punchline, since there were nude pictures floating around from her modeling days, and she was perceived as little more than a mail-order bride ordered up by a millionaire. Would she have looked twice at the paunchy guy with the silly hair if he wasn't rich?

Once he became President, The Don's wife was, like his youngest son, now OFF LIMITS for jokesters. For one thing, she was doing the Jackie Kennedy act. She was well-dressed and QUIET. This was a contrast to her husband.

Jimmy Kimmel discovered just how much the attitude on Melania had changed when he gently chuckled and showed a clip of Melania reading to children in an accent that most of the kids may have not even understood. No bigger windbag than Sean Hannity raged at Kimmel for this contemptible derision of THE FIRST LADY. Or is she the third wife. Or fourth.

An interesting irony is that with all the "grab the pussy" remarks from Donald Trump, the country (we spell country C-O-unt...) didn't really feel sorry for the rich mama till Stormy Daniels arrived.

WHAT? Donald Trump was carrying on with a stripper-porn actress while his Baron (er, Barron) was being born? Is NOTHING sacred?

And so Melania is now a sympathetic figure. One might even declare that her foreign birth and strange accent only proves that you can make it big in America (as long as you have posed naked in a magazine and can attract a millionaire pussy hound).

Some weeks ago, with the Stormy Daniels farce not going away, Melania, who had kept her distance from Trump, went off to the hospital for "a procedure." Something minor concerning a kidney. Which could become the next chick-flick comedy starring Amy Poehler or one of the hilarious fat women, Amy Schumer or Melissa McCarthy or Aidy Bryant: "Something Minor Concerning a Kidney."

Just what was going on, nobody knows, but cynics would say it was a very good excuse for Melania to simply cool off and not have to be seen during these Stormy days. She was getting the sympathy even the reviled Hillary Clinton got when she too, turned from bitch to victim of a horndog.

Thus, "Where have you gone, Dear Melania? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you..."

Hey, in the meantime, google "MELANIA" and "NUDE."

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