Tuesday, November 20, 2018

The Daily News: Piss, Subliminal Nazi Fun and Crippled Ballplayers

Trump keeps talking about FAKE NEWS, but really, the problem is more than that.

It's inept editors. It's publishers who are only illiterate businessmen. It's Millennials who don't know how to write and are hired because they'll work cheap.

Hard news is often replaced with breathless KARDASHIAN stories because readers are conditioned to be ENTERTAINED rather than INFORMED.

But hey, I approach it with a sense of humor. Tragedy is Comedy.

Today at THE NEW YORK DAILY NEWS, the front page of their website has what all America, all of the world cares about: the state of Shania Twain's panties, and how awful-looking Christmas socks might appeal to Nazis.

I keed. I keed. Don't I?

You remember Shania Twain. She had a hit song ten or fifteen years ago. Now, she gets attention if she talks about her bladder control issues. But really, if Getty Images doesn't have a shot of glistening rivulets down her legs, this COULD be FAKE NEWS.

See you below...

The socks?

I don't want get too Vance Packard about this (huh? who dat?) but...isn't that arrangement SORT OF like a SWASTIKA?

Let's call it subliminal advertising to the large element of Jew haters out there who also LOVE CHRISTMAS.

Make sense now?

TIME (magazine) page 20, the Nov 26th issue, states "Hate crimes increased 17% in U.S." and guess what..."those against JEws increased more sharply, with 37% more incidents than in the previous year."

You don't hear that much about it, because Jews don't tend to sulk and/or riot, and take a knee when they play pro football. They don't mention over 2,000 years of abuse everywhere in the world (not just in America's South, where Jewish freedom riders were killed). Some haven't even broken or burned their Peter Gabriel, Patti Smith and Roger Waters albums, despite those three rooting for the destruction of Israel and "sanctions" against what they believe to be the ONLY apartheid nation on Earth, and the most evil country, too. You think they'd turn down a gig to play for the Saudis or the Russians or Kim Jung-Un?

But let's not get off on a rant.

On the lighter side, the lead sports item on the front page of the Daily Snooze is about a retired ballplayer. Check out the photo they chose.

Of COURSE the old guy had to retire. He couldn't keep his balance. "I've fallen near second base and I can't get up."

21 years is a long time, and now he's clearly arthritic.

In case you're wondering why you haven't seen Stevie Wonder on TV too much lately, I think it's because he's very busy with his job as a New York Daily News photo editor.

So, when will the New York Daily News be sold AGAIN? When will there be more budget cuts? Is it before or after they take the British approach to tabloid journalism, and move even more heavily into wardrobe malfunctions and outright nudity? Oh, and to spice things up, New York Daily News, you can be like your "sister" publication the London Daily Fail (er, Mail) and run violent gore photos, mutilation pix, burn victim close-ups and other yummy stuff that might compete for the attention span of 14 year-olds and their fave horror movies? No, no, don't EVER do a spoiler alert and say "caution, disturbing image...click here to see.")

So far, so funny. Piss, Nazi socks and crippled ballplayers. That, and typos, and Jenner/Hadid/Kardashian/Ariana/Cardi B bullshit, is just the way to make what isn't FAKE NEWS just plain laughing stock.

Maybe the Snooze should be like the rest of the Internet and just print a ton of "stock" photos for laughs, claim "fair use" and don't pay the photographers. Then be like Wikipedia and or the Huffity-Puffity Post or Newswer, and cry "fair use" on anything quoted or re-written.

Fires in California, Saudi atrocities, Gun violence in Chicago...nah, today it's:

SHANIA TWAIN PEES HERSELF...BAD XMAS SOCKS ARRANGED SWASTIKA STYLE...A PHOTO OF A TEETERING BASEBALL PLAYER...

Funny....the New York Daily News has more laughs than The Onion. Then again, so does any newspaper obituary page.

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